moogleman

perhaps he got nervous for a spell? its possible and likely, mind you, that he is a sleaze, but perhaps he is waiting for a reciprocation on your part of what he has been doing to you i.e. calling him, complimenting him, etc. make your own moves...its eases tensions of course I could be WAY off track as I don't know the guy you speak of or know enough about him.

I was thinking just to mess with her head a bit? Mayhaps to inform her that if you don't wanna do something say: "I don't wanna do _____________" so that the next time she "white-lies" stuff, people don't wait for nothing. In any case, I gave her a call (I only have her house number, mind you) and all I got was a message machine (which I left no message to). So, I'm just going to cut my losses short and as you say, the balls in her court and if it's over after one inning...well whatever. T'was nice to have some coffee and catch up with her. **I had known of her in highschool and we go back to some extent**, but I was never really involved with her or her friends so...yeah** anywho thanks a bundle and we'll see if anything happens or not

hmmm.... So should I call her to put the heat on?

so...I've got 2 "try agains" and 2 "drop hers". How fortunate....actually it isn't, but I think I'll try again. She does have work, I DON'T, so right off the bat her time is more scarce. I'll let it fly this once, but if she is flaky ever again or when I call her...well it's her loss. Cos, I'm lit, fit , and I ain't takin' * * * *. (or something like that) lol

Yo, I had coffee with this girl on Monday last week. On Thursday, I called her up before her work around noon and asked if she would like to go play pool (billiards and such). She asked "when"? and I said around Sunday. She said she would give me a call after looking at her work schedule. It's now Monday and I never heard jack. I'm thinking of calling her up around noon again tomorrow (tuesday) and saying: "Hey did something happen last weekend? I was expecting a phone call from you about your work schedule and possibly getting together." *y'know, nothing accusational or whiny/moany.* Whaddaya think?

I hate to say it...but a long long time ago...I was that guy...in some ways (not all) I still suffer at remembering how I lost my friendship with that girl that you are right now, even though it has made me a much better person. please try to salvage what you can from your acquaintance-ship *I hope thats a word*. Don't make him have to go through what I've gone through if you can help it. If you know his AIM screenname or whatever...I'll talk to him for you. but if you want to solve this quickly and I can't blame you...tell him that the manner in which he is acting in is beneath him and that he is better than that, that you don't like him in "that" way and that there is no use trying to generate interest, and that you would like to have him as a friend...nothing more and nothing less. The transition, I imagine, will be very VERY awkward but it will (I believe) be worth it. If you can solve this without crushing his spirit, I think you'll both be winners.

Has anyone ever gone through anything like this before? I'm somewhat insecure still...I hate to say it but I'm scared that I will aggravate things. If anyone has any good ideas and has been in such situations before, I would appreciate the help.

I hope you're right...but parts of me have trouble believing that maybe I can make a difference. Despite how badly things went between us, I can't say that I wish I never met her, because of the person it has molded me into...but if I could "feed the flower I robbed" (y'know...give back to something that somewhat empowered and enlightened me) it would mean so much to me, even though the ways it has influenced my actions with old friends and new faces has been more than I could ever hope for. The only thing I have given in the past 2 years is to stay away...and I don't believe that such is all that I'm capable of....at least now anyways.

are you sure that you want to altogether get rid of him like that? Try to be diplomatic about this...I don't think there is any real need to throw EVERYTHING away. Don't beat around the bush, just figure out WHAT you want him to understand and sit him down and say it. And if all is for nothing...you tried your best right?

cmon guys...please help me.

A couple of years ago I was basically obsessed with a girl at school. I used to be her friend for a while but then started to break the trust of a basic friendship and I began to have a main goal and aspiration to kiss her...nothing else mattered to me. I never took advantage of her like that, but she began to not be open and friendly with me (and rightly so). I remember that I stared at her, said crazy things just to say anything, and always tried to sit next to her...(stupid clingy and stalkerish things like that). I remember feeling that I would "die" without her and crazy stuff like that. During our earlier interactions she had given me her IM screen-name and about 6 months after having met her, she told me about all the terrible things that had happened to her. She was nearly raped twice, her mother told her how she didn't want her as a daughter anymore, that she would be moving away (which she was forced to do much of in her childhood for her parents' occupational reasons), and that a couple years earlier, her best friend had died. I instantly felt horrible and something hit me. I believe that I learned that "love" is wanting what is best or better for someone else and doing whatever you can to make that a reality, and that "love" comes in all shapes and sizes...and that it never fails unless you decide to never try to love again. With this knowledge that had hit me almost like divine intervention, I knew I had to do something but I was scared still of the situation, for now I knew of how bad things were between me and her...everyday I could see how she didn't trust me and was frightened by my over obsessive actions towards her. I decided to try and tell her that I cared about her and "loved" her (as a friend of course) a couple months later but she wouldn't speak to me face to face (which is what I was prepared for), and I had to try and convey what I felt and learned online on IM. It turned into an absolute nightmare and we were both angered and hurt. That summer she moved away and I never heard from her again. In high school retreats and the like I have told the story and I can see how what I have learned from that girl has true bearing and that it can help people in someway to live better and more happily. This was roughly 1 and 3/4 years ago and it still haunts me. It was the one time I tried to do something that was actually GOOD...and I failed. I want to finally finish what I set out to do for that girl because I think it could really help her...but I don't know how...or if I should. I have some contact with mutual friends of ours, but its quite limited as they are in college and don't spend much time on IM. so...any suggestions?