luminousone

I had to take some papers for taxes over to my ex the other day (we are still business partners). While I was knocking at the front door I heard him talking to someone, and saying "Hey, Lumi is here with some papers for me, so I have to sign off." When I went in, he had an online video game on and he was putting away his headphones and microphone. I didn't ask who he was talking to, but it would not have been his gf because she works during the day. And it had to be someone that knows about me or he would not have said my name. Now we have not been together for almost 5 years, and his current gf is a very sweet person. I am happy he found someone that I don't mind being around our sons- she is very level headed and good with them. I just had this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that the woman he left me for, 5 years ago, might have been the one he was gaming with... It's not my business. But if that is the case then he is pulling the same stuff with this gf that he was with me. Makes me glad I am not with him anymore... On another note- my cat friend was gone from here for a day and it has been pouring down rain here. I was hoping he found his way home, so I called his owner and said he had come by my place the day before and that I hoped he had found his way home again. She said he had not, but that she would really look for him on Sunday because she had finally made an appointment to have him neutered on Monday. She's had him for a year and he never had his shots either. He came in last night about midnight all wet and bedraggled from the rain. I think he looked a bit beat up from a cat fight too, because he had tufts if fur coming out. He left again, but came back this morning at 6, and he is sacked out on my bed at the moment. Such a sweet cat- and I am glad the young woman is finally taking responsibility for him. It is clear that he considers this one of his homes as well as her place. I wonder if he has other homes on his circuit, lol...

Hilarious! Just was woken up out of a sound sleep by a cat jumping up on my bed. And it is not my cat! I guess my visitor found his way back to my cat door and he has settled in for a good sleep on my bed. His name is Jables, but his owner said she mostly called him Mister. Silly cat!

Well I figured out the right phone number for the owner of the stray cat. She had put the wrong number on the signs! And even though the boys and I really liked this cat, and he even was getting along with our cat, I really knew he was a beloved member of someone else's family. A young woman came and got him today. I gave her the number for a place that does neutering for $30. She's had him for a year and has not even got him his shots. Hopefully she will care for him. On a different note I was called in to sub as a classroom assistant in a middle school classroom today. I was a bit nervous but it was actually fun! The day went fast and the kids were great.

I had a cat for about ten years that had adopted our family. He started living under our deck, so we called him Dexter. The vet said he was about 5 when we got him, and he was sure a sweet natured boy. But this past year he got sick, and was unable to eat very much and he began to drool. The vet took some tests and he had an over active thyroid. We put him on thyroid medication for 5 months, but even that did not help much and he got so skinny and his fur began to fall out. Finally 3 weeks ago I took him in to be euthanized. I hated playing God but I hated him suffering. And so we said our goodbyes and now he is gone. While I miss him, I know it was the right decision. He was really suffering. I have another female cat that is about 4 years old. She was dumped off at a neighbors house shortly after Halloween. They were going to take her and dump her somewhere else, but I took her instead. She is also very sweet! The first week Dexter was gone , she wandered around the house and was very clingy with me. Well, the day after Dexter was gone, a new stray showed up by the deck. My cat chased him off and I figured that was the end of it. Then I began to notice that the cat food was going down faster than normal- so I figured that the stray cat found the cat door. Then one night there was some yowling so I opened the back door to let my cat in. The stray cat saw me and came and meowed at the back door. And then it was raining so I felt so bad for it! But of course we already have a cat, and they weren't getting along. Next night- raining and cold. He stood out there meowing again! I had some special food left over from Dexter, so I gave him some of that food. He is such a nice cat! So one night I was awakened by a cat fight in my bedroom! Apparently he had found the cat door and wanted to jump on my bed, only to be met with my cat- who didn't appreciate the visitor in his territory! And she chased him out. Well, I knew when I fed him then I take responsibility...I continue to feed him. But he wants to be part of the family! Through time he would meow outside the door and she would be growling at him on the other side. She (Callie) was basically afraid and I think he is afraid of her! A week went by and he did not use the cat door. But I started to let him in for a bit. As long as he stayed far away from Callie, she was fine with it. One morning I found him sleeping in the living room chair. Now they are coming to some kind of peaceful cohabitation -as long as he respects her space. The past few nights she has slept on one end of my bed and he slept on the other end. Walking around the neighborhood I saw a sign up with his picture saying he is missing. I texted the number. No response. I texted again. No response. I called and left a few messages. Nothing! Until yesterday. Finally after almost two weeks of trying to contact the owner, I received the return call. It was a wrong number!!! This lady called from out of state and she has never had a cat, and so that's not her number. I walked down the street to the sign to make sure I had written the right number. And I had... Soooo... I am not sure what else to do. I would live to keep him, but he needs to be neutered, and probably needs shots. I did give him flea medicine- because it was time for Callie's treatment. I guess I could put a note on the sign that it is the wrong number? The longer he is here, the more he bonds with us. Anyway, I suspect I have a new cat. He has a deformed tail but other than that he seems very healthy. I have not named him because I view him as someone else's cat. He was just visiting here during spring break, lol. But my boys came home from their dads house and named him Tails. I told them that was not nice to call attention to his disability. I have to think of a better name. Anyway, that's what has been going on at my house, among other things...

Fun fun (sarcasm here...) I have a flat tire... Getting it fixed now. Very thankful for AAA!

I decided to start this as a place to park my hodgepodge of thoughts and what's going on in my life. Had a great Easter yesterday- I had to drive a few hours to the airport to pick my son up from his trip to France and Spain. He had a great time and it seems like he grew up over night! It was so great to have both boys home and with me. Since I had them for Easter, I asked them what kind of meal they wanted and I went and bought the groceries for a nice Easter dinner. Then I get a text from my ex, saying his mom and dad are inviting me and the boys to Easter brunch at their house. Well I didn't really want to go because my ex and his gf would be there. But the boys wanted to go and they wanted me to come. So I told them I would drop them off, pop in to say hi to friends and ex's family, then pick them up later. It took a lot of courage. But Despite that, I actually had fun! My ex and his gf sat on the other side of the room, although at one point his gf complemented a necklace I was wearing. It was fun to catch up with people I essentially have not seen in 4 years since the breakup. Oh the things I do for my sons... Well afterwards I made that nice dinner and we had it by candle light- just before I had to take them to their dad's for the week.

Hi JN! I am thankful today for my 94 year old dad's recovery from emergency surgery a few weeks ago. Thankful for my older son's sense of humor Thankful my younger son has great friends through the church youth group Thankful for all of the birds singing this morning

Oh yes, that reminds me that I am thankful that I fixed my phone too!

1. My son finished his senior paper and just turned it in!!! Woo hoo! He was supposed to be working on it since last year... Thankful he finally got it done... 2. Had a difficult Bible passage in my Sunday school lesson today with the kids and I worried about how it would go. But those kids are so insightful and thoughtful, and I am grateful to have each and everyone in my class. It went fine 3. So thankful that our pastor came back after 3 months maternity leave. I am also grateful that her son is okay and healthy. It was touch and go for a month after he was born. He is such a cutie! 4. Grateful to have my sons for the week 5. Grateful for sweet cats that compete for my lap now that the weather is cooler

So thankful for- 1. A great walk today with a friend 2. Rain that nourishes the earth 3. Health insurance 4. A cancer free body 5. My sons

Today I am thankful for: 1. Good doctors, physicians assistants, nurses, lab techs, and others who help with my health care. 2. Support from my older son regarding my rellious preteen 3. My sons' schools and awesome teachers! 4. Love and support from friends and family near and far 5. God's loving and healing white light, surrounding me and filling me 6. My inlaws

So very grateful for: 1. A beautiful glowing sunrise 2. A great walk and talk with a friend in the woods today 3. Two clean bathrooms 4. Fresh sweet cherry tomatoes 5. My son has an awesome teacher! 6. fresh clean air 7. My very comfortable hiking boots 8. Sweet meditative music filling me with peace, light and love

Thank you Journeynow! I've been inspired by your gratitude! Today I am thankful for: 1. The most beautiful sunrise, with huge clouds in the east and the sun coming up directly behind them. The sun outlined the clouds in pure "gold". Quite an awesome sight. 2. A great walk with a friend today 3. My son who is starting to show some depth and maturity 4. My younger son's passionate teacher 5. Cool fresh air this morning 6. My warm cat snuggled up to me

So thankful for 1. Warm days and cool nights 2. Good doctor's report 3. The cute kids I teach 4. Beautiful hikes 5. Wise friends

Hey, I am grateful for your gratitude thread! I used to have a gratitude journal when I was going through a divorce AND breast cancer at the same time... phew... I am very very grateful that both of those issues are done. I am also very grateful for my two wonderful sons that challenge me to be the very best mom/person I can be Tonight I am grateful for: A belated birthday dinner both of my sons made for me (ages 16 and 12...) Some summer rain to nourish our earth and: A wonderful but short walk today with a great friend and her happy dog... Thanks for asking!

Can't believe you did not even look my way today, or even acknowledge my presence, or even have our son say goodbye when you left. So strange... I just don't understand how you can be so unattached after 22 years together... It does not seem as if you miss me one tiny bit. I just cannot understand it. But day by day I am healing, and eventually I will be focusing on a new and healthier more respectful relationship with someone who is much more honest with himself and who has his life together and who will not blame his unhappiness all on me...

Well I met your new gf today and she seems sweet, but then so am I? Perhaps she is wondering also why you would walk away from a 22 year relationship/marriage... I wonder also if you started going out with her just because you were lonely and she happened to be there to fill the emptiness... I worry about our sons bonding with someone that you are not serious about. I so wish our family were not broken up, and I truly prefer to be with our sons to be their mother and not at the expense of time with their dad... Why does it have to be either/or?? If you had not walked away, they would still have an intact family. I am, however, relieved to be away from your anger and accusations and paranoia. I look forward to meeting a man who is self assured, honest, caring, loving, and who really makes an effort to get to know who I am, rather than focusing on himself... Good luck to your new gf... but then perhaps she will bring out the best in you.

A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson and The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes

Breakfast With Buddha by Roland Merrullo Very funny with great bits of wisdom...