super_dave0001

when i say change i dont mean change myself into something im not, because i no that doing something like that just makes you back fire. what i ment by that was when i first met my ex, i was fun, spontanious, romantic and so on.... over time i eventually hit a comfort zone and became lazy, and slacked off on the relationship as a whole, hense the reason why she told me she felt like i wasnt there for her.... she had a bf, but didnt have a bf at the same time, and me not being there for her like i was in the beginning made her loose her trust in me. so i see it as this. if i can show her that ive learned from that mistake of becoming lazy and hiting a comfort zone, and that i dont want to fall back into that then things can work out and we can be together again, since we both love and care for eachother.... and when she says something is missing i think that its the fact that i wasnt there for her

ok so last weekend i went to a club with my buddies, and who ends up at the same club? none other than my ex, which i havent seen since the break up which was about 2 months ago....she tried to come up to me to say hi, i was in the vip and she was not, i just brushed her off, the rest of the night holds no importance as we were both drunk, she tried to buy me a drink but that didnt go well, i danced with her breifly and she kissed me which she claims not to remember.... that being said, monday rolls around and she asked me if i wanted to go out for lunch, i dont know why but i agreed, it was pleasent, i kept her happy, made it a fun occasion, we grabed a coffee then went to the lakeshore, we sat on the rocks and held eachother, i than tried to kiss her and she pulled back and said no. about 5 minutes later she stood up, i got up and she hugged me, cried and said does this feel right? and i said i dont know, and she kissed me and we held eachother then i took her home. tuesday comes around and i drove her to school and picked her up aswell, we grabed a bite to eat again,and then i was going to take her home, but she asked me if i needed to go home, i said no and she said she didnt have to be home for another 2 or 3 hours so i drove to the lake again, a different part this time, we stood under a gazebo and again held eachother keeping eachother warm. our foreheads were against eachothers and our noses touching, we kissed eachother again. it was a nice moment i drove her home..she sent me msgs that night saying that maybe were moving to fast and should slow things down... now yesterday being thursday i picked her up from school again, this is the third time in one week where i spent time with her being away from eachother for 2 months... anyways, we grabed some food at the mall and did some shopping cause i needed some new clothes. we left and she wanted to go to the lake again. so i went we parked the car and talked, hugged and kissed again... she started crying and i was like ok? i asked her what was wrong and she said she didnt want me to get the wrong impression of us getting back together. she doesnt want to, she doesnt want to be with anyone at the moment. i wont lie, it did upset me... we continued to talk about things. i said i understand that shes scared and doesnt trust me because i was never there for her, and she feels that id slip into the same routine. she said to me that she still loves me greatly and cares for me and always will, but theres something missing, she doesnt know what it is, and thats why she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me or anyone. she also told me she doesnt expect me to wait for her. we did a lot of crying and i eventually took her home... i havent really talked to her much since that point its not that i will or wont wait for her, its the fact that knowing i love her so much unconditionally and shes confused on what she wants in her life. the other thing that gets me is knowing that i had her, and i let it slip out of reach, i told myself if we get back together ill never let that happen again. i can see her and i being together forever, as crazy as it may sound. ive become a stronger person in these 2 months, learned a lot aswell. something inside me tells me if i can show her that i changed myself, better myself back to what i was when we first met and wont fall into the old person that i was at the end of the relationship then we will get back together... maybe im just crazy?? any thoughts from you guys and gals are much appreciated.... my head right now is on overload full of doubts and questions

well i do want to work it out, but sometimes i wonder if shes doing this to ease the guilt of breaking up with me. its really hard to tell.... she is always trying to keep a convo with me when im on msn, but the thing is sometimes the things she says can change my mood so fast, and she doesnt realise it tho.... today i started a new job and she sent me a txt to see how i was and how the new job was going, i told her its ok an im surprised that she txt me, she replied saying u no i care, n i hope u can see that.... then she says things like this to me moments ago when i question her about us.... "i know i want u part of my life in some way but dunno how yet" "i dunno if it would work between us cause we have such a big history" "these are all things that will unveil themselves in the future " "i told u that i needed my space and time for myself i need to find myself before i can commit to someone else again" so im confused, and wonder if its worth trying with her...if im just wasting my time

your right that is a very nice story, and your also right life is about taking chances, and risks, and if you just live your life in a bubble you'll never experience anything, and never know the possibilities of wht could be or can't be....

my first thought is to try again, i agree with taking it slowly... only thing is im worried that i try to go slow with her and she meets someone else and takes off leaving me alone

thats it? no body agrees with her mentality at all?

ok, im back yet again, and just as confused as ever... so my ex and i were talking, it was a pretty basic convo, tried to keep it friendly and happy. she has been wanting to meet up with me cause my bday passed and she wants to buy me a drink, but i keep refusing... so then i decided to ask her "what exactly are your intentions with me?" her response was "to be friends? why?" i said forget i asked. but she tried to pick it out of me, so i told her i felt led on and she asked how but i wouldnt respond to her, so she than said "im not saying we cant have anything in the future but we need to be able to be friends first let things take its time see where we end up....im not gonna jump right back into anything with you we need to be able to establish a good friendship first get everything back. " so i left it at that for a while, she then proceeded to say "i dont get where this is all coming from and if you spoke to me instead of just running away all the time maybe we could accomplish something, but why would you do such a thing... you love to just bottle everything up and run" i still wasnt saying much at that point and she said "if we WERE to work anything out it cant be now, we barely can even keep a friendship right now, you always run, i cant trust you enough at this point to keep a relationship if you cant even let me in as a friend" i didnt say much to her after that point, and i went out with friends, so i said id talk to her later. so fast track to today, and she says so whats the deal? i told her i dont want to see her cause im afraid my feelings will come rushing back. she said " you dont want your feelings to come back... thats B.S. you want a friendship but you dont wanna see me.... you say you dont care if we run into eachother now i know thats also B.S. you thought i wanted to work this out... how would we ever be able to do that if you cant even look at me....if you cant even build a friendship with me whats the point of even thinking about a relationship?" the last thing she told me was "by us going out and being friends im not guaranteeing you anything im not saying we're gonna get back together i just need to be friends with you first if you and i even wanna think bout getting back together" now i know most will say forget her, just move on, but i admit she raises good points, all relationships start out as friends and if things work out people take it to the next step, and i can see how she wants to take it slow and see how it goes, shes in a better mind set, she realises that things wont work if we jump into it again.... thats what i gather from this.... sorry if this is long, but im wondering what others here think of this, and what advice you could give me..... i feel like my heads gonna explode...](*,)

so today is my birthday, the big 23 years of age with the mentality of a 4 year old lol... anyways my ex just called me up, i didnt want to pick it up, i had restarted NC on monday, but i did pick it up, and she said happy birthday to me. i said thanks. then she told me how she has to study for mid terms and just called to say happy bday. she also asked me how work was and i told her im not working and she was shocked asked me what i was doing and i told her im trying to apply for courses in insurance and or real estate. she asked me what was wrong cause i guess i showed signs of no interest in speaking to her in the tone of my voice and i said nothing was wrong, but there is. its not about us breaking up, its what i saw on her face book, but i never spilt the beans on it. she told me to swear that nothing was wrong, and i said were not together anymore i dont have to swear nothing to you, and she said so something is wrong? and i said nope and she told me to swear again but i said nope i dont have to were not together then i said i have to go now, and hung up on her..... well i dunno how i did lol, she of course read me like a book and new something was up in my tone of voice, but knew i wouldnt crack on the reasons why because she has no right....i told myself i wont look at her facebook no more, because i saw hurtful pics on it, when we were together but shes with other guys drunk in cuba......pics she never showed me, cause i didnt go with her to cuba...

meh, woman and realationships suck lol

i understand what your trying to say, im just still clinging on to this little piece of hope that we could work things out and get back together, obviously i need to better my self, and my mentality

shes the one that broke up with me, im the dumpee, and the reason why i want to work things out is because i can see myself marrying her... plus the reason for the break up was so crappy. it wasnt like a cheating or constant fighting to break us up. things just got routien and a little boring

hmmm? i do want to be friends, because every realationship has to start out as friends, but at the same time it can be tough knowing shes interested in another guy...

she wants to be friends

you guys are both right, but i don't ask her questions, cause i no it will set me back, shes asked me questions like if ive been sleeping around, how my gf is, but i dont have 1 lol, i just say its none of her business... i definitly dont chase her, i try not to show interest, and rarely start convos

well its been a while since i posted bout my break up... i went on NC with the ex for three weeks. she would txt me but i'd ignore them, then last friday (oct20) she called my phone twice, i ignored both calls but she left a threatening voice basically saying if i dont call her back she will never talk to me again. we ended up talking for a bit that night and through out the week we would talk on msn, mainly her always starting the convos. i did let her know how i felt, do to the fact that i felt like i was getting mixed signals on her part, which were her sending me txts, and picture msgs of her baby cousins, and she would always talk to me online steady. I felt as if she wanted to try to work things out, but i was wrong, she made it clear she wanted to be friends at the moment, and appearntly shes interested in another guy. i was a jerk most of the convos, rightfully so if you ask me, she broke my heart. but she even said it seems like every chance i get to throw the punch at her i do, weather i realise it consciously or not. she claims she still loves me and cares for me. but last night i talked to her and she said maybe we should tell eachother where were going on weekends so we dont end up in the same place. she said she doesnt want to possibly make me upset. when i questioned her on that she told me to nevermind, but i knew that it ment id see her with other guys. she says she knows i would get mad cause i told her i wanted to work on things between us. I ended up telling her that i dont care because i no she dosent want to get back together. her response was "ok" that threw me off, "ok" dosent say much, it could be "ok ur right i dont want to work it out", or "ok, but your wrong i do want to work it out".... it seems like another mind game to me. why cant woman just be upfront and leave the games for the field i dunno what to make of things anymore, common sense just dosent seem logical anymore

hmmm im talking to her now and im geting a different impression then that of wanting to get back together with me, unless shes just tryiing to play hard to get or messing with my mind

really? cause i no she wants to be friends with me, but i didnt want that at the time of the break up, cause it simply hurt to much so i disappeared on her for a month... then thats when everything went down... girls/woman r so hard to figure out

its been 2 days since i got this txt msg from her "your such a jerk and why i care is beyond me just remember to disappear again cause when you decide to reappear i may not be here anymore" but it still bothers me, i dunno what she is trying to tell me there? is that possibilly a way of her trying to hint to me that she wants to try to work it out?

so would you think that LC would be best for me now?... cause i do want to get back together with her, but i will not jump into it, id just be seting myself up for failure a couple friends of mine think i should talk to her and see where it can go, they seem to think shes missing me... i unblocked her off of msn and we talked... she started doing 20 questions with me, asking wut ive bin upto, wut i did last night and wut i was doing tonight... i didnt answer anything with a proper answer.... plus she was sending me pics on my cell of her 2 baby cousins, which she knew i loved alot... so much confusion, i dunno.....](*,)

i no why.... she wants to be friends, but i think the month of nc effected her, n she realised im for real.... but i no she would never flat out just say i miss u i want u back, cause she feels i would never take her back

it kind of seems like it, but its hard to tell honestly i feel so many mixed signals from her](*,)

anybody?..........

ok, im in a messy state here, my ex called me twice friday evening, the second time leaving a bit of a nasty voice mail....its bin more then 3 weeks of NC mind you. in that voice mail she said the following...."i dunno what ive done to you and i dont really care, i tried being your friend but you just disapeard, but thats not the point, i herd you got laid off from work, n my parents are bugging me they want you to know they had nothing to do with it" (her father got me the job that i had) she continued saying "if you have a heart or any feelings you'll call me or send me a txt, if you dont than ill no its completely over and ill never speak to you again" so i gave it about an hour before i called her, let me tell you she was mad lol, first thing she said was "you know what a phone is?" then she asked a few questions, if the layoff was true and for how long it will be, i told her it was true and i dont no how long... she had to go cause her cousin was calling. she called back in five minutes and i could hear her mom going crazy in the background asking if it was me she was talking to... her parents loved me... so we chated for a bit. she said i sound different and when i asked what that ment she couldnt answer, she just said i sound so different. so i left it at that. then the dreaded question arose.... "so hows your gf?" (i dont have another gf but i no how her mind works and how she trys to get info outta me) i replied "which one?" n i chuckled... she called me a d*ck and said so you do have one? and i told her it was none of her business, she got upset said she didnt wanna talk to me now and said bye, n i said bye, knowing damn well that she thought i would fight to keep her on the line.... sorry if this is long but bear with me it gets a little more juicy 5 minutes after hanging up i get a txt from her. she said "your such a jerk and why i care is beyond me just remember to disappear again cause when you decide to reappear i may not be here anymore" ok so with that all said.... what the heck could her txt msg possibly mean? lay it on me cause im lost i dunno what shes trying to do to me, breaking NC didnt set me back cause im feeling alright, it just left me confused.... im not good at analizing my own situation.... please help me decifer all this

lmao! oh man u put a smile on my face with that 1 lol thx!

ok, heres the situation, ex broke up with me like a month ago, started NC 1 week after the break up (no phone calls, txts, and blocked her on msn, 1 week after that point of starting NC she txt me 2 times in one day, first at 2am, then later on at 230pm. i never answered any of them, now today i get another txt after lunch saying "r u alive" thats the second time shes asked me that... wut gives? wuts the deal with asking me if im alive? lol wut am i supposed to say to her? even my friend told me this... "u know for a girl that wants to forget about you, she seems to be giving you alot of attention" well the thing is she did tell me she wants to be friends... so i wouldnt say shes trying to forget about me