whatif Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I need ENA visioneers' help with this situation. I have been trying to hang out with this girl for the last couple of weekend, and, I believe, I am finally having at least a dinner with ther this evening. We have talked and know each other for a while, but never an evening out together. Here is the dilemma. Our families are from India and divorse or fathers leaving is a big taboo in our culture. Her dad had left her mom for a much younger woman when she was about 10 years old, and it had made headlines within the community. I am sure it had scarred her back then, and still causing her a great deal of discomfort since her mom never got remarried. Question is, since today being Fathers' Day, should I ask her anything about her feelings, or should I just act normal and don't bring up the fathers' day at all unless she brings it up? What's the best strategy? Once again, thanks for your time and wisdom. Link to comment
Cimmie Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 DON'T bring up Father's Day!! It's a first date!!! There is no need to make her uncomfortable by showing you know all about this. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Yes I agree with Cimmie. This is a first date and I wouldn't bring up something that could provoke intense feelings and upset her. If she brings it up herself, your best strategy is to listen and support her. But definitely don't be the one to initiate the topic. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 don't bring it up. dating is not therapy. chances are she won't want to talk about it on the date. just talk about normal, positive things. Link to comment
Raphael256 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I have a similar situation, my parents divorced when i was about 7 and i've never seen my mom again ever since then. I also recently found out i have 2 half sisters that i've never met but that's a whole different story. Anyways, definitely don't bring it up on the date. Link to comment
whatif Posted June 17, 2007 Author Share Posted June 17, 2007 What if she asks me about what I did for my dad? Don't I have to at least ask her if her dad called or how you feel or something in that nature? I don't want to act like i don't know nothing about her when we both know I know all about it. But after reading four agreed opinions, I am definitly not bringing it up. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 I would not even bring it up. especially knowing that their relationship is strained. why even ask? Link to comment
Raphael256 Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Bringing it up would only ruins her mood. I know for me even tho now i don't really care anymore, but when i was a kid it was a big deal and it's the one thing i don't want to talk about on a date. Link to comment
CharLit Posted June 17, 2007 Share Posted June 17, 2007 Hello Whatif, I won't give advice because I'm guessing you're already on your date, so.... how did it go? cheers, C Link to comment
whatif Posted June 18, 2007 Author Share Posted June 18, 2007 CharLit It went very well. Thanks to Raphel, Annie, Hope, and Cimmie for the firm advice. Fathers' day never came up and we had such a good time. I am pretty excited at this point. Thank you all again. Link to comment
TANKGRL Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Congrats on a good date...hopefully the next will be a good one too...or even better!!! Link to comment
Cimmie Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Yay! Glad to hear the date went well! Link to comment
Raphael256 Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Glad to hear you had a good date, hope things will keep going that way Link to comment
Hope75 Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Glad to hear that you had a great time and that Father's Day didn't come up. Here's to a second date! Link to comment
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