Prettyangel

All your advice is greatly appreciated. I think that everyone of you has a good point and I thought of it as well. Huggs

I have been dating this guy for about 2.5 month now. So far everything was going well. We spend weekends together and had a wonderful time. He has been honest, caring and truly showed me he wants me in his life. 2 days later we spoke on the phone and he tells me that he thinks I am falling in love with him and he is not sure if he feels the same way about me. He says to me, how do I know you the ONE? How do I know we meant to be together? He almost sounded in a panic. He tells me that he just wanted me to know this and now that he did tell me this it is ok to not to worry about it. He went to a friends house for a BBQ that eve and told me he call me when he got back and he did. He says to me that he just needs a little space to sort all of this out. I asked him if there was someone else and he says, well there is an old friend (female) that he had been talking with a lot lately and he has been thinking about her and want to do things with her. This stunned me totally. I mean here we are enjoying one another so much. There was no clue no hint of him having all these doubts. I told him that I cared for him a lot and that I want to be with him and told him that I had indeed fallen in love with him. I told him that I will let him go with love and keep the door open for him should he decide he knows what he truly wants. He wrote me a letter back thanking me for being so understanding and that he had to do what he had to do. He told me he felt hurt knowing he hurt me and that is why he was doing this, he did not want to continue hurting me. What do I do now?

There is no trust on your part in this relationship. What will eventually happen is that your bf will leave. Why? because men feel when something is wrong with a woman. Especially insecurity and dis-trust. What an invation of his privacy to snoop in his mail. That is plain wrong. So if you want to loose him , go ahaed and do what you are doing. Now if you want to keep him and want this to be a healthy relationship, changes have to happen, with YOU! I say, get some good self help and self improvement literature. There is tons of this stuff online for free as well. Work on your problems within yourself and learn to love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that snooping around in your bf privat things is absolutely wrong and very degrading to yourself. I think you definitely need help here and soon. From what I read, I feel that this is an obsessive love for you and not a healthy partnership. Good Luck.

I read your story and I am sorry you are hurting over all this. All I can say is as a woman, move on. Now it is time to take care of you and your life. Whatever her problem is, she has to work on it and you have to work on your problems. Take some time for you and makes some inner repairs. Love does not hurt! PERIOD! A relationship takes 100/100% on both sides. You can't change her, but you can change you and find out why you are in such pain with yourself. You see, when you love yourself and you respect yourself, you don't hurt because someone broke up with you. It is a myth that people allow themselves to go through every day, millions of them. Noone can break your heart, no one can make you feel bad, no one can make you miss someone and so on, why? because you are in charge of your own feelings, you are th eone who is making you feel bad or good. That is your responsibility as a person. If you are so hurt right now it is because you chose to hurt. She has nothing to do with that. I know that may sound strange to you but those are the facts! All the love "you think" you feel for her is the love that is within yourself, that is the kind of love you must give to yourself 1st!!!!! before you can ever be in a healthy relationship. Some food for thought before I close.....why do you give her such "power over" you? Think about that.

I agree with sidehop. I feel that this man seems to be playing a game and that is not kool! Concentrate on your own life and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve better. I feel that he is going to eventually end up back with his ex. Think about how he treats her and how he is treating you. He will treat women in that way until someone stops him and shows him that this is not the way this goes. So be the 1st one to show him. He doesen't have any self respect or self love to be doing stuff like this. So how can he give you a healthy relationship when he has so many issues. BTW, men love sex and as long as you give it so freely, he will take that. Don't confuse sex and lust with love. Love does not hurt! God Bless!