PUflight

I think I could control myself trust me, I wouldn't want to ruin their wedding. I'm pretty sure that no matter what he's not invited. They absolutely hate this guy. I just think the whole situation, why do women do this kinf of a thing? I'll never understand........

Ok bear with me this will probably be long. I'm completely irate about things that have happened. So to sum up my gf of a year broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. We had what I would call an awesome relationship, the best I'd ever had. She pressured marriage on me within about 7 months and towards the end I started to feel the same, I even had started saving for a ring. So she broke up with me according to her because she needed time alone, didn't want a relationship, wanted to figure out what she wanted to do in life, etc....Leading up to this we had a problem, she had been talking to her ex, and decided to go visit him and spend the night, I was mad to say the least! So after that things changed dramatically all culminating with me finding text messages between her and him that were of topics that shouldn't be discussed when you're dating someone. So last night, I hung out with some friends that were originally hers, but I ended up bonding with them real well and now we're friends as well. The first thing they said was what happened? I said I didn't even know. They then stated that she had been flaky with them lately not returning phone calls, and left them a weird message saying that her and I broke up because we had been arguing too much, which it a complete lie. Well her friend ended up talking to her finally that night and asked her what's up, she said that she didn't want to talk about it but her and I aren't together. Her friend is mad, apparently I'm the first guy that she has dated that everyone has liked, gotten along with, and they all stated that we were so good together, the perfect couple. So her friend asked me the details and I told them how she had been talking to her ex, spent the night at his place, and the text messages. They immediately became mad, they all hate this guy apparently. And they told me all the crap that he had done to her in the past, before they started dating this guy raped her and while they were dating he cheated on her at least 5 times. Once trying to get with her friend that I was talking to. And we all came to the consensus that she lied to me and is back together with this scum bag. Well her friend is getting married this summer and I'm still invited to their wedding. My ex is in the wedding. And if her ex/ now current I suppose is there, there is going to be some problems. Like I hate this guy, I don't hate people but this guy I hate. He's a little weasel. He always called her and just sounded like a needy, piece of crap. Trying to not cuss. And this guy had the chance to meet me when her and I were dating but he refused to. This guy is 5'6" 140lbs wet if he's lucky, I'm about 5'11" 190lbs, I really want to rip his arms off. I'm seriously going to have a problem not beating him if he comes to this wedding since a. he ruined my relationship with the girl that I loved b. because everyone else hates him c. because of all the crap he had done to my ex. D. for raping her. So my question, is wtf is going on here? Is my ex that dumb to do this? Why do people do this? She's gone from a loving relationship with me to what I would consider hell. Anyone have any input that might make me less angry. Oh by the way, I've been seeing someone casually so it's not like I'm sitting here dwelling on this, last night just set me off big time.

So, we talked tonight for the first time in like 5 days over the phone. She ended up calling me after she had written the email. She was just blabbing away about stuff and all of sudden I pulled up to my buddies place and I told her I had to go, I was going out. She was so disappointed/shocked it almost felt good. I told her she could call me whenever and all she could mutter was ok, it actually felt kind of good. So that's the latest. In the meantime I've been talking to this other girl, so things seem to be going pretty well for me, I've got a back up going on.......

So I'm sitting here on my computer and check my email, and I get this from my ex out of the blue, makes me wonder what's going on here, I think my no contact thing is driving her nuts and she's missing me. So what's up with this? I tried to call you a few times this weekend/Friday. Maybe only twice, but still. Nothing important but just calling. Once it went straight to voicemail and another it rang and then went to voicemail, but I didn't' leave a message either time. I didn't know what to say and you know how much I hate messages- I barely check my own. In regards to the Orbitz thing, you can email, mail or just give it to me. All are an option you know. We could hang out or whatever... just not you staying the night or too extreme. I know that may be a pain. But the more I think about my pouting and being mad, it's silly really. I know and you know, that I didn't like what happened. However I think we both want to at least still be friends. I'm sorry for being so stubborn or pigheaded or whatever other adjective you can think of to describe my behavior. I didn't mean to be. I was angry, hurt and upset. My natural reaction is to push people away and while that isn't fair, I can't help but do so. If you want, you can email or call me back. I'll try calling you later as well. Have a good day.

Well she called today, I didn't answer so I guess that's a start. Didn't leave a message, I think I'll conveniently miss the next call from her too. It's tough but I did it

Thanks for the replies, yeah that's basically what I'm planning on doing. Backing off, not calling her, not bothering her. I'll leave all that up to her. I'm pretty sure she's going to end up missing me. We went from this perfect relationship, the best that either one of us has ever been in, and spending every evening that I wasn't sitting in a hotel together. I'm thinking she's going to get lonely and I'll leave that all up to her to make the move. In the meantime though, I've been looking for other options, eventhough she obviously is my first choice. I feel deep down that she's the one and I think she scared and confused herself by thinking too much about the future. We were so good together and everyone including mutual friends were in complete shock. So I'm going to show her I'm independent and don't need her in my life, eventhough I obviously do. I hate games, but it's looking like it's the only way to do this. I figure I'll go to that wedding with the hope of sparks rekindling but if there's still nothing I'm done.....

So my gf of a year broke up with me Monday, I'm 25 she's 23. Well herein lies the predicament. She still wants to be friends, so what do I do? She's called me a few times since we broke up and we talked about things,life and stuff. I have no idea why we broke up! She said she wants alone time, time to figure out her life, what she wants to do with it, etc and just doesn't want a relationship right now. She said I've been the perfect bf, never did anything wrong, treated her like a princess, etc. So I was like Why are you doing this? Our relationship had zero problems, we got along great, always had a fun time together, hardly ever argued and it was perfect. And everything was happy, then this came. It was a huge shock. She also stated that lately we were more of a friendship with physical aspects..isn't that what a relationship is? Last night she called and I was asleep, so she just left me a message, then she called again earlier this evening, but I was busy trying to get out of the airplane and get to the hotel (I'm an airline pilot), so I called her back. We talked for about ten minutes, How are you doing stuff like that. And then I decided to tell her that I wanted to casually date her, back off of all seriousness, marriage talk/living together talk. She said she didn't know, she was doing this for herself (the time alone, not dating people stuff) but she agreed that she wanted to remain friends with the possibility of getting back together down the road, but she also stated she doesn't want any pressures from me. No big deal, I told her we'll just know when it's right. So we talked a little then that was it.... So my question is what do I do? Is there a chance we'll get back together? I figured this much, it's foolish for me to wait around, but at the sametime if I decided to pursue other avenues, it'll obviously be the end of us. And I do truly love this girl and feel that she could quite possibly be the one. So I figured I'd wait around a few months, not looking but at the sametime not going to turn down an opportunity that might be good. Seems good right? Also here's another dilemma, haha. Her brother is getting married in June and she wants me to go with her, it would be a five day trip and I'm her date. So what's up with that? Is that the good moment as to where I figure out if something's going to happen or not? I think I have a great job that people envy, make good money, good looking, have a great personality, laid back and fun to be around, so I don't know what to do,lol Thanks for any help and sorry this is long, it's the whole story.

Alright here's my deal, I just got out of a long term relationship like a month ago and am new to this dating stuff again. So I met this girl this weekend through a mutual friend, her sorority sister and I can't get her out of my mind. We danced all night at the bars on Friday night, kissed etc. Then Saturday talked on the phone a little, and met up at the bars again, she left the bars, then left me a message to tell me where she was and I met up with her again. We danced again, kissed again etc. So I think I'm in a pretty good situation if she called me to meet up with her. So school's over in two weeks and I'm wondering when I should make my move. I want to ask her out for Friday, so I was wondering when I should call her to do this? I was thinking no contact with her until Tuesday unless she calls me first. If anyone knows how I should do this or has any advice, let me know. thanks!

Thanks for the response. Well she called me last night because she wanted to come over and cuddle, well she ended up staying the night sleeping with me in my bed, that was all strictly sleep. So now I further don't know what's going? Any more insight would be great, thanks!

Ok here's the deal. My ex and I dated for 10 months, have been broken up since the middle of August. She broke up with me. And ever since then I've tried to move on dated around and have seen two girls since then, but here's the deal. She was very bitter towards me which I'll outline later. Well on Sunday she IM's me asking me if I still hate her, I said no I never hated her, then she tells me that she doesn't know if she made a mistake or us breaking up was a good idea, then she says she drove past my apartment and started crying while listening to "What Might Have Been" by Little Texas and then she asks me if I wanna hang out sometime this week. Well we did last night. Things went well, I would say. We talked like friends for quite a while and were watching a movie and all of sudden she says don't you think this is weird. I was like no not really. Then she says I feel like I should be sitting next to you and cuddled up with you. And I said well come over here then. She hesitates and says it wouldn't be right. Well then I get up to show her something, she follows me and before I know it were holding and hugging each other, it felt great! She then goes to say wow, I missed that, I haven't been hugged like that in a long time. So then we go and sit down again and we're all cuddled up just talking and before I know it she kisses me out of the blue, we kiss awhile. Then we get to talking about why we even broke up to begin with. Here's the reasons. 1. I was in a massive funk about my career, I wasn't happy at all with it the whole time we were dating and it made me quite a bitter person 2. I didn't show her enough emotion. and 3. My best friend and her do not get along whatsoever. Ok #1 and #2 have been corrected I changed my career path and have become a much happier,more emotional person because of it. But there's my friend, I'm not giving him up for her, no way, I told her that he can have his own opinions about us but I'm doing what I want to do. So then we're just talking and she's like what do you want from this? I told her that I want to get back together, but not as serious as we were before, we were talking about getting married. I told her I still loved her and have missed her everyday we've been apart. She then tells me that she's missed me too, says that she's been having dreams about me and then goes to say watch we'll probably end up getting married in the long run. I said whatever happens, happens. She then says that I broke her heart big time and I told her that I'm going to fix that. She asks me why I love her and why I miss her, and I told her. Then we just held each other and talked for a while before I took her home. In the car she asks what I want from this again. I asked her now or Later? She says later. I told her to be with her in the end. She just smiles and gives me the look that makes me melt. So I drop her off give her a good night kiss. So today I talk to her and I ask her what exactly we established last night. And she said that she wants us both to do our own things and casually hang out and eventually maybe date again, exact words from her. What does that mean??? Does that mean we're back at square one? Am I allowed to see other girls? I wouldn't want to anyways, but just curious! Oh and on a sidenote, Friday would of been our one year anniversary so earlier today I ordered her a dozen roses with a pretty good note to her. So can anybody give me any insight here? Is there a chance we're gonna get back together? Or is she playing games with me? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!