plasticheartsandsmiles

this is probably a stupid question, but i see SO many threads about NC and i'm curious as to why people do it and what it has done for people so far. ive read on some threads that people go NC to get over an ex and then i've read in some others thats people do NC to win an ex back. what are some of you guys doing NC for and does it work in winning someone back? no one has told me that i should do NC with my ex and im wondering if maybe i should I would really like to hear your answers. (esp. about the winning an ex back part)

i know EXACTLY where you're coming from. my ex and i broke up about a little over a month ago and it makes me want to throw up thinking about him not being in my life again. like you, this boy was my very best friend and i talked to him about eveything in my life. he did the same with me. i cannot imagine another person ever taking his place. theres not another boy i want. he is THE one and i know that. anyway, what im doing is just trying to play it cool and lay off for awhile. i dont know if i'd go 100% no contact. maybe you could talk to him like once a month or something, just to say hi and see how hes doin. b/c you know, theres no point in acting like you dont care about him when you do. i'm all about being honest and doing what you feel and if you feel like talking to him one day, i dont see whats wrong with calling to say hey. but i do think you have to put SOME distance there or you really never will find closure. i agree with what everyone else said. he will NOT forget you. you dont forget someone you share that much with. i thought that if i went NC with my ex that he'd forget me, too, but thats foolish to think such a thing. unless he has shock therapy, there will be no way he could totally forget about you. there will be daily reminders of what you had together, trust me. i'm sure its hard for him to get over you too. guys have a way of making things seem easier to handle then they really are best of luck to you. even though things look grim right now, dont give up on love. its my philosophy that you should NEVER give up on something you care that much about. just give it time and see where things fall. feel free to PM me b/c i'd love to talk.

my ex and me have been broken up for a little over a month now. i, of course, miss him like crazy and want him back in my life. he has said that he misses me and that life isnt the same since we aren't together, but he also makes definitive statements like "we shouldnt be together right now" and crap like that. i KNOW that he cares about me cause we talk at least once a week and he shows a interest in whats going on in my life. how could he miss what we had and care about me and want me in his life, but not want to get back with me? it dont add up whats killin me are the memories. we had 2 years worth of memories together. and no matter what he is trying to convince himself of, we were happy. we had problems but in general we were good for each other. he knows that we had so many good times but its like hes erased them from his memory and is only focusing on what wasnt perfect or somethin. i know that he doesnt know if he made the right decision or not. stuff he tells me lets me know that he's not 100% sure. what can i do to help him get rid of his pride and see that we SHOULD be together? i think he knows it down in his heart. there is no way that he could like me one month and then the next month be over me with no good reason. i'm really fallin apart. love hurts and it is killin me.

i'm pretty sure that one of my best friends is really depressed. she hasnt come out and told me, but she's making really irrational decisions in her life, distancing herself from people who love her, and says how she feels confused with the direction her life is taking. when she was younger she saw a counselor and got put on meds but im not sure if shes still on them or not. i know depression runs in her family, too.if she cares about me so much, why cant she talk to me about it? i'm going to be there to love her and help her out more than she can even imagine. how do i approach her about what shes doing in her life????

this is basically the same thing that happened to me. i dont see how a person can just up and decide that now isnt the right time and that crap. it hurts. i had a relatively perfect relationship too. we had our minor arguments and all that but it was never anything that really scared me. ive been having the same kind of questions as u...do i back off and let him go until he realizes what he had? do i go on with my life b/c he realized he doesnt want me right now? i just dont know the answers. i do know, though, that if u really love someone u should never give up. just from what u've told us, i believe she'll come around. sometimes people go through phases where they doubt things in their life...even those things that seem stable like a relationship. just give her her space and then be her friend. if u care about someone, no matter how hard u try to deny it, u won't be able to. if she really cares about u, she'll come back. that probably isnt too reassuring but its the truth. until then, do some things for yourself and even though it hurts, throw urself into things that make u happy. once she sees that u're happy and too busy to just sit and wait for her to come back, she'll miss you.

he broke up with me b/c he said he didnt feel the same way that i did. and i do want to be his friend b/c we were friends before we starting dating. its a part of who i am

i miss my ex terribly and want to be his friend!! even tho i want to talk to him, i know that its not the best time. how long do u think i should wait to try to be his friend? i dont want to smother him and turn him off. im just so confused! it hurts to feel like you cant talk to someone who means so very much to u! any advice would be appreciated!!!

thanks a lot. it actually does help to know that other people have or are experienceing the same thing as me. i'm ready for this pain to be over. i know time heals all things but time seems to be crawling by. i thought my ex and i were happy and that we were gonna last. funny how things can shatter at the drop of a hat. i just wonder if, with some space, people can have a change of heart? i wonder if he doesnt have me in his life for awhile if he'll realize what hes missing. its like thisisnotanexit says, maybe he needs space. damn, thats what im hoping. what do u guys think?

thanks for ur (thisisnotanexit) advice. and yea thats weird that the same thing is goin on w/ u. how did u know u didnt love her anymore?? how does that happen to a person? i know it can but i dont get how you can be in love with a person for a period of time and then over time start NOT to love them. it doesnt make any sense. and what if this is just a spell? i dont know if i need to hang on to him or not. i cant get over it and its effecting everything i do in my life. i dont find joy in things that use to make me happy and i dont want to see anybody. i feel so lost because he's missing. i want to talk to him (in general) but know thats probable out of the question. everything seems lost and i dont get him!!!

yeah, everytime i did eat something it made me feel sick. im not not eating for anyone's attention, i physically cant.

my bf broke up w/ me a few weeks ago w/o good reason. he said that he didnt feel anything for me anymore. i dont understand how a person can suddenly decide that they dont love u anymore. we had a relatively stable relationship but we had our problems like everyone else. even up until the breakup he still acted like he still cared for me so thats why i guess this whole thing is so confusing. its like ive got no closure and i feel like maybe he does still care for me but is confused. do u think i could be right??? depression runs in his famliy so im thinkin that maybe he is just depressed b/c i was told that if ur depressed it can make u doubt everything in ur life. i dont know if hes ever gonna come back to me or not.. he says he wants to keep contact but i doubt hes gonna put forth any effort w/ that. what is the best thing for me to do??? do i let him go completely? i love him so much that i cant just let him go without trying. i dont see how a person can wake up and decide they dont wanna be with you anymore and throw away such a long relatoinship where they know they were loved. u'd think a person would at least try! this break up has caused me to hole myself up in my room and i dont want to see people. i went for like 3 days and didnt eat anythign just drank softdrinks. we've been dating for 2.5 yrs so yeah this is huge. ive been cheated on and broken up with before so i feel like theres somethin wrong with me. if there wasnt anything wrong with me then u'd think that id find someone to love me completely. im so devastated b/c i thought we'd work...i really thought he was gonna be the person i was gonna marry one day. i think he even thought we were gonna be together too b/c he had mentioned that. i want to disappear and never be seen again. help PLEASE!!! i need some answeres & tips cas i cant go on without him.