waffle

I assume by "intimacy" you mean "sex"?

That's not what he said. He said it's about her nose and jawline.

You didn't say if YOU are into HIM.

By gaining some maturity and re-evaluating your priorities is the only way I can see. I'm not saying looks/beauty aren't somewhat important, as they are one factor among many. I'm saying that when you realize that you are a person who is ONLY attracted to the superficial (looks) instead of attracted to the actual person as a whole and for who they are, that's when you might start making real progress.

I always feel sad when I read stuff like this. And I never know what the answer is. All I know I would never want someone to feel that way about me. On the other hand, my brother met and married a gorgeous woman. They're divorced now and he's all set up with alimony payments and lost his house, etc. But at least she was/is pretty.

What exactly does he want you to do about this? Does he want you to become "more attractive" for him? I guess I don't understand the point of him telling you that. Oh wait, yes I do. Like others have said, he is doing it to deliberately hurt you. This is someone you want in your life? Here's what I think. I think he's laying the groundwork for cheating, and then if/when he does, he will blame you because you're not "attractive enough." I have a friend this happened to. Gave himself permission to openly cheat because he "wasn't attracted." It took her a while to finally see what he was doing to her but finally she saw the light and dumped his loser @$$. She wasted many years with him though because she was "in love." Yeah.

Well, again, we all have different comfort levels. Chatting with a guy for a day or two just long enough to set up a meeting and then having a short meeting where you still find out absolutely nothing about them would be a waste of time for me.

Insincerity and flakiness is a hallmark of online dating. Strangers promising other strangers future dates/activities and the next day (or even that same night) back on the app with a fresh supply of the opposite sex (or their preferred sex at least) to ogle. I know it's difficult but it's a mistake to take any of it too seriously. edited to add: I will also go against the grain and say that chatting with someone for weeks beforehand (or even months) is not necessarily a bad thing and often makes the person you're going to meet seem like less of a stranger. But we all have different comfort levels.

Often/usually the problem is not what you're doing or not doing, but who you are. If you are someone who can only get off the couch and help out and/or stop lying to her when you think she's on her way out, then all of these efforts will be short-lived anyway and will stop when the coast is (perceived to be) clear. Bottom line is you're going to have to forget putting on an act just to save your relationship and seriously work on yourself.

My experience is anything that starts out with this high intensity will inevitably crash and burn just as fast. Add in a very significant age difference and then you mix drugs and alcohol with it . . . none of this sounds like a positive experience.

Yeah but the quality of the suitors is usually a bit lacking. 😐

He sounds like a delicate princess. Honestly I'd be so turned off by this guy there isn't a chance in hell I'd ever be able to have sex with him again. My ___________ would dry up faster than a raindrop in the desert.

I've always wondered what goes through a man's mind when he's doing this. What is he hoping to achieve? The only thing I was ever able to come up with was he was trying to make the lady in question feel insecure. I can't think of a single GOOD reason why a man would do this.

I've found that by far--and I mean BY FAR--the #1 problem behind men not being able to find a date/relationship/what have you, is not their looks or even their personality, it's the fact that they simply don't know what women want.

I don't know, you sound like a sexual god with a magic ***k , I'm surprised more women aren't begging for sex with you.

And frankly I've never had a conversation with anyone where a comment on my friends' attractiveness would be natural and not inappropriate. Something is definitely not right here.

I'd tell him that his faux concern for her wellbeing is touching but she has enough men rushing to be by her side when she's in a funk. He sounds a bit like a clown and for all your claims that the relationship is "stable" it doesn't really seem like it. I think for now I'd quit mentioning her to him in any context and see how things proceed. What she does and says is none of his business anyway.

Well, it certainly doesn't look good. And given that you've caught him "flirting and lying about things" in the past, it REALLY doesn't look good.

Bottom line is a quality man will never do this.

Kind of like Johns might do with prostitutes? You may want to start thinking with the head above your waist and avoid "breastaurants" because this sounds sketchier and sketchier the more you post about it.

I wondered that too. I don't know, but I have a couple of theories (and I am working off the assumption that the claim of these women being simply "friends" won't actually be believed by us): 1) to let us know we have competition so we can up our game? or 2) to raise their value in our eyes i.e. "look at all these gorgeous women I associate with." Regardless, I think it's in extremely poor form (and yes, immature) and turns me off to the point where it is a 100% instant dealbreaker for me.

I would be completely turned off by this (actually it has happened and I have been turned off by this, because they were not "friends" they were pics he downloaded from womens' profiles off of a dating site). It's up to you how you feel about it, but it sounds like it makes you uncomfortable (as it did me) so don't be afraid to take a pass as you have nothing invested at this point.

And let me add that the "no drama" thing is nonsense and can be translated as: "I'm going to treat you poorly and you better just shut your mouth and accept it." No thank you.

Could be, although "from what I hear, men are . . . " suggests he/she doesn't really know much about men and is looking for mens' input. At any rate, in that case would this leading post with pictures of food suggest he is on a forum looking for a woman to cook for him? This whole "Anonymous" thing needs to go as it only encourages trolls.

It also helps to know that what women are looking for in a man is not necessarily the same as what men are looking for in a woman. A lot of men just assume "I'm not attractive enough" when the problem could be something else entirely but they only focus on that because a woman's appearance is what's important to them.