scaredtodeath

I would give it a little time to make sure that you are late because of stress or something else. Also, before you talk to him, if it doesn't come, take a test to be sure. If he contacts you, just be honest that you're late and let him know you'll tell him one way or the other once it's definite. And then go back to NC until you know. I really hope everything works out the way you want it to.

I know exactly how you feel- I still look sometimes if I think he won't catch me. It's a horrible habit, and it does nothing to make your relationship stronger. I sat my bf down one night, and told him about how that whole part of his life bothers me. He let me say what I wanted to say, and then I signed a contract to both of us saying I wouldn't bring her up again, wouldn't look at her livejournal anymore, and would basically allow him to not have to relive that part of his life. That helped me out a lot because I didn't want to let him down or break my promise to him, and it's made our relationship a lot better. And about his mom having pictures- my boyfriend's mom called me by the ex's name the first time I met them. OUCH! They dated for two years when they were in high school, and we're way away from home at college, so I'm not an everyday thing in her life, which makes me feel better about it, but it really sucked. If it makes you feel any better, people change as they grow, and more often than not, they become better people. He's learned since her and he nows how to act in a relationship and things are probably better for you and him than they ever were between the two of them. Who he is now, is better than who he was when they were dating. I more than likely would not have dated my bf if I met him during the time they were dating. And being 19, he's probably a heck of a lot sexier now than he was then- much more manly! It's hard to think that someone you love once cared about someone else. It hurts, but he's not with her anymore. He's with you. Because he loves you and because you're special to him. Don't forget that. He picked you.

I've tried a few different places, but nobody wants to focus on that. My whole life changed, I changed. That relationship destroyed who I was and who I wanted to be. Right now, I'm halfway to a bachelor's degree and planning out my master's. To put things in perspective, if I had not gotten out of that relationship, i would have 3 children by now, live in a trailer park and would have not gone to college. He didn't want to go, so I wasn't going to either. That's not what I want. I want to be filthy rich, and own a great big house and lots of cars and fancy clothes, and I want to earn that. I want to work my butt off and be able to look back at all the things I've accomplished and be proud of what I've done. But I can't, because that holds me back. And I know it sounds silly, but right now, my biggest dream is to go shopping on Rodeo Dr and actually buy something. And I can't believe I'm admitting that.

He knows I'm scared, and he's promised that if this guy ever shows up, he'll make sure it's the last. He's coming home with me over spring break, and in some weird way, I want Daniel to show up. I want to stand in my front yard and scream at the top of my lungs for all the world to hear that he isn't welcome here and the next time he contacts me, he'll be dealt with in some legal manner. All I want is to escape my past. I've tried so hard to run from it, so hard to not be that person any more, and it's not fair to me for him to be holding on after so long. What did I do that has kept his interest two and half years after breaking up? I thought I was the only one that was that scared. Everyone I've talked to (parents, bf, family friends) thinks I'm being a little melodramatic, but I'm not. Some people really are that awful, and I'm glad the people I've talked to haven't ever dealt with something like this before. I've had dreams of him coming over and doing god-awful things to me and then dreams where I went and found my daddy's gun and shot him. Killed him. Made him suffer like he's made me suffer. I don't think I could actually do that, but I would love for him to feel half of what I've felt. And the thing is- he knows what he did was wrong. One of the times he IMed me was to apologize for the way he treated me. I told him I appreciated that (it really helped me get a little closer to being better) and that he needed to let me get my life together and in order without him in it. And I thought that was the end. I thought we both got that closure. I guess not. I do go to a psychiatrist and when I mentioned the relationship, and what happened in it, he scribbled something down and that was that. All we ever talk about is small talk type stuff- how classes are going, how nice it's getting outside, food, that sort of thing. Whatever happened to ink blots and laying on couches?

That's awful! I'm really glad you got away from that, and I honestly hope nothing like that ever happens to you again.

I've kind of alluded to my current bf about what happened between the ex and I , but we kind of both dislike hearing about past relationships, so he doesn't want to listen. I can't tell my parents, and I guess it's silly, but I promised my mom I wouldn't have sex unless she bought me birth control and then I did it anyhow. She knows now, kind of. She thinks it was the current guy. I severed all ties with everyone back home because that relationship was controlling and so unbelievably far beyond unhealthy and even after I broke up with him, I never rebuilt any of those friendships. So when I go home, no, there's really no one. And I know it's irrational, but everytime I see his car, I tense up and start to freak out- hard time breathing, crying, that sort of thing. I'm scared he's going to wind up down here looking for me. I guess that makes me kind of crazy, huh?

I once heard that no matter how jealous you get, if someone is going to cheat on you, they will do it. They obviously don't care how you feel if they cheat, so it makes no difference to them how jealous you get. All jealousy is is a waste of energy and sanity. I used to be incredibly jealous, but after hearing that, I realized how true it is. Why should I try so hard to keep someone with me if they really don't want to be? I think talking it out with the person that creates the jealous feelings is the best thing to do. Let them know how you feel, and why, and maybe they can ease your worrying.

I dated this guy back in high school for 17 months. It was a bad relationship- he was verbally abusive, and took my virginity from me (We tried and it hurt so I said stop and he said it would be fine and kept going. That isn't me saying yes!) I finally realized it would be the best thing for me to get rid of him, so I broke up with him. That was the beginning of my senior year, in October of 2004. I had a hard time getting over him. I don't really remember if we talked very often or not, I'm pretty sure we didn't because my parents didn't allow it. Looking back, I should have listened to them earlier. In late March of 2005, we went on a date. The next Monday, at school, he explained it was not going to be the hold-hands-walk-to-class-together type relationship we used to have. I told him that wasn't good enough, and crushed my own heart again. I'm now in school in Mississippi- home is North Carolina. He hunted me down, found my screenname for AIM and contacted me. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him. Several times, his sister, mom and him have all contacted me, trying to get me to get back together with him. I'm terrified of this guy. I don't even want to think of the things he'd do to me. Over summer break, I was worried that I'd be home alone and he'd come over to the house. Everyone thought I was crazy, that I was overexaggerating. Guess who showed up while I was alone? Luckily, I was in the front part of the house, by the grace of God, and realized it was him and hid. I went and crawled under the table and cried like a baby. His sister found my on facebook and sent me this message, please excuse any typos, this is a direct copy: hay .. i thought id send u a quick email... if ur currently not seeing anyone and are still interested in daniel, let me know... he was at my house sun and i was going through pictures... i found some of u and some of u and him and when he seen them he took them from me.... daniel is still in love with u.... he hasnt seemed to be happy since yall broke up... i know hes dating hilary now, but its not as serious as she makes it seem.... he aint really into her.... daniel still wants you.... im sick of seeing daniel not happy and seeing him misrable... i know damn well if u came around hed say * * * * her and shed be history...... i just was wondering if u were seeing someone or if ur single and are interested in daniel still... my mom and i have talked and shes said that shed love for yall to get together..... u were his first and only love.... please email me back here or at ******@link removed thanks.. michelle And I firmly, but politely replied back: I don't want anything to do with him. I want him out of my life, and I have told him that. Please just leave me alone. I just don't feel like this is enough. I'm dreading going home for anything because I know he's going to be there. I just wish I could get him out of my life. It's not normal for a mother to be so concerned with her grown son's romantic life, or for the whole family to be determined for the relationship to rebuild itself. His mother told me it was okay to have sex. My parents are wait until marriage type people. His mom lost her virginity when she was 17 and his dad was 11! She said it was okay for us to have sex, and bought us condoms. She also used to buy me cigarettes at 15 years old and allow her 16 year old son to drink with her and play drinking games with her. I hate that family, I hate everything about every single one of them, and I want them out of my life. I don't know how though. "I want you out of my life" didn't seem to work because the sister emailed me. I feel unsafe, and threatened and nobody knows that I have justification, in my mind at least, because nobody really knows what he did to me. When you can you file a restraining order? Where's the line between okay and not okay? What do I have to do to get my point accross? And another thing that bothers me, that really isn't my business, but I can't help but feel bad about is that Hilary has a child. She's 19 and had a child in December and talks about marrying Daniel. I wish I could contact her and tell her what Michelle sent me, but we aren't friends, never really have been. I know her and she knows me, but we've never been close in any way. I just can't help but wish she knew what she thought was so wonderful isn't really all that wonderful and I don't want her to wind up hurting more, but I can't really do anything about that without it looking like I don't want the two of them together. Which I don't, but not for me, for her. I'm in a fabulous relationship and have been for over a year and a half. The only thing I want is for Daniel to drop off the face of the planet, or at least whatever part I'm on. I can't sleep because of all this, and I guess I just really wanted to get it off my chest. If anyone made it this far, thanks for reading it all!