micy226

I somewhat agree with jodiegirl. I would let him know that online or not, real or not, and even "innocent" or not, that you don't like it and it hurts you to see him talking to other women. After all, you were faithful for (what was probably at least a year if not longer) while he was in Iraq and your parents could probably vouge for that (technically, though they may not want to get into your business lol). It's possible that he was just very lonely over in Iraq. I also think a lot of guys over there just assume their wives/gfs will cheat (although it doesn't happen to everyone, but they have no way of knowing who's wife/gf is cheating). Anyways, try to reassure him that it isn't the case and that you'd like it if he could stop doing the online stuff that upsets you. And that you love him and really want to make it work.

Doesn't it seem hard after that long of marriage....it's probably like the 2nd half of your life....ouch. You can move on though, but it will take time. The pain is similar to grieving for the death of your husband (even though he's not actually dead). People do move on when their spouses pass away. This is a really tough time, and it will take a lot of time, but if you stay strong you can make it through.

Well, I have only tried pot and I've never been like puking drunk (and had a hangover twice). What my mom did, was anytime anything about drugs or alcohol came up in the newspaper or tv, she DRILLED it into my brain that "kids who start drinking early become addicted more easily" and "your brain isn't fully developed as a teen and if you drink or do drugs you could permanently damage your brain or stunt your brains growth" also "the first time you try ecstasy you could die, it has happened" and "pot is a gateway drug" (but pot isn't actually a gateway drug, its probably more of a starter drug, cause I tried it and I'm not all over drugs) also that heroin is highly addictive...etc. I have also in my college/adult life done work with addicts, and from what I can see that - no offense to addicts - but their lives suck. Their children are taken away, sometimes for good - they commit felonies (DUI) and have to deal with drug tests, parole officers, not getting a job - it's hard to not relapse and its hard to recover and its hard to make a living. I would look up some serious facts (don't try to flat out scare them out of it, but with my mother being pretty insistent, I got the message) and put together a sort of outline for what you want to say. And repeat this message whenever it comes up. You'll kid will act annoyed, but their listening. Those anti-drug ads are true, you kids will listen even when they look like their not listening. Oh yeah and don't be too slack, cause the kids that stay out too late for their age, have no strict set of rules are the ones who go and drink, smoke, etc.

Oh I wish I hadn't heard your story over and over before. From your speaking in the past tense, I hope that means you've set up your own bank account and have your paychecks depositing into your personal account lol. It sucks that he isn't guilty enough to give you what you deserve for money. Even if you can't get half his pension, hopefully you can get the money back from your joint account. Try to push that, definitely. Also if he has accrued any debt behind your back...try to get that put all on him. I know of an unfaithful husband who bought his mistress's marital home, fixed it up and sold it, and then bought her a condo (all in his name!) Not to mention he drove his wife by the condo, and took his daughter and her friend to the condo when he expected his mistress to be home. What is wrong with these guys!

A dirty house driving someone to drink and drive, is this man OCD? Or looking for an EXCUSE. Ugh, you should not be expected to do all the housework on your own. I can't believe he'd even expect that from you, especially after the stroke and all. I mean, what did he do to clean the house during the (probably months or even years) while you recovered? I just can't believe that. Have you tried hiring a maid regardless? I mean you did double your income (which is quite an accomplishment after that stroke, congratulations!) First things first though. He probably needs to be in A.A. if he has a drinking and driving problem (multiple times). Get him there and find a way to get the house clean (probably hire someone). Hopefully he'll start recovering from his alcoholism and then you can work on the cleaning thing. Try to get him to share the chores. If you both work 40hrs+ it's only fair that you split the chores.

I'm really not sure that you can. Of course you will eventually be able to move on, but you will probably be effected forever. My best advice is to just try to keep a positive outlook, and like some of the others have said, wait several years before you try marriage again. A friend of mine actually pledged to never marry again. (Although she's quite happy on her own, something I don't quite understand myself). But even if you don't get married again, you could just have a long term committed relationship with someone. Just make sure you keep your finances separate, it's a lot less complicated when something happens.