Lambert

I get it. changing hours like that is very hard in happy times. I talk to plants, tv, myself... I've been practicing my accents... lol. I sing with the radio, I make my own songs up... I'm a real character in this situation. Anything to just stay up and in the moment. i wish i had a cat so bad. But also I try to let it out when I need to.. cry, sob or scream into pillow, rip up the junk mail before trashing.... reach out to friends- phone more, text less. laugh hard with them! I'm sure you're gonna do fine. And if you don't, ok. these are tough times. but bad times don't last. we must save ourselves for better days. I watched a doctor on you tube give cleaning advice and he kept saying, just do your best. And I agree with that. Its something my mom always said on test days. Somehow, when you are doing the best you can, even if its not that great [emoji5] the universe recognizes the effort and it works out. keep the faith. You made it through last time. you will this time!

Hi bolt... sending you a hug. I saw on tv to hold your own hands together or wrap your arms around yourself and close your eyes. imagine being held or hugged... I know it sounds hokey. I'm alone, too. The lack of human contact and lonliness are real struggles... i tried it... it helped.

Hi everyone. I'm doing ok. Today, I'm off of work and there's not a lot to do. I decided to surrendered to it....I feel like until there is wide scale testing available, nothing to be done. I must go with the flow... Easier said than done... Mediation helps.... focusing on the breath, stopping the chatter in my head. I shopped on line and sent wine to a couple of my girlfriends and a coffee cake to my parents. Give them a little surprise in the coming days. I have some old bread to go feed the birds. Then I'll make some lunch. I have a phone date with my crush. Hope everyone has some laughs today, maybe gets some fresh air and some exercise. Don't forget to breath, this too shall pass. xxoo

I worry about this, too. People can be foolish and wreckless. But I've been reminding myself, I can only control myself and live in the moment I'm in. Over thinking and taking yourself down the path of how this all plays out is the devil right now. Try having positive self - talk... things like, I'm ok today. I am smart and follow the advice to protect myself. I have what I need for right now. I hope this helps... this is hard and just trying to cope can be different for everyone...

I can't sleep... and so I'm thinking about all kinds of past stupid stuff.... why is it when I cant sleep, I ruminate on bad memories. not good ones? think I'm gonna lay here and recount good times. wish me luck zzzzzzzz

these are not the droids youre looking for[emoji112]

stay strong! that's a long fight!

ikr! so pathetic... looking forward to better days

thank u. u2... i was watching the clouds earlier and just wished more than anything we had plans for tonight like we used to. ugh.....

thanks sweetgirl... i am really trying....it will get better. i just feel like dag.... dude doesn't miss me. what did i miss? i thought we were so good. not unrealistic love bombing crap. o well.... good news is, we are nc and I'm doing things for myself to move forward. i ride out the sad feelings and tell myself "it'll getter better. my life is about me, blah blah blah[emoji23]"

Its so funny . it's 6 wks. soon it well be 6 mos. i just feel like an @ hole. how could it be that we don't talk. ever. it is like a light switch. i didn't and still don't see how this happened. its like this craxy person i don't know took over you. and everything will just be better if you didn't talk to me. But weren't we the best part of the day. i can still feel your hand in my hand. if all u said is true and everything that happened... that is.... a shame? i don't even know what it is. i know... its a waste. and a disappointment.... if it isn't then... i just can't believe it. dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. My very own made for home version. ugh.... I'm proud of myself, too. i had many reasons to reach out and i still haven't. I won't.... i am moving on. its hard... i wish more time would pass and i would feel better.

u2! i like it

She's an ass and so are you!

It just bums me out. I think at 42, you should know yourself better. To say you didn't know you had feelings for her until you saw her just trips me out. For 5 months you were with me but you didn't know you had feelings for her?

My initial reaction was one of hurt and shock. Now that has time has passed and I have had some time to think, I feel like well, this is your issue. I don't know what is going on with you and what you are trying to accomplish. But I do know what we had was a good thing. And you miss me. You might think your tied to her and that your deep feelings are for her... But things have changed. I wouldn't say it won't work, but I know the old problems will come back. And when that happens you will think of me. And you will remember all our good times. Nothing but good times. You will be back. I know you are thinking about it right now.

Hi. Happy Easter... Miss you. wish I could reach out.... Wish even more you would reach out.

I want to respond to your email but I just don't see the point. So much has happened, I don't think we can ever get back to where we were and I don't think I could ever trust you to not hurt me again. Some people are just supposed to go their separate ways and it seems silly to reply to that in an email. I mean what's the point?

I still love you and miss you all the time. I want to forgive you... but I just can't. You left me just when I needed you most. You did things you knew would hurt me and you just gave up on us and there was nothing I could do. For all those reasons and more, I can never trust you. I wish I could just get on with my life.

I can't explain it but for the past few days you are just with me.... Maybe it's because Labor day just passed and all those old feelings are familiar to this time of year. I am just trying to keep moving forward. It's hard to accept all that has happened and although I am thinking of you more these days, I just keep coming back to my first reaction when we broke up.... I can't forgive you. I can never forgive you. In time maybe I will be different but even now, the anger is still so close to the surface. I am so relieved that I haven't seen you and I have no expectations to ever talk to you again. The hurt and embarrassment is all that remains of you. Many times, I try to think of your good qualities and what made me love you so... but I realize now you are a bad person... selfish and petty, low and weak. You repulse me. And I look forward to the day you are just gone....

I was surprised to get your emails. I can't respond because I've realized, that I don't want this crazy relationship to continue. You may hide behind wanting to return my stuff.... o yeah, you care so much that you return my stuff. Maybe you should have cared half as much about my feelings. You do hurtful things and hide behind "Im an ass", or "There's no good way to break up" But here's a newflash, there are kind ways of doing things because you care about the person and their feelings. BUt you are selfish and only want what you want, when you want it. So i won't ease your guilt, I won't let you be the "good guy" that wants to return my stuff. f off... truly.

My thoughts are all about you and our memorial day weekend last year... Remembering the wine festival, the boat ride, walking around the lake... and watching that storm from that beautiful restaurant... I loved that trip. Like our beach trip, it was such a good time. I loved our relationship and I am sorry it's over. I wish I would meet someone new. It's hard. I have been trying. It's not that we were so great, I think you dumping me, proves we weren't, but sometimes being on a bad date is worse than no date. I miss you but I am going to be brave. You will never hear from me again. I won't let you hurt me again. Warm fuzzy memories aside, I honestly believe you may meet another great girl. You may meet 20, but you will ruin it every time. You just can't help it. There is something inside you that is hard to explain. Maybe it's your Dad and all those years of him saying you aren't good enough, that makes you think no one else is good enough. There are a lot of things that we both know were factors in the failure of our relationship. I will never understand why you didn't want to try to work them out... I really felt it was doable, but maybe that is the explanation. If you don't want to work through, then it can't be worked through. I think we try to make things seem more complicated than they are to make ourselves feel better. Like it wasn't me, it wasn't you, it was "XYZ" But I am not kidding myself, it's not all that complicated, you chose this. I have no choice but to go on and live the life I was meant to have without you.