SilverManic Posted June 4, 2007 Share Posted June 4, 2007 I knew my husband 4 years online before I married him. We met, he proposed and we were engaged for a month or so. We married in october and are expecting a baby. We're happy together even though we are in separate countries we will be together someday. We know nothing will be easy and we know we will argue. But we also agree even if we have a huge fight we will always make it up. We are just too much alike. We click in everyway yet we dissagree on things too. It's perfectly fine and I'm happy with my relationship. Moral? There is no time frame go with whats comfortable for you! Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted June 5, 2007 Author Share Posted June 5, 2007 I knew my husband 4 years online before I married him. We met, he proposed and we were engaged for a month or so. We married in october and are expecting a baby. We're happy together even though we are in separate countries we will be together someday. We know nothing will be easy and we know we will argue. But we also agree even if we have a huge fight we will always make it up. We are just too much alike. We click in everyway yet we dissagree on things too. It's perfectly fine and I'm happy with my relationship. Moral? There is no time frame go with whats comfortable for you! Wow silver, living in different countries and expecting a baby....that must be difficult. I guess I do not know what the difinitive right answer would be...I do not think there is one. I have heard of many instances where someone marries and then finds out the person they loved, wasn't that person. That scares me. But I also was in a 22 year long relationship, and guess what? You never really "know" someone. Even being in a relationship is a crap-shoot...marriage aside. The mistake I will not make again is to make the relationship my entire life. I have learned (the hard way) to make my own life, persue what makes me happy, and not to make any relationship the focus of what makes me feel good about myself. That means making sure that emotionally, socially and financially I am taking care of me. Not handing someone else the ownership papers to me. Many people do that, and when the other person proves to be human, a disappointment, or lets them down...they crash to the ground because the forgot to take care of themselves. I am not going to do this. I love this man, but I am also NOT going to forget to love myself. It takes a conscience effort for me because of behavior patterns...but I am learning to recognize them and try to change them....and not let someone change me. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 5, 2007 Share Posted June 5, 2007 From my experience I think that very often it's a crapshoot. I haven't read the other responses, but I know a couple who lived together for about 7 years, then were married for 7 years and then divorced, a close friend met and married her husband within 7 months and then divorced after 20 years, my parents dated for about a year, were long distance for 4 years, never lived together pre-marriage and have been married 51 years. I personally am a fan of a one year dating period so you can see what he/she is like during the various milestones - holidays, birthdays, and there is more of a chance to see what happens in both good and bad situations - work performance reviews, the flu, family events, family illness, even gift giving. Good luck to you and your fiancee! Link to comment
Mistygirl Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 Did that before, wish I would have waited. If you really love each other then you can wait but i know it's hard when you are anxious to get settled in to a married life. Only thing, with mine, there were red flags that I choose to ignore. Link to comment
Diabra Posted June 14, 2007 Share Posted June 14, 2007 I do not think there is a "time" requirement when two people decide they are right for each other and want to get married. I think the "wait" idea is of no help at all and if you are right for each other time does not matter one iota. I do think that couples should take the time to get to know each other well before tying the knot... but to put a time restraint on that is absurd. Some can get to know each other deeply in a few months, others may take years. So I say follow your heart and marry the one you love. Link to comment
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