Connecting to my emotions

[Catatonic]

London...London is definitely a crazy place. It's like New York crazy but with a much nicer atmosphere and population. Cleaner too. Too bad things are so expensive there. Like $10 hamburgers. I think I'm going to seriously consider attending school there if I get accepted.

[Catatonic]

firemen and police officers = hot hot hot. i don't think i've really seen a "triangle" body until now. but then again...they have a high percentage of domestic violence...but still it's nice eye candy.

 

p.s. just realized, i think i'm making up reasons not to be receptive to these guys. it's bad. i think i'm making excuses because i'm scared of guys. not in a "omg, don't talk to me, please don't hurt meee" kind of way but more like i won't take chances with them. it's sad b/c the guys in my class are actually really nice. but then again my dad can be really nice too on the outside. i dunno...i'm conflicted. it's true about the domestic violence thing, but of course it's a generalization. well actually i think firemen are okay, it's the police that have the d.v. problem. so hmm...

[Catatonic]

my friend says go, go go. haha. and i think i should to. maybe step it up to more flirty talk and touchy-feely (ahem, "palpations") when we're pairing up for skill practice... hehe. no no, i shouldn't let my hormones get the better of me. but man...boy's got sexy bodiee... man, what's gotten into me...i think it's because i've had a lack in real manly guys in my social circle. random boys, sure. but not any real MEN. i think that's why i don't know how to handle it. it's like seeing guys with abercrombie model-type bodies every day. not that i'm complaining.

[Catatonic]

why is it that once you start seeing someone that suddenly other people want to see you too? it's like they can sense it or something. anyway, i'm just gonna ride it out and see who wins. it's gonna be a fun new year's eve.