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plasticheartsandsmiles

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  1. plasticheartsandsmiles
    we didnt hang out/talk hardly at all for a good fourth months after the break up. we just started hanging out/talking a lot in the past two and a half months. he has said that he still has feelings for me and that he misses me and that us breaking up wasnt something he WANTED (my selfishness/bad atittude kinda forced him to). he also told his neighbor who is one of my good friends that he was gonna wait and see what happened with us (as far as us getting back 2gether) do you suggest anything else?
  2. plasticheartsandsmiles
    yeah i definitely have reason to believe that theres a possibility that we MIGHT get back together. (all stuff he has said/done). so what do you suggest?
  3. plasticheartsandsmiles
    ive posted here a lot recently and everyone has helped me a lot. however, i need help once more. as i said in an earlier post, for about two months now my ex and i have been great friends. however, in the past week he has seemed distant. he's been really busy and stressed out lately so that could be a reason, but its got me worrying that he isnt around me as much/talking to me as much because he's finally realized that he doesnt want to get back together with me. theres this other gurl that he's friends with that i'm scared he might like, though he's never said or really impied that he did. (he's just friendly with her, like he is all his other female friends) but i'm starting to wonder if his feelings for me have changed and if hes willing to give me another chance. should i ask him this or would it possibly make him feel rushed and pressured and make him say no? i know he's contemplated it recently (from what he tells others) but i'm scared to finally ask. i dont want to rush a decsion he hasnt made yet. what should i do???
  4. plasticheartsandsmiles
    thanks so much for all of your advice. its true that he's gonna have to do his part too...in trying to see me as a different person and not seeing me as the the same person i was when we dated. i really appreciate all of your advice! thankyou soo much!!!
  5. plasticheartsandsmiles
    in order to get back together with me, my ex has, in a roundabout way, said he has to SEE that i've changed and not just hear it from me. i need to SHOW him that i care adn that i'm not selfish anymore. does anyone have any ideas on what i can do (not SAY) to show him i've changed? i buy him random stuff i think he'll like or stuff that reminds me of him, but i dotn want everything i do to be monetary. suggestions would be greatly appreciated
  6. plasticheartsandsmiles
    my ex broke up with me about eight months ago because i didnt treat him the way he should be treated. i was selfish and made him think that i didnt care about him when i did. since then, for about the past two months, we've been hanging out at least 4 days a week and we talk a lot. he knows that i care about him a lot still and he says that he also cares about me and that theres more to it than that but right now he's scared to say too much. it basically feels like we're dating yet we're not because we spend all our free time together. since he knows how i feel and that i want to get back with him, do you think he would be hanging out with me so much only to hurt me by telling me he doesnt wanna get back with me in the end? he's not a liar or someone who would intentionally upset me. i just dont know what he is thinking. also, can anyone give me tips on SHOWING him that i care for him? i tell him all the time but i want him to see it through my actions. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT MIGHT BE GOING ON?
  7. plasticheartsandsmiles
    heres my situation ok my ex and me have become pretty good friends since we broke up a few months ago. about two weeks ago we hung out for the first time since the break up and we had a great day! we went thrift store shopping together, had lunch, and then watched this band perform at a bar that we used to go to. there wasnt much weirdness at all, things seemed to be just how they used to! shortly after that we started talking a lot more online and stuff and we were really becoming friends. since all this, i havent talked to him in like 6 days and im wondering why he was all about talking to me and agreed to spend time with me and now he seems really distant. before our outing he told one of his close guy friends who im also close to that he was scared if he started being around me a lot that he'd want to get back together even though right now he doesnt want that at this time. i KNOW he wants to be my buddy again but i dont understand why he's cool hanging out with me/talking to me one day and then he goes a few days w/o talking to me. does anybody have a clue? if anyone does, what do i do about this?
  8. plasticheartsandsmiles
    In all honesty, colleges focus on different things. A lot of colleges focus solely on SAT scores but there are lots of colleges out there that focus on your class rank, cumulative GPA and community service. As long as you've proven yourself as an asset to a potential college I don't think you have much to worry about. I would definitely suggest getting involved in your high school as much as you can and doing a little community service. Don't do it just to get into college, though. Do it because they are both great experiences for you and will make you a better person. Don't freak out about college. Trust me, different collges focus on different things.
  9. plasticheartsandsmiles
    I am in your shoes right now. I haven't been broken up with my ex for two years but I definitely dont want to date anybody and I dont see myself getting over him for at least another year. I think its pretty natural not to be over him just yet...I mean you guys dated for five years. If you've moved past the sadness and depression then I'd honestly say that you're doing okay. The end of a long relationships is totally traumatic and I dont see how someone could really expect you to jump back into the dating pool so easily. I mean goodness FIVE years! I hope that you are doing okay, though. If you don't think you have moved found a healthy state of mind post break up talk to someone about how you're feeling. I wish the very best for you!
  10. plasticheartsandsmiles
    my ex of two years has recently started hanging out with other girls. does this necessarily mean that he's over me? about a month or so ago he admitted that he still cared about me and missed me and stuff but now he's hanging out with other girls. i'm scared that he's over me and ready to move on. is it possible that a person can move on from a 2 year relationship in like 4 months? he makes it a point to still maintain contact w/ me so i dk if that proves he isnt over me. ill appreciate any answers
  11. plasticheartsandsmiles
    My ex has this same problem with me. He lets me in to a certain point and then pushes me away because he starts having feelings for me again. Did you break up with your ex or did she break up with you? If you broke up with her and still have these feelings then maybe you should mention them to her and see if theres any chance you can reconcile your differences. If she broke up with you and if you really want her friendship, even though you get the romantic feelings when you're around her, maybe you should keep hanging out with her and just get used to the idea of her JUST being your friend. i think if you guys remain STRICTLY friends you'll fall into that routine. best of luck to you.
  12. plasticheartsandsmiles
    What were your reasons for breaking up with him? In my own opinion, your heart knows what you REALLY want. Maybe your head tells you it wont work, but your head also doesnt have the passion to try. Your heart does. In my own experience, your head can really screw you up. You can convince yourself of ANYTHING if you try hard enough, whether it be true or not. I genuinely believe that your heart will NEVER lead you astray. You might get your feelings hurt, but I believe if you live by your heart you won't ever have any regrets. My ex was the type of guy who never followed his heart, only his head, and from what I hear the decisions he makes based on what his head tells him causes him unhappiness. If you can reverse this damage, I would. Follow your heart and try to work on the problems you have with your ex. If your heart cares that much then I believe your love deserves another chance. Best of luck to you. Let me know what happens. Hope this helps.
  13. plasticheartsandsmiles
    I am so sorry about your loss. I know what it feels like to lose your father -- my dad died when I was fifteen and it was really hard. Things will get better over time, I promise. You are in my thoughts and prayers. About the ex, he really may have been busy or unsure of what to say to you. Some people don't check their email everyday so maybe he hasn't gotten it yet. Don't get too downhearted just yet. Give him about a week and if he hasnt responded by then, just try to let it go. Its my belief that you can still be there for someone and care for them and NOT be in their life actively. You can continue to love him and care but you have to do something to ease your mind. Go back in NC mode after next week or something and try your best to stick to it. If he responds to your email then, i'd reply and then go right back to NC. once you feel like you're back on your feet maybe you two could be friends or something, but i think NC will be a good way to help you heal. best of luck to you and once again, i'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
  14. plasticheartsandsmiles
    I totally agree. You've told him exactly how you feel and how much you care and how you WONT CALL ANYMORE, so don't. if you don't stick to your word it will make you look desperate, clingy, dependent, and needy. All of these things are unattractive, especially to someone you WANT to attract. I can totally understand your frustration because I have been there before, but its really best to stay strong and give him his space. He might need to figure things out on his own -- away from you. If you smother him he won't have to re-evaluate how his life has changed without you. Its going to be very hard and there are going to be times when you almost feel a physical NEED to speak to him but when you get those urges do something else -- read a book, watch a movie, go visit friends, just get your mind off of it. It may sound bad, but if he never calls you back or gets back in touch with you, you haven't lost as much as you think. It will hurt, trust me, but if he doesnt put forth the same effort you're putting forth over time, its really not worth anymore heartache. best of luck to you
  15. plasticheartsandsmiles
    I dunno, thats a hard question. I've never really been on a date with someone without knowing that we were probably gonna start going out shortly after. However, if i were in your shoes i would NOT contact him. if he's the one who initiated the date itself, then he should follow-up on it. if he goes more than a week without contacting you, i'd look for other guys. i'd give him til this coming friday and then see what happens. good luck to you! i hope everything works out for you!
  16. plasticheartsandsmiles
    ive been doing no contact now for going on three weeks now and a few days ago my ex contacted me four times. i wasnt able to answer my phone any of the times becuase i was gonna ignore it but i dont want to avoid him. even though we arent dating anymore he is still my very best friend and i dont want anything i do to make him think i dont want his friendship anymore. how long do i wait to contact him and what do i do/say???????????? my BIGGEST quesiton is this...... he broke up with me, but he tells ppl that he cares a/b me deeply and contacts me whenever he doesnt hear from me for awhile. what does this mean?!?! i love him so much and would love to get back together with him but im trying to give us both time to heal. any advice would be GREATLY appreciated/welcomed, thanx!
  17. plasticheartsandsmiles
    a few of you know my story: a few months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. since then we've remained friends somewhat. one week he talks to me a lot and the next week he kind of blows me off. anyway, besides that, i really cant deal with this anymore. i am so depressed and feel so alone. i have no direction and i'm so anxious all the time i cant deal with it. i'm always worried that he's gonna end up with someone else (and i think he might b/c some girls are flirting with him). he has said that he still cares about me a lot so i mentally cant give up on this. we dated for two years and so ive got a lot invested in our relatinship. i'm in the middle of doing no contact right now and while it helps, i dont think i'm doing it strictly enough. i still see him online and stuff, i just dont talk to him. i havent talked to him in awhile or emailed or anything. i really have no idea what to do. i've never been one to consider taking my life, but gosh sometimes the way im living now is just too hard. i WONT take my life becuase thats stupid, but living this way is TOO much right now. i dont want to be around anyone and all i want to do is escape and run away from everything. i dont know what to do; this emotional turmoil is sucking my life away and i hate living. can anyone offer me any advice to get myself out of this hole?
  18. plasticheartsandsmiles
    a few of you know my story: a few months ago my boyfriend broke up with me. since then we've remained friends somewhat. one week he talks to me a lot and the next week he kind of blows me off. anyway, besides that, i really cant deal with this anymore. i am so depressed and feel so alone. i have no direction and i'm so anxious all the time i cant deal with it. i'm always worried that he's gonna end up with someone else (and i think he might b/c some girls are flirting with him). he has said that he still cares about me a lot so i mentally cant give up on this. we dated for two years and so ive got a lot invested in our relatinship. i'm in the middle of doing no contact right now and while it helps, i dont think i'm doing it strictly enough. i still see him online and stuff, i just dont talk to him. i havent talked to him in awhile or emailed or anything. i really have no idea what to do. i've never been one to consider taking my life, but gosh sometimes the way im living now is just too hard. i WONT take my life becuase thats stupid, but living this way is TOO much right now. i dont want to be around anyone and all i want to do is escape and run away from everything. i dont know what to do; this emotional turmoil is sucking my life away and i hate living. can anyone offer me any advice to get myself out of this hole?
  19. plasticheartsandsmiles
    he broke up w/ me & im not completely sure why...it was out of the blue and unexpected
  20. plasticheartsandsmiles
    k so heres the deal...for about a week or 2 my ex talked to me everynight for at least like 3 hours on the computer and he was so nice and friendly and it was like old times...since then ive talked to him a few times but hes been kinda abrupt and not as friendly and i dk why. he wsa the 1 that initiated the contact a few weeks ago so i dk why he stopped it all of a sudden. do u guys think its cas maybe he was starting to feel feelings for me agian or what?? i'm doing NC now in part to make him miss me but mostly to get my life back, u know. ive got another question too...if u KNOW, and when i say know i mean have evidence that ur ex still cares about u a lot and misses u and questions themselves do u give up on it or what? do u guys think doing NC first and then being friends is a good way to reconcile? i need ur advice, thanx!!
  21. plasticheartsandsmiles
    this is a wonderful question. i agree with a previous poster, its refreshing to read a question like this one when so many questions are aimed towards NOT taking an ex back. its my belief that, if you were happy with that person, and if there was no infidelity/irreversible damage you should definitely reconsider it. sometimes things happen at bad times but it doesnt mean that you should never re-visit that experience. i believe what makes an ex worth going back to is how that person treated you. did he/she respect you, love you unconditionally, and accept you? it is extremely hard to find someone who accepts you fully and finding a person like that is a blessing. also, can you function without them? did your life become less enjoyable in their absense? do you share common values/beliefs? does your ex make you feel loved? are you ok with the thought of them being with someone other than you for the rest of your life? i believe if your relationship was based on a healthy friendship it is definitely worth trying. many people are black and white and think that if it didnt work out the first time it wasnt meant to, thats BS. everything deserves a second chance. i hope a lot of people reply to this post. i'm intrigued.
  22. plasticheartsandsmiles
    so does that mean that my absense might make him come to his senses (if what im predicting is true)? what do i do?
  23. plasticheartsandsmiles
    he said he thought he fell outta love with me. but thats what makes me think that maybe he didnt. he DOES care, i know that. im just thinking that maybe cuz this was his first real relatoinship, when it lost its newness he thought that was him losing his love for me. what do u think?
  24. plasticheartsandsmiles
    this thread gives me hope. my ex and i had what i thought was a wonderful relationship. we were both best friends and lovers and besides the normal, tiny, unimportant fusses, we were happy. he dumped me awhile back because he said he fell out of love. whatever that means. i dont think anyone ever just 'falls out of love'. plus he does a lot post-break up which proves that he cares about me a lot. there's so much i cant even begin to explain i havent gone NC with him because i was afraid of the whole "out of sight, out of mind" qoute. but i know that he hates to imagine me moving on. because our relationship was so intense and deep i feel like NC might work. more importantly, though, i think NC will bring some happiness back into my life. i spend all of my time obsessing over this loss that i am not happy. i want to re-focus my life. do you guys REALLY think that relationships that ended on a good note (both parties not angry/hostile towards each other...going towards friendship) can be resolved?
  25. plasticheartsandsmiles
    ive got a question for u guys. do u think its possible that once the butterflies and infatuation of the first six months together fades that it may make someone who has never been in love before question whether he/she loves the person there with? thats what i think happened w/ me. my ex had never been in a serious relationship b4 and i think he expected the fantastic feelings we had when we first started dating to last the entire relationship. once u've been together for a long time u get comfortable and lose the craziness of ur first few months 2gether. if u had never been in a serious relationship before could that make u think u dont love the person ur with nemore? my ex cares about me a LOT and still shows it to this day. he is there for me when i need him and talks to me a lot and tells my friends that he cares for me deeply and misses what we had 2gether. do u think maybe the first thing i wrote about may be why he dumped me??? i need ur opinions pleeeease!
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