luminousone

Got my son moved into the dorm- wow! It was an exciting day! The dorm is one of the newest on campus and has a lounge with couches and a microwave, a library, study rooms, study carrells, and the rooms are decent sizes! It is so posh... I was so worried about how we were going to pay for it but we got some amazing news today- My Son Got The JOB!!!!! He will be working on campus and will be maintaining computers for them. It is an absolute Godsend! So - the boys are with me this week, so my son packed up all of his stuff from his dads over the weekend and brought it over here. And that was handy because it meant we didn't have to buy a lot of stuff. But I had to help him pack some things from here too, and I went to pack some sheets. When we got to his room, he was trying to make his bed and we discovered I only packed fitted bottom sheets, lol. So I have to make a trip over there in the next few days. Tomorrow I am subbing at my son's school so I had better get to sleep...

Well, tomorrow I take my son to move into the dorm! It is only accross town, but he is excited. And I am excited for him! Sadly we may not be able to pay for the dorm experience the whole year - it's all just so expensive... But at least he can start out that way. I went to volunteer at my younger son's school and they have me organizing some books for the reading groups. I made a sign out chart tonight on my computer and tomorrow I have to count and number them all. I won't have much time to work on it tomorrow, except maybe after my son moves into the dorm. It is still raining here- and now we need to acclimate to the cooler weather. Busy week for me, as I have meetings every night this week. My younger son is doing well in school and actually seems to be enjoying the work! I imagine that will wear off soon...

One son home with very soggy camping equipment- but he had fun. Other son home with boxes of stuff from his dad's house. Some of it for college and I think he had to clear his room out anyway since his dad is moving. Stuff everywhere... Sigh... But it is good the boys are back.

Well my cleaning project is slow going, but I have 2 huge garbage bags of clothes to donate and I filled up half the recycle bin with old files and papers I no longer need. Spent much of the day shredding papers... And folding laundry. And sorting out old clothes. Tomorrow I will keep at it after I get back from church.

I woke up this morning at 4 because it was POURING down rain and it was so loud that it woke me up. My cat was out all night and I heard her desperate meow at the back door. She was so drenched! I wiped her down with a towel and she is all curled up and cozy in her fuzzy bed. Today I have much cleaning and decluttering to do at home. I will also go to the farmer's market to stock up on veggies, but I won't need as much food since my older son will be going to university on Tuesday! Wow! I did all of the laundry to make sure his stuff is ready to go- at least from my house. Monday will be a busy day! My younger son is the patrol leader at his scouts and on the way to the campout he was filling out the "duty roster" so they would all be assigned to cooking and cleaning this weekend. He was being very thoughtful as he filled it out- he was trying to put the boys on tasks he thought they were good at. He put himself on cooking the eggs for both days, but I reminded him that he should make sure he signs himself up for equal cleaning duties so that no one would feel picked on. He did listen to me and in the end he decided to get input from them on what they would want to do. I am proud of him. This is the same boy that had behavior issues this summer and challenged my parenting skills at every turn! Adolescence is a strange creature. Okay now, first breakfast and then focus on my house today. I want to get the house organized!

Oh my- here I was complaining about the heat last week but today it was pouring down rain and quite chilly. In fact, I had my wool socks on today! Got my son off on his campout - in the rain - and they are going up into the mountains so I guess there is a very real chance of a bit of snow. Or at least cold weather. One of the dads said it could get down in the twenties tonight! My son took his lightweight down bag (only rated for 40's) but also a fleece bag liner. I sure he will be fine. They had a new boy go too- he literally just joined four days ago. When my son was packing he realized he had grown out of his long underwear and wool socks. Fortunately he has an older brother with all of that stuff! I wasn't sure what the new boy needed and was afraid he didn't pack cold weather stuff, so I gave him a fleece sweatshirt and the long underwear and wool socks and his mom was very appreciative. I also loaned to him a fleece bag liner but I need that back. I am sure they will have fun!

The class went well - good kids and they were cute. We got a lot more done than I had expected. My older son said he will hear about the job on Monday. Today he is helping his dad clean up some stuff on some property his dad owns- I guess some homeless had set up camp there and they are cleaning up the mess. I warned my ex to keep on top of it all summer and he didn't listen to me. It has been cold and rainy here! Such a difference from the hot weather I was complaining about! Glad to see the change in seasons. My younger son is going on a campout tonight and they called the boys to pack cold weather gear because there were snow flurries at the elevation they are going to be at this weekend. Hard to fathom! Today I have to organize some forms for the campout.

Hi Silver He lives with me half time and his dad half time. It worked really well up until now because my ex made a sincere effort to set limits with them. Right now my ex is distracted, so he has not been setting limits- but- he has had to do a lot of stuff with the kids this week due to their schedule and to his credit he has not complained to me about it (a first!). If my younger son does not like living over there then my door is open for him to be here full time. The boys chose living part time with their dad, and at the time I was getting cancer treatment and I wasn't sure how it would turn out. So once I was doing better I talked with them about it and they wanted to continue the way it is...

On a different note, my older son's interview went well he thinks! Don't know if he will actually get the job because there are older more experienced students they could choose from. But he knew most of the technical questions, and any questions he didn't know then he told them that and then guessed what he thought it would be and he was right each time. And it ends up that they know his former supervisor from the high school IT department! I hope he gets it, because he needs the extra money to get by through school and he also needs a confidence boost right now. Tonight I volunteered to teach some Boy Scouts about communication for their merit badge class. I have never done this, so I'll see how it goes. I think this will be a 4 week class. Yikes! This weekend is the last weekend for my older son before he goes to college. His dad is waiting for him to go and after he leaves for school then he and my younger son will be moving in with my ex's girlfriend next week. The house is very very small he said. So he basically told my older son that there is no room for him at the new house except for an occasional visit on a pull out cot. So now all of my older son's possessions will need to either go to college with him or be stored at my house. My heart hurts for my older son. He says he doesn't care, but it just makes me sad that they don't want him there. Originally my ex and his gf looked for a bigger house for all of them for about 9 months but they never could agree on a house. In the end she didn't want to sell or rent her house, and so that's why my ex and son are moving in there. He is going to rent out his house, which I think is a good idea because honestly I wonder if their relationship is going to last, considering the differences in opinion and reluctance to buy a house together. That way he (and my younger son) have a place to go if needed. In the meantime I guess I had better make room for some stuff coming my way.

That's what I wondered, but they gave me a syllabus and much of it is: anatomy and physiology, puberty, gender and diversity, sexual orientation, gender identity, relationships and relationship skills, friendships, dating and longterm commitments, "lovemaking is more than sex", conception, pregnancy, and birth, teenage pregnancy, abstinence, contraception, unintended pregnancy, std's, sexual abuse, sexual exploitation and how to set boundaries, sex and the media, harassment and acquaintance rape, respectful and healthy relationships, etc. The whole deal. My older son did the high school class and is very picky what he would participate in, especially because he views himself as an atheist. But they welcomed him and he really liked the class. He encouraged his brother to take the 8th grade one. It's a huge time commitment and my son already has scouts and church stuff at our own church, not to mention school, but I think it is worth it. Not sure whether his dad will support this because of the time commitment but I am determined to get him in it. My ex really does not supervise him much so my son is out and about with who knows who, and I want to instill some good sense and judgment in my son before he makes a drastic mistake.

Tonight I went to a two hour orientation meeting for parents of kids enrolled in the "Our Whole Lives" human sexuality and relationship class. I signed up my 8th grader and he is reluctant to go but honestly I signed him up anyway because he is so rebellious right now. What I didn't realize is that this class goes for 27 weeks!!!!!!! I am not sure he will be happy about this at first but I am determined that he participate. He needs it and I need him to take this class so I know he has a solid idea of respectful boundaries and of what is healthy and what isn't for someone his age. This is a comprehensive program sponsored by the Congregational Church and the Unitarian Church. They invited our church too. My older son went through it and I am very thankful...

Awesome, Itsallgrand! I have been reading books with the same themes and I can say it is very freeing! All of us are imperfect but if you focus on the good sides of each person then it seems to bring that out. A little like when you get a red car and all of a sudden you begin to see red cars all over the place- and before that you never noticed them. What you pay attention to will persist. And it is such a benefit for yourself, to be immersed in the light of forgiveness, loving kindness, and positive energy.

Honey crisp is similar to Pink Lady but a bit more tart. Enjoy your spring flowers!

Took the boys to their dad's for the week. They had much better behavior after a good night's sleep. Today was much cooler and a bit misty all day. It was so nice for a change! Fall weather is finally here, and it feels so nice to have the cooler weather! Today I heard and saw flocks of geese flying in formation in their migration up the south for the winter. Definitely a fall thing. Another indication of fall is the appearance in the store of fresh crisp apples newly harvested. I bought some Honey Crisp variety, and they are sweet and a bit tart, and juicy and crunchy. They are so good!

And I am up for the day- have to go to a fundraiser this morning early. Wish I would have been able to get more sleep... Later, a sincere but stern talk with each of my boys is in order. Sheesh! They are two stubborn kids...

Silence, sweet silence... They worked it out

Aargh My boys are fighting over whether to close the door or not while sleeping. The younger one wants it closed and the older one wants it open. Now they are wrestling. Now my older one took it off the hinges and stole the door so the younger one is taping a blanket up. It is after midnight here and I want my sleep, boys... All these years and they've never really fought! They are both stubborn...

My day was a good one. The temperature was perfect! It only got up to 79 Fahrenheit which is perfect in my book! I volunteered in my sons school again today and I helped stuff all of the handouts to go home today. It feels a bit awkward because I wasn't chosen for the position I applied for, but I do have to volunteer 40 hours this year there, so I have to just get over it. The volunteer coordinator specifically asked for me to come in, so that part made me feel good. So, I did have fun and I got to know two women I hadn't known before. And I got some volunteer hours under my belt.

I'm so excited for my son- he has an interview for a great job on campus, helping to maintain staff computers. There were 70 applicants for the last position that was similar to this, and he did get interviews for it but in the end they didn't choose him. Hope they see his worth! But even if he doesn't get it, he should be proud of having been asked to come in for an interview out of all this applicants.

Today was so hot. I did some errands at home this morning and then got an email asking for volunteer help at my son's school office. All of the teachers were coming in on their breaks and describing how slumpy the students were because of the heat. The copy machine room has air condition, so a lot of copies were made today,

Giving him pop and candy- so typical. I have tried to explain the chemicals in pop, but the boys are given pop by their dad- and especially with caffeine, just before dropping them off at my house. And of course they then have a difficult time sleeping.

Today was better THANK GOODNESS! My son had his first day of school. He said it was boring because they are doing team building projects instead of schoolwork. Lol. I think he will be complaining once the schoolwork hits... He was so tired after last night's fiasco that he fell asleep in the car on the way home. He got to bed earlier tonight and he was much more respectful in his conversation with me today. Sometimes when he comes from being at his dads then he will challenge me and the house rules, and will be belligerent. And then he settles in to our routine. Sigh. So hot here - I am waiting for fall weather!

Thanks for the reassurance, Silver! I am going to need it! He moaned and groaned all day today because he was grounded. But in the end he found my guitar (dusty from being unused) and figured out some chords and pouted a bit. Tomorrow he starts school - thank goodness! He was a royal pill tonight when I made him go to bed. He is still awake apparently and he has locked his bedroom door- which will be interesting when my older son wants to go to bed, since they share a room! But I know how to pick such locks... Lol, my older son was trying to coach him through the power struggle telling him to appreciate all that I do for him... I just wish his dad would set some limits with him. It is so difficult to be the one to set the limits and be the bad guy... And so I get these temper tantrums when he comes from his dads for the week. He has a great teacher for school- his teacher has high standards for my son, both academically and behavior wise. And he is a passionate teacher and my son likes him and does well with him. Tomorrow my older son and I will work on my computer (my computer expert will be going off to college soon!). And we will organize his stuff for college. My ex is in the process of moving in with his girlfriend- into a very small house. Essentially he had told my older son that there is no room for him there, so once they move there will not be a room or a bed or any place for his stuff. So on breaks, my older son will probably be staying with me. It makes me sad that he is doing that to one of his children. My other son will have his own room and a big tv and PS3 in the bedroom- his dad is bribing him. Which might explain the defiant behavior... The girlfriend is actually very nice to the boys, so I have no complaints there. She understands step situations because she has been divorced twice. It was very hot today here- in the upper 80's. I am ready for cooler days and fall weather! My walking friend and I took a walk through the local university campus and they are gearing up for the new students to come in a week or two. Now that fall has hit- so have the meetings and obligations. I will miss having time to work on my house but will continue to try to fit it in when I can.

OMG this teenager is giving me a run for my money. He was supposed to be home by 7. His dad let him go all day and I don't think he even knew where he was exactly. His dad was supposed to make the drop off of the boys to my place at 7 and I would have been fine if they were late because I had a meeting to go to anyway. But I didn't want my son out on his bike that late and I didn't want him riding home in the dark. So his dad told him he had to be at my home by seven. At twenty till he texts me to see if he could go to a birthday party from 8-11:30 tonight at some dance studio (he didn't even know the name of have place or the full name of the girl having the party). I told him I needed to speak with an adult in charge and addresses and phone numbers and names. And if I would even consider it I needed that first. Instead he decides to see if he could stay at someone's house overnight (someone I don't know). Again I said I needed to speak with an adult and so names addresses and phone numbers were important. And I had a meeting to go into where I was expected to take minutes. So I said no and I expected him to get home right away before it got dark. When I got out of the meeting it turns out that he went to the party anyway and expected me to come get him and his bike because it was 8:30 by then. I am so mad. Bike is going to be locked up for a while. He is grounded. No phones no iPod no computer, nothing! And he stays home this week. And I will drive him to and from school- and he will be embarrassed but hopefully it will make an impression. So- when I went to pick him up (he finally got the address) it was in a yoga studio that I have been to before. Essentially it was a middle school dance. There was an adult manning the downstairs door but when I went upstairs there were no adults in the dance. Eventually I found him. But what was disturbing to me was that kids were hanging out in the parking lot and going in and out of the party freely. Just milling around. And then when we had a conversation about the party it turns out that the girl whose birthday it was for, does not even know my son directly but when he asked her if he could come via social media then she said yes and he can bring friends too. What were her parents thinking?! Essentially it was an open party to the public. I didn't see any activity other than kids dancing or doing normal hanging out however. This happens to be in a rich part of town and I had always heard a generalization that kids over there tend to be over priviledged and somewhat snooty. My son is a wannabe. And of course he won't ever bring those friends over to my house because he is ashamed of how humble it is. How on earth did my son get to be this way? He used to be so sweet and caring. Now he is acting so spoiled. Aargh! I really will need to use my very best parenting skills and he is challenging me every step of the way. Okay rant over on that son. My other son went camping this weekend with his buddies but yesterday he walked in the door and said they got bored so they came home. Lol. I have one son who lives to party and the other one gets bored camping. So his friends were giving him a ride and he told them to wait in the driveway while he took a shower and then they would go on to a friend's house. Technically my son was supposed to be at his dad's all this week so I was amused that he came to my place to take a shower. Anyhow he said he would go to his dads after he was done at his friend's. But- at 1:40 am I was startled to find him standing in my bedroom saying he decided to sleep here at my house and his sheets weren't on the bed. Sheesh! I said that he could make his own bed! He didn't want to make his friend drive farther away to drop him off at his dads, so I had a surprise visit. Lol. Now the boys are here for the week. I'm already exhausted and they just got here. School starts here on Tuesday (for my younger son) because of budget cuts. Honestly, what parent schedules a late night teenage party 2 days before school starts. Oh, I guess I'm still ranting. Okay time to focus on good things. I had some really great kids in my Sunday school class this morning. It's going to be a great year! These kids are so cute and they did great! One of my 5th graders was reading books to the little ones that were waiting for their class to start accross the hall. They were so cute! Church seemed so vibrant today, and seems like we have some new families that joined recently. My best friend drove a few hours to my city so she could celebrate Rosh Hashanah at a local synagogue near me and although she went to services night and day for much of the week, she really wanted to do a garage sale on Saturday with me because she had stuff to sell. Even though I already had one a month ago, I still had some stuff left over and it was all marked so I went ahead and put another one on. I didn't make as much this time around but still made a decent penny. My friend sold almost all of her stuff so I was glad for her. She is a substitute teacher so she had no income during the summer and her first paycheck won't be until October if she even works this month. A lot of work. I was so exhausted! But maybe we will do it again next summer... My cat's skin condition seems to be improving with her medication so I am glad of that. Her ears got all crusty again so I had to start up the medication again. And then it takes two weeks for the meds to work. Tomorrow a friend will be at her shell of a house to help "harvest" usable windows and doors so that they can be used in a new village for the homeless. Then on Tuesday the house will be torn down, making way for a new structure. In the end the foundation was in such bad shape that it was cheaper for her to tear it down and rebuild it - she had tried to have it remodeled but that contractor used up all of her money pretending to work on her house and she was taken for a lot of money. And she won't get it back. So sad. In the meantime her aunt died and left her some money so she is going to build a new house with a reputable architect. It won't be fancy but just a basic two bedroom house - but she lives with a cat and a dog so that's all the room she needs.

I forgot to say that my younger son went camping with his grandpa last week and I had to leave to run my other son to the doctor. His grandpa was on the way so I told him to be sure to lock the door when he left with his grandpa. When we got back from the appointment 1 1/2 hours later, the door was wide open! I guess we are very lucky that they didn't hit our house then.