timber___27

do you get the feeling they are trying to tell us something? Relax and be calm - ever try to catch an excited dog? it just plays with you and runs away, knowing you will chase it again. that's the fun part. but if you are calm and quite, the dog will come right up to you and sit in your lap. must relax.

My new favorite saying is perfect for you - "We persue that which retreats from us." - hang back, make her think that your fine without her, and she will come back to you.

I have been having a hard time recently dealing with loosing my gf. Since I can't stop thinking about ways to win her back, a friend of mine pulled me aside and told me a little saying that I have never heard before: "We persue that which retreats from us." - at first it didn't make any sense to me, but then I thought about it. Who is the person we all want to be with the most. the person who rejected us or left us, and is now unavaliable to us. They are retreating from us. No matter the reason, they are retreating. My advice to everyone. Stop perusing, do'nt be so avaliable. I know my ex knows I still care for her, and that she want to be my friend. Partially for her own conscience. But I also know that if I retreat from her, even a little, it will plant a seed that "Maybe he doesn't need me." then let her own imiganation go wild with that. Think about it, and I hope it helps some of you.

When I saw her last, I didn't go there with the intention of asking her to take me back, I just wanted to see her again, and talk to her. Recently she told me that she is considering moving to the town where I live for a new job. I asked her, when she moves to town, if there was a chance that she would let me take her out and show her what kind of date I can be. You see, we never really dated. We had an internet friendship, that turned into a long distance relationship, then I moved to Vancouver, and she moved in with me. Then, about 1 year later, for various reasons, homesickness, inmaturity, family issues, she moved back to where she is from. not long after that, I moved back to where I am from. And that is where we still are. That was over a year ago now. I asked her if I did anything to or didn't do anything to cause her feelings to change, and she said no. So, I then asked her if she could even consider letting me back into her life, and she said that she couldn't even consider letting me in. But she still expects me be able to be a friend, let her tell me about her new bf, and wonder why I get upset when she does. I still love her so much - how do i deal with this.

Ok, here's the thing. I just came back from seeing my ex yesterday - she lives out of town. She is with a new guy for all of 4 weeks. She is going camping with him at local festival until at least monday. When I saw her, I basically told her that I wanted a second chance, we were together for over a year, and have a 5 year history together. I am deperate to call her and talk to her, but at the same time, I want her to come to me. I am going to have to play the space game. give her he space, let her have time to miss me. The good thing, is that I am forced to give her space right now, because she is not at home. But I am scared that when the weekend is over, I will be so tempted to call her that I will mess everything up. Right now, we are pretty good friends. We don't talk everyday, but I can tell that she is trying to be a friend, but she knows exactly how I feel about her. My feelins have not changed since we dated. Any advice would be great...

Okay, here it is. I met my gf online and we started talking on the phone. She lived about 5 hours away and things were going great. since neither one of us wanted to do the long distance thing, we agreed to be able to see other people, but get together when ever we could. And we did, and when we did, it was awsome. Not long after, she got a bf, that lasted 3 months. I got jellous and didn't tell her. When they broke up, I realized that I needed her and told her I had feelings. The feelings were mutual. We got together serveral times and even did the long distance thing. I am an actor and got a chance to work in Vancouver (yes, I am Canadian, and so is she.) so I moved to Vancover, and a couple months later, she moved out. After never having offically dated each other, we were not living together. I loved it. to be able to work and have her there, I couldn't ask for more. She on the other hand. she was miserable. She hatted the job she found, and I could tell that things were not quite right. Not long after she moved in, the job I was working on finished, but I got another job. A "Real" job that took me away most days and some evenings. This went from July to the following June. That June, she said that she needed to go home for a 3 week visit to be with her family and get her batteries re-charged. That 3 week visit, turned into a 3 month visit. When she came back, I know now after almost 2 years, she was basically trying to see if she wanted to be with me or in vancouver, or both, or neither. Well, by October, she was gone back her home town. I moved home to my home town, miserable a month later. I still believed that we were a couple and we acted as such until last aug. That was the last time we got togerther as a couple. She came into my town (5 hours drive) for her sisters wedding, in October, and apparently met someone special. She told me about it almost imidiatly. That broke my heart. Since she said that her feelings for me had changed gradually over the last year to 18 months, but never told me. I knew something was up, but when I asked her about it, she would say that she was just tired and such. The relationship with the new guy didn't last long, maybe Janurary or february, basically, she asked him if he saw a future with her, and he said not as long as she stayed where she was. This broke her heart, and she called me to cry to me. between then and now, we have gotten to be pretty good friends again, and have started to recover a level of trust. that was until I think I may have screwed things up. She is now seeing another guy, one in my town, and she is considering moving here, live with her sister and get a job. Also, to be closer to this new guy. She has been seeing him for about a month, and she says that she loves him. Well, I went up to see her yesterday, and basically asked her, since your thinking about moving into town, would you consider letting me show you how I could date you. I know most women date more than one guy. She said no, she didn't want to mess up what she could have with this new guy. I asked her what she currently felt for me, and she said that she looks at me as a friend. My thought: "excuse to cover your guilt." She basically totaly denied herself the thought of even considering trying to see me a date, rather than an ex. This is my question... has anyone been in this situation before? Is it possible to get her to see me again as she once did? I know that we will always be friends, but what she is asking me to do, is almost imposible. She is asking me to be her friend, while knowing full well, that I am still in love with her. And she talks mostly about her new bf. Now, before you go and totally destroy her, let me say this. She is sweetest, most loving and sensitive girl I have ever known. I miss the small things with her, holding her while watching a movie, kissing her neck, watching her eyes light up when she gets flowers. we lived together for over a year - and were together as a long distance couple for a year before that. we have almost 5 years of histroy together. A friend who reads Tarot cards told me that she is my soul mate. She also said that she still loves me, but is blinded by the infatuation for this new guy. Any advise would be great. Thanks for reading...