Falling Apart

[naughty_jiggidy]

Well this time has come...

 

Yesturday I went and did my counceling session in order to go through with the abortion. -sighs- Im soo struggling! Tomarrow is the day. I dontknow if I can do this agian.

 

I have someone lined up for caleb. I have the day to be alone.. But no one knows. No one knows the pain im feeling. I look at caleb and I fall apart. I have no engery to get anything done. In some ways I just want this to be over with, but Iknow to get that feeling, this has to happen and I just cant seem to get through it.

 

I know I dont have todo this. But I do.

 

Jesse has been alright. He was sweet last night and reassuring. But not there to really "talk" like i need at the moment.

 

Im just falling. Girls I need to be picked up, fast.

 

please.... this is my last night, with my.... baby.

[southerngirl]

If your feeling that bad about it do not go through with this.

 

Seriously, you wont be able to turn back the clock!

 

What do your parents say about this? Have you told them yet that you are pregnant?

[adahy]

Your conscience holds the answers.

 

Best wishes.

[sophie274]

I agree with southerngirl - are you just feeling down because you have no one to talk to, or are you not sure you really want to do this? Are you having second thoughts? What is standing in the way of you making a decision you can get behind 100%?

[amtjrtcet]

God never gives you anything you can't handle. You don't HAVE to give up this baby. I promise you, this baby doesn't want to you give up

[Gracelove]

Why do you feel you have to get an abortion??? If you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.

If you're feeling this way, think you'll probably regret it.

It's not too late.

[BornToResist]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

 

Is this really what you want? Like all the others said, if it's not, you CAN have the baby if that's what you feel is right. You aren't alone, others have been through this before.

 

It's a tough decision either way.

 

I'm so sorry I can't be more help...

[naughty_jiggidy]

Well, most of you know the story from my past posts. For those who dont- fast sum up: Jesse and I are well, just friends. We live in separate states, yada yada. This was just a fun wekeend after I had my son caleb (he is well 5.5months old.) He isnt ready for this, Im still in schoola nd have caleb. So were both not ready.

 

Im scared very much so!! I know I cannot handle two babies. I know my parents wont support round two. They have already said that. They DO not know that Im pregnant! So, thats part of the issue. Honestly, there are days when I can barely handle caleb- hes at that very demanding stage in life.

 

I want to get my Bachelors degree. I want to get a great job and do things right! I want to be your average 20 almost 21 year old, but thats already hard because of caleb. but I LOVE him dearly and wouldnt change him for the world, ya know? Im so in love with him. Calebs dad robert and I are trying to work things out, but thats a mess in its own. He helps with caleb somewhat.

 

I just cannot afford this. I cannot afford another baby.

 

Iknow god only gives you things for a reason, and tahts why this is hard. I regretted my 1st one when I was 16, but I was cornered. I had no other option. Im in it again.

 

With no one to turn to this time around.

[redrose85]

have you considered adoption?

[naughty_jiggidy]

yes and with my highrisk pregnancys i couldnt put that effort and not have it in the end...