unstuck Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 How many of you guys and gals ignored that gut feeling or red flag that something was wrong? I just found out that for the whole 5 month's I was with my (now) ex-girlfriend that EVERY single notion of a lie, bad feeling about what she's doing or where she's been, and my gut instinct of her behavior was DEAD ON! I feel duped, but "I" IGNORED my inner voice. MY FAULT! I'm telling you people that we cant ignore those red flags just because we WANT to believe this person is who they say they are, or who we want them to be. I dont think I'm psyhcic or anything but WOW! What I thought was just paranoia was EXACTLY what was going on, from all the little lies to the BIG lies, CREEPY! Anyway, shes history, lesson learned. NC and move on! Link to comment
mintblossom Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 what happened? what did you find out? and what does this gut instinct feel like? Link to comment
StarLily Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Yeah my gut instinct was dead on too from the day my ex started having doubts.. Link to comment
lovelyc Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I love the way you said that Unstuck....I agree 100% Link to comment
theartofruin Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Yeah I've had gut feelings before. Once with a girl about 6-7 years ago. I was right that time. Then my recent ex a few months ago, I knew something was up, I could just tell... was right again. I guess I was hoping (both times) I'd be wrong. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 how does "gut instinct" work? Link to comment
shaaiqah Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 I had gut a feeling that my husband was cheating on me on email and SMS and about 5 months and 10 days I found out ... I am still devasted about it because ever since this happen he cannot show me love married 14 years and 3 kids later I have to live this feeling of hurt sadness and betrayal. HELP Link to comment
StarLily Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 how does "gut instinct" work? No idea... but when you sense that something is different, you look for the best explanation, maybe? Like in my case, I knew my bf would never ever cheat on me... so the best explanation was: Maybe he is having doubts about how we can make this LDR work... Link to comment
Confused_Dude Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 In my last relationship I totally ignored my gut instinct and SEVERAL red flags. It ended up being the most TOXIC relationship I have ever had. Horrible experience - a few highs mixed with MAJOR lows. I am trying to expedite my recovery by realizing it was just horrible. I will never make the same mistakes again! Definitely trust your gut! Link to comment
S agapo Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Wow.. Strange that this post was added. Just on my way home from work today, again i was thinking about my relationship with my ex. I was saying to myself that i had a gut feeling something wrong was going to happen between us. Even the plans we made for june i couldn't see it happening. I actually played out a whole role in my thoughts obviously before the troubles started. Maybe I jinx my relationship with him?! But anyways, The end result was him calling me after not hearing from eachother for some little time. But him contacting me has not happened, as yet! Link to comment
honest abe Posted July 5, 2007 Share Posted July 5, 2007 Ah the ever elusive "Gut Instinct" If you got it, it works all the time. Its a fine line between gut instinct and insecurity but when you are intune with your surroundings your gut will give you signs. I figured out my ex was cheating on me because my gut was screaming that the vibe was different. It was minor things like she would look me in the eyes for only a brief second rather than her usual length. Then it was the pulling away. Somehow the gut felt it before it happened, its like her conscious was leading my gut. My advice to everyone is always trust your cut. If you can feel somethings up, it probably is. Of course make sure you approach the topic carefully just incase your gut is overacting and you dont' have proof. Link to comment
unstuck Posted July 7, 2007 Author Share Posted July 7, 2007 Yeah, she was a GOOD liar, I would question things she said or done and she could think on the spot like nobody I've ever known. I believe strongly in Intuition but I still wont jump the gun, like I said I could have been just paranoid, and made a jerk of myself throwing out acusations. This nice girl who loved me and wanted to marry me turned out to be someone I dont even really know, I fell in love with a sick, twisted, manitulative user, and now have to move on trying to maintain some trust in women. I refuse to allow her to effect me or my future relationships, there are good women out there and I'll find one I deserve, and that deserves to be treated the way I treated my ex. BUT! I will be very careful and not ignore that "feeling" when something don't jive. Peace! Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 How many of you guys and gals ignored that gut feeling or red flag that something was wrong? I just found out that for the whole 5 month's I was with my (now) ex-girlfriend that EVERY single notion of a lie, bad feeling about what she's doing or where she's been, and my gut instinct of her behavior was DEAD ON! I feel duped, but "I" IGNORED my inner voice. MY FAULT! I'm telling you people that we cant ignore those red flags just because we WANT to believe this person is who they say they are, or who we want them to be. I dont think I'm psyhcic or anything but WOW! What I thought was just paranoia was EXACTLY what was going on, from all the little lies to the BIG lies, CREEPY! Anyway, shes history, lesson learned. NC and move on! I had the same gut instinct at the beginning of my relationship and ignored it..and am still dealing with the breakup consequences of a relationship that was emotionally damaging to me for almost a year and a half, let alone the breakup....Go with your gut, always! Link to comment
Diabra Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 First of all, some of you have asked in this forum what exactly a "gut feeling" is... I think everyone has them, but some are more sensitive than others and feel them more acutely. The best way I know to explain a gut feeling (or intuition) is to say that it is much like a little voice inside you that doesn't so much *TALK* to you (not a schitzo type voice lol) but that guides the way you *FEEL* inside about your partner. If you can feel the atmosphere of a room when you enter it, if you can "sense" the mood of someone before they even say a word, that is a lot like a gut feeling. It's a "color" almost... like an aura that you can feel when you interact with your partner. When I first met my now ex partner... I had a bad feeling because he seemed very unstable to me in certain ways, and I had red flags left and right the more we talked. But I got involved anyway with him, fell for him, and it's been a rocky road ever since. So mind those gut feelings! PLEASE! Link to comment
sun Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 No idea... but when you sense that something is different, you look for the best explanation, maybe? Like in my case, I knew my bf would never ever cheat on me... so the best explanation was: Maybe he is having doubts about how we can make this LDR work... How can you make the difference between gut feelings and instinct and fears and self-sabotage? Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 Just posted a thread on this very topic on the "healing from breakup and divorce" board....yep....red flags, toxic emotions, the whole enchilada... Link to comment
Religioux Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 How ironic...a random "gut feeling" that I got about my guy last night led to our breakup just earlier. Last night he was acting oddly protective over his cell phone. Nothing too major. Just a little off. And I knew that this girl had been texting him a lot lately about how much she wanted to be with him, because he actually complained to me about how annoying it was. Something just felt weirdly wrong. This morning, I woke up and went through his cell phone while he was still sleeping. Snooping is wrong, I know. But I couldn't ignore this iffy feeling in my stomach. And sure enough, I saw that while I had been sleeping last night, right next to him, he had been texting the girl back and forth about how he needed to think things through about the two of them, and he understood if she didn't want to wait around for him. He also called her (after she begged him, via text, to do so) and talked to her for a good twelve or thirteen minutes around midnight last night. Yup. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling. Trust me, after almost a year of being with him, and spending nearly every day with him...you start to notice when little things feel off. You develop habits and your mind notices when something is different. Even the smallest of things. Link to comment
groovy_girl Posted July 11, 2007 Share Posted July 11, 2007 ARGH That guy sounds so nasty, how u feeling now? Link to comment
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