Muzatsu Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 -Update- AN EPIPHANY! GUESS WHAT GUYS, GOD CAME DOWN AND HIT ME ON THE FREAKIN' HEAD! I've decided that I don't want to get back together with my ex anymore. I am young and he is afraid of being in a genuine commitment. There's no point in pursuing a commitment phobe when you are only 18 years old. I've decided, there is other fish in the sea after all...I love him, but I can't be with someone who's inconsiderate to me, who says he's not ready to be in a committed relationship after dating for 3 years, who drinks and smokes and writes subpar poetry instead of doing school work...I am too young to feel this much grief over a boy who basically just played me for a fool. What kind of guy dumps you the day after prom, THAT YOU PAID FOR, anyway? People at enotalone, I see the light now! I am relatively young to be on this site, first of all...the breakup was hard, yes...and I did want him back. But no more. I've done all the introspection I can...He doesn't even love me anymore, why waste time on someone like that when I can find someone who genuinely loves me back? I realized, thanks to people like Iarra and happy79...that I need to respect myself and be all that I can be! I still have major self-esteem problems, but whatever, I'm gonna love me now. I'm not going to rebound or anything. But I am taking all the time I need to lose whatever weight I need to lose, to do whatever it takes to make me happy. He didn't truly love me, but I loved him. He was infatuated with me, and I was in love with him. If he ever comes back, time will tell. For now, I am finally, after three months of crying and bargaining with myself that he will come back, on my way to healing. There are more college boys in my future than him. There will be boys everywhere. Why should I get stuck on one boy who isn't even in love with me anymore ahah! I see the light, and it is brighter than this darkness! He was my first love, and I'll always love him, but I now see that with his current maturity level and addictions, he is absolutely no good for me. Until he grows up and becomes a man with priorities and such, I will not even consider another chance. He was the first person I became intimate with ( I never had sex though ) . There are plenty of attractive, brown-skinned, slender, pretty eyed, intellectuals at college! He's gonna be going out and having fun with girls, but what the hell, I'll have my fun with guys. He's moved on, so why shouldn't I? The only reason I'm staying in this part of the breaking up forum is because of the nice people and because I want to get to be friends with him now. I see him for how he is now, I don't know how it snapped but it did. The gig is up, I am free and young, not even in my twenties and sobbing over some boy who's not even full grown yet and claims to be. I'm free, he let me go, he said I could see who ever I WANT. I AM FREE, his spell is done! I am still upset and still missing him, but whatever! We can be best friends! We can be platonic! I don't give a about him being my boyfriend anymore. I AM FREE GUYS, I AM FREE. I have my virginity intact, and I have my talents to spare! Sorry for the rant, Love, Muzatsu... Link to comment
sandyv Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Muzatsu, thats wonderful!..... Yes, you are young, you have your life ahead of you... enjoy! Sandy Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Thats great. Since you and god are communicating do you mind asking him to give me a nice solid back hand accross the chops? Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Hallelujah, hallelujah... For she has seen the light dear brothers and sisters Congratulations for coming to the end of that tunnel. Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 Thats great. Since you and god are communicating do you mind asking him to give me a nice solid back hand accross the chops? I'll try my best lol. Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 Muzatsu, thats wonderful!..... Yes, you are young, you have your life ahead of you... enjoy! Sandy thanks for the encouragement! Link to comment
bubblyblonde11 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Yey good for you girl xxxx Link to comment
Iarra Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Wahoo! Good for you, Muzatsu. Keep it up Glad I can help. Link to comment
happy79 Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Good for you Muzatsu, glad I could help too!! You've got a great attitude towards life, things will turn out great. It soudns as though you've boarded a speed train towards the light at the end of your tunnel!! Stay strong, have fun and enjoy life!! It is one heck of a ride!! Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 ahh crap guys something happened Link to comment
in_love Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 what????????????????? argh! :S Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted August 25, 2007 Author Share Posted August 25, 2007 blehh.... the moment I let go. I get a phone call...and I tell him that he put me through all this crap in our relationship and he wasn't there for me and crap. AND HE ACCEPTED IT. HE APOLOGIZED AND SAID HE WANTED TO CHANGE AND HOPEFULLY GET BACK TOGETHER. Why is fate always so cruel... Link to comment
lawofnature Posted August 25, 2007 Share Posted August 25, 2007 what? I just saw your earlier post and was going to say 'good for you!'...and then all the sudden everything has changed....Yeah...I have to agree that fate is so cruel...How do you feel? I don't know how I would feel if I were you...confused? angry? or happy? I have to tell you to be cautious and don't let your guards down though. He might just realize that you finally gave up and he is really losing you...Don't let him string you along. So he said he wanted to change and hopefully get back together? Well...let him prove that he can change first...meanwhile go enjoy your first year in college...Study hard and have fun! Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted August 25, 2007 Author Share Posted August 25, 2007 what? I just saw your earlier post and was going to say 'good for you!'...and then all the sudden everything has changed....Yeah...I have to agree that fate is so cruel...How do you feel? I don't know how I would feel if I were you...confused? angry? or happy? I have to tell you to be cautious and don't let your guards down though. He might just realize that you finally gave up and he is really losing you...Don't let him string you along. So he said he wanted to change and hopefully get back together? Well...let him prove that he can change first...meanwhile go enjoy your first year in college...Study hard and have fun! I told him that I am sure he is sincere, but after putting me through all that heartache and pain and in such a manner... ruining the last few memories I had of high school, going on a break with me the day after prom, then leaving me on my last day of high school before the finals, right after yearbook signings and tearful goodbyes. Keep in mind that he's already in college and has forgotten how sentimental this time should be. He is truly sorry for once, because he was crying and the only other time he cried was when I told him we weren't friends. I said I would wait and see what changes he would make for the time being, but that there was no progress then it was no cigar. He told me he never thought of any other girls, and from the start of the breakup he clarified that he didn't want to be in any kind of relationship with anyone. He was asked out by a few girls, but he rejected them all because he said that they couldn't compare to me. And he felt that I was young and I should have better suitors take me because he felt he couldn't provide what I needed. I told him I believed that he could stop his drinkiing habits and get back on track, and that I would help him make his goals a reality, as a friend. I don't believe he is stringing me along because he said although he wanted me back, he knew that now would just be too hasty and we would end up in the same situation. He also knew that I still had some animosity towards him over how he treated me and understands if I am rejecting his offer for now. Link to comment
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