shadowane

Alot of my friends lately have told me to just walk up to her and say everything on my mind, dont get upset, or let her talk just tell her everything that I felt... vent it out. I did just that last night. Of course she told me she didnt like it. And that I just couldnt leave well enough alone, that I sounded like some commercial because my voice was even and I wasnt starting to cry. I felt...sad at first then I felt like someone had just cleansed me like confessional. It felt good at the end, granted I didnt get but three hours of sleep and I have to go to work in less than an hour (to which I've called in twice this month and left early once.... Im looking for a new job anyways). The least is up on Oct 1st so I need to make plans. I'll probably move out without telling her where and when I will be doing this. Im hoping to move in with friends but thats looking close to impossible so a studio apartment will probably be it. Hopefully I can manage to do this and continue to go to college. I dont want this to mess up my life. Im feeling better day by day. ^.^

Thats actually a very wonderful Idea. I have been thinking about picking up on martial arts again. I dropped out of it in high school right before red belt testing in Kung Fu (geared more towards traditional than competition style). It did feel wonderful to get in shape and maybe kicking a few people around during sparing would help. LMAO.

I was just wondering what activities everyone does when their gf/bf (spouse divorces) dumps them? Strangely enough I started a journal to my ex and instead of yelling and shouting, begging, and pleading I pour down all my thoughts all my frustrations, and emotions down on the page. Its sort of a symbolic way of telling her everything without getting in contact with her and pushing her away/making me hate her/ or her hating me.... The more time I spend away from her and doing this the more my mind seems able to wrap around the fact that to me, when she broke up with me, it was as if she had died infront of me. I know hanging out with friends help but what else?

smiles21 that sounds exactly like my situation. GF gets new job, new friends at work, and starts hanging out with the new people/in the new situation... we have a rough week with stress and finals from college and then BAM! I dont love you, Im not attracted to you... Im not seeing anyone but I really like this guy. And then BAM! the very next day Dinner Date with guy and I find out she went over to his house the night she split with me and he said "I bet you ten dollars you will try to go back out" and she told him no and started putting moves on him. Apparently from a mutual friend who keeps saying "I dont know what is in her head" but then this same friend keeps telling her "Go for it..." yeah. it gets you. And though 4 years 9months really didnt matter at all. She could just toss it away and go have 'fun in a single life... like I did in high school." yeah. Sure. Being a good person, loving, and kind doesnt get you any where. She always tells me and told me I was so loving, and kind to her but thats not what she wanted I guess....

Heartshout- I feel you there. Its strange when they say they dont want to be with you anymore and dont tell you whats actually going on. Like telling me lies and doing the exact oposite... It makes me feel as if there IS no closure. And her seeing this new guy, whos so much older, and even more controlling than any of her previous partners is just unbelievable. Sometimes I wish I could just shake some of these people and shout "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!" Or have these people think about their actions instead of just jumping. but it does start to get better. You go through the stages and just live even when it feels like ](*,) .....

I know I believe in Karma. It hasnt quite happened to my ex but I know it will. And she believes its true (karma) as well. She just broke up with me for this guy, telling me she doesnt love me and isnt attracted to me. This guy is drastically older than her and a Campus (college) Police officer. (They're at times some of the most controlling people). I hope it has karma. But on to the story. I knew a guy who was dating this girl. Well they had been dating about a year when he moved in with some friends. His girlfriend starts coming over all the time, until she starts coming over when he isnt around. Apparently she had started to have an affair with his best friend. She dumped him and then a month later ends up pregnant. She quickly arranges for a marriage. After six months (shes six months along) the guy wants out of the marriage and surprise surprise trys to say the kid isnt his. They split until the kid is born and she gets a paternal test done. Yeah that kid is his not my friends kid alright. And they're still split.

You've gone four months and its just now happening to me. I've been dating my partner for 4 yrs and 9 months and suddenly she doesnt love me any more, and feels no attraction to me. We've had an unstable on again off again relationship but this is extremely different then what has ever happened before. Shes seeing another guy whos very much her senoir and says shes very happy. We are still sharing an apartment but I dont know how long that will last because of all this. I've talked to her and tryed to settled things out, begged, and then in the last two days (its been four days now since the big breakup... 'the bang') given up and started to try and heal. Even buying a self help book on 'when to let go'. But it really does hurt. I've dated her since senior year of high school and now we're almost out of college. What should I do? Its just like you said. If she suddenly dumps this guy I would go running back to her in a heart beat if she wanted me. This is bad, I know it. Plus shes got BPD. (Borderline Personality Disorder- very serious and heartbreaking). I know she has serious problems at times... and this guy she is seeing is no better. He has OCD, germaphobe, and is also Bi-polar. Its hard... I have to let go... but it is natural to have these feelings. I just wish I had someone who understood right now about what I was going through to talk to.