gogol

Thanks for your reply nenez. I may have made it seem that she's a shy girl in my previous post. She is shy when it comes to opening up about herself. However, she is pretty outgoing with frieds. For example... Before we started going out. She would lift me up in the hall way. She has a little brother that she lifts. She claimed that she could lift me up to. I denied her ability to do so. Now, she does it pretty often. And she isnt timid at all. She has lots of friends and such. She gets along with people really well. Not sure if this changes anything. Again, thanks for the post.

Hello everyone, My problem is about a lack of public affection between me and my girlfriend. I'm a 10th grade male, turning 17 in October. I recently started my first relationship with a girl that I've known for over a year now. Our first month anniversery will be in a week. It is obvious to me that I am a shy guy and that I'm not a fast paced person when it comes to pushing forward in a relationship. Right now, I'm a bit confused on what she may be thinking. Before I get talking, I should say that she already turned 17 in early April and she's in the 11th grade. So, there is an irregular age and grade difference between us. Okay, to start this off, when we first started going out, there wasn't much change. There was very little PDA (Public Display of Affection) between us. However, it was obvious, to most people that knew us, that we liked eachother a lot for a long, long time. Anyways, she is a pretty shy girl too, at least when it comes to opening up about herslef. It wasn't until a few days into our relationship that we started looking like a couple. She and I were playing a playful little game of football afterschool with some other friends of ours. She sat on my lap, would tickle my feet (im very ticklish on my feet) and grab me when playing (she was on the other team, so she'd just grab me and say she was defending, lol). However, this PDA was only during football. Inside of school we did very little. Although there was little PDA in school, when we, [and are] online together, its completely different. We do this thing where we talk in the 3rd person, and this lets us to interact "physically". For example, i would say something like... "" ...and she often will respond with... Really affectionate stuff. This is just a small snipit of how we act online. We pretend to be camping, own our own house, and the such together online. Well, this period of little PDA lasted for a while[not online though. And during this time, spring break came around. I invited her over one day for break [it was planned, so she knew about it] for dinner, a movie, and to meet my parents. We had a great time and when my parents were out, watching their own movie, we looked really like a couple. My arm was around her, she was leaning over my shoulder, and we constatly were footsie'ing and tickling eachother. We both had a great time and she thanked me a million times for a great night. As spring break was going, she said that she really missed me. She said that she wished i was there so that we could snuggle. And I'm sure she ment it. I felt the same way. And, after a few days after our little date together, spring break finally ended. The first day back [this past Tuesday] she was more affectionate than ever, in person. We see eachother for 15 minutes before classes start in the mornings. Since she's there before I am, she waved me over when I arrived. She moved me back onto the wall and leaned on my stomach and rested her head on my chest. All of our friends were around and activally talking with the both of us. This was very different from how we normally were together. The whole day was like this. I'd sit on the floor, and she'd sit between my legs and rest my my chest. I laid down, and she placed her head on my chest. I believed that we reached a new milestone in our relationship. It didn't last though. Despite her saying that she really enjoyed it, that I was cumfy, and that i would get "extra snuggles tommarrow" we didnt snuggle together at all. I would walk behind her and hold both of her hands like I did the day before, expecting her to lean back onto me. But she didnt lean, and it seemed that she sort of walked out of it afer a few moments. Not really contributing to the closness. The same was for yesterday [thursday] and today [friday]. She says that I am a good looking guy. She likes my build and such. And I hit on every once in a while, so i dont think that my looks play a part in our lack of PDA. She is on her period right now. I've heard that PMSing can make a girl really affectionate sometimes. So that could be a possibility. But, right now, it seems to me that she's sort of "embarrassed" or uncomfortable about our difference in age and grade to be PDA'ing together. Little addition: The day that I asked her out, one of her closest friends [a senior] wrote me a note saying she [reffering to my new girlfriend] was happy that we are going our finally. She also wrote that my girlfriend has never been kissed [shes been with a few guys in the past] and that she [my girlfriend] said that she'd like to be kissed by me. We haven't kissed on the lips yet. But when we leave after school to go home we kiss eachother on the cheeks or forehead. Another little addition: My girlfriend finds me to be very sweet. She's said that I'm much different than other guys. And for that reason, she is attratcted to be and likes me so much.She was really sincier when she told me all this. Well, there it is. Im really not sure about all this. Any suggestions, comments, or advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

hi, quinny2424, pm me your AOL or MSN account name i was in a situation EXACLTLY the same as yours. from what you've said so far, its ECAXTLY the same. right now, this girl and i are going out, so i may be able to help.

hello, here is my advice. I would tell him again just how bad it makes you feel when he lies to you. tell him that it hurts and that you don't want to feel the pain anymore. if you like/love him still, tell him sol but tell him that you can't live with the uncertainty with him anymore. (things along these lines). after this, separate from him a little. tell him that you have broken up. if he has strong feelings for you, he will do anything to make you come back. this will let you see how he truly feels. after he does what he does (or doesnt do) then make your decision on wheather or not to give him another chance. hope this helps.

Okay, I'm a pretty shy guy. At least I am when it comes to starting conversations and asking girls out. There's this girl that I liked last year. And much to my surprise, she liked me (her friends told me out of nowhere). We've been kinda separate from eachother due to different classes first semister this year. This semister though, we have 2 classes together. We've gotten really close recently. I've been thinking on how I can ask her out. I finally came up with this really funny idea. Not sure if its any good. I need some advice. Okay, my bus gets to our school about 15-20 minutes before classes start. This is the time which I plan on asking her. She's always in this one classroom in the morning. She's usually doing homework, reading a book, or talking with some friends at this time. So, instead of interrupting her, I plan on just wispering in her ear "Can i see you in the hall for a minute?" After that, I'd go in the hall and wait for her to come. When she does, I will take her to a place in the hall with only a few people, so we can be as alone as possible. Now, im going to start to laugh a little, ease up the tension.After that, I'll say "I think you know what this is about." (she's going to know what this is about, there's some info that i haven't mentioned, but she'll know).Then, going to laugh again a but. I'll say how embarrassed I am. Ill also say "this is sooo lame...". Then im going to pick a red m&m out of one pocket and a green one out of the other (places there earilier). Then im going to recite the lines in the matrix, not exactly, with words that would fit this situation. It'll go something like "Now you have 2 choices. Take the red pill, and you go back to the room as if nothing ever happened. Take the blue pill, and you'll make me the happiest guy alive. It's you're choice" It'd be something along these lines. Is it any good? I know its soo lame, lol, but its something that I can do. I cant just say the words "will you go out with me" Any comments would help. Thanks.

hello dan1ecu, Like you, I am also new here. However I have browsed the fourms many times, just never posted anything really. First of all, I'd like to say that I am glad to see that you are a mature realistic guy. It is important to understand the difference between a crush/love and an infatuation with someone, and I am happy to see that you can tell the difference, even though its often difficult to detect. What brought me to post to your thread is because I had a similar situation last year (freshman year of highschool). My situation was/is a bit different than yours, but it shares the same goal (removing feelings). As a breif overview of what happened to me I'll say this... There was this girl that I really liked (was not infatuated with her). Anyways, I later found out that she liked me through a number of her friends. We got really close and were affectionate towards eachother. The day for me to actually ask her out came and due to complicated reasons, she couldn't. That day I was totally heartbroken and very depressed. Well, I was sitting by myself, in my own depression when one of her friends that was involved sat next to me. She really felt sorry for me (she really wanted us to go out with eachother) and she put her arms around me and put her head on my shoulder. This caused a instant infatuation with her because she "filled" the sense of aloneness that I had gotten. Anyways, I realized this infatuation and was able to remove it. I was only able to remove it because I still felt so strongly for the other girl. The area in which we are similar is your goal to remove your feelings for your infatuation and my goal to remove the feelings for the girl I asked out. This took time and was very difficult. I lost interest in most of my activities and was a real bore to my friends. I, however, have more hope with you because you have identified your feelings as being an infatuation. The methods that I used differed from the types of thoughts that I had. If, for example, I was at home and on the computer, and I started to think about her, I'd go to a humor site and watch some funny videos and try to laugh (a good one is link removed). Also, a mistake that I made was IM'ing her constantly. I was addicted to chatting with this girl. So, everytime I'd make any ground to recovery, I'd get right back down after a chat with her. The best method that I used was to try to gain ANY feelings for anyother girl. Be it looks or personality, if you can think about some other girl then you aren't thinking about your infatuation. I DO WARN HOWEVER, try to steer away from a relationship when you are still feeling in the dumps for your infatuation. This is how I gained my short infatuation (not through a relatonship, but through the desire for one). This is a problem for many people and its been given the term "rebounding". Also, try your best to have fun with friends. I am very lucky because for about a 6 month period, I was a total bum around my friends and I didn't loose them. It may be hard, but try to get out, play on the comp or anything that occupies your mind. You may find that your feelings toward your infatuation go away quicker than you may think. Hope this helps. And sorry for writing so much