nemo_lost

thanks everyone. i know she lives alone, and i'm confident she's not deaf (lol on that one, by the way). i have seen her out from a distance a few times and she's always kind of alone or with a girlfriend of hers. i heard from a friend that she's never really had a steady bf. she's the serious type, career driven type. are any of you ladies out there like that? can you shed any light on how a guy should approach such women? i agree with being straight up, and to lay off the games. i think ill bring it up next time we see eachother. i've avoided being 'confrontational' in fear of appearing needy. but the truth is i'm about ready to let this go, so ive got nothing to lose by being direct. i can only imagine how frustrating itll be if it gets more serious. bottom line is i'd like to spend more time with this girl, but hard enough to get her to say hi. who knows, maybe shell be impressed by my initiative.

Greetings All. Another Tale Of Why Women Are Weird. Oh Yeah, Need Some Advice On It Too. I Got To Know This Girl Soon After Moving To Nyc Last Summer, And Over A Couple Weeks We Went Out A Couple Of Times. But Then, It Just Sort Of Stopped. I Didn't Get A Call Back After A Couple Of Messages, So I Thought She's Probably Not Interested, Or If An Emergency Came Up She'd Call Me In Time. That Didn't Happen, So I Put It Out Of My Mind And Moved On, Even Though I Wondered What Happened. In My Opinion, We Had Good Chemistry. Anyway, I Ran Into This Girl Last Week (one Year Later) And I Brought It Up... Both Of Us Were Completely Confused, And It Seems Like She Thought I Wasn't Interested And I Stopped Trying??? Anyway, We Decided To Meet Up For Lunch. It's Like We Picked Up Where We Left Off. She Seems Really Into Me And Clearly I Like Her A Lot. But It Is All Really Weird Suddenly... Again! Whenever I E-mail, She E-mails Me Back With Enthusiasm. But When I Call She Never Picks Up, And When I Leave A Message, She E-mails Me Back With Saying She's Sorry She Missed My Call. So Here Are My Questions... 1) Am I Wrong To Think There Is Something Weird With An Email-only Dialogue. I Mean, Shouldn't Things Progress To Mostly Phone Conversations? 2) Clearly I'm Frustrated Becuase I Feel Like I Chasing Her And Getting Her To Get In Touch With Me. Only Once Has She Spontaneoulsy Gotten In Touch With Me - And Of Course, It Was By Email. A Friend Of Mine Once Said That If Someone Is Into You, They Will Make Time To Talk Even If They Are Seriously Busy. Do You Guys Agree With That (esp. You Ladies) Or Is It Possible You Just Like To Take Things Xtra Slow? 3) Am I A Moron? She's Either Not Into Me Or Seeing Some Else? So Confused.

I don't think you 'blew it.' Sounds like this guy is only after one thing and you're looking for something else. Sounds to me like you looked at this guy's picture and put him on a pedstal almost immediately! Just move on, he's clearly not your type and not worth it.

Whoa, don't beat yourself up over it. I wasn't trying to be critical... I understand now the humerous nature of the idea. But, in general, sending people pictures of yourself after a couple dates is a bit much. That's just my opinion, even if it is meant to be funny. I don't even take a picture with the person I'm dating until after a few dates (and that's a minimum). I think pictures have a HUGE impact on us. Imagine if he sent you a pic... you wouldn't just glance over it and smile, you'd probably look at every pixel. And what if he's not photogenic, you might get turned off for no reason. I think the point of dating is to reach a comfort level with someone so that they not only respect you as a person and not just as a face. Then again I'm single right now, what the hell do I know.

Uh... maybe I don't get this part, but why did you send him a picture of yourself? I know if I got a picture in an e-mail I'd be really turned off. He knows what you look like, sending him a picture is like asking him to print it out and frame it on his desk so he doesn't forget you or something. He still may get back to you... it's only been a couple days. I'd get ready to move on... p.s. is sending a picture common practice?

dude, have you guys kissed yet?

I guess I'm learning that a person needs to come off as interesting. I think the reason why "nice guys" take so long to find someone is that people need to get to know them, like coworkers or classmates. They aren't ineteresting right off the bat, but girls learn to like them once they realize that they are attracted to them. Flattery helps but isn't the momney maker with women... especially the ones who already know they're hot as hell!!!

First off, I'm looking for posts by guys who have been able to kick this disease to the curb, but ladies please chime in as well. I'm 26, recently moved into a city, and I'm having trouble getting girls to stay interested... I'm determined that I have Nice Guy syndrome (and I can't believe there aren't more threads about this on this forum!). Please help! I have learned that looks aren't really that imporant to girls... sure, maybe initally, but that changes depending on how they size you up. To elaborate on my example, girls often do double-takes with me and ask their friends who I am. I make a good living so $$$ isn't the issue. I've nailed down the Nice Guy issue becuase I think women expect me to be an from my appearance, then when I'm all "gentlemanly" with them they totally lose interest. I'm often told that I'm nothing like people expect... my best guess is that I come off as mysterious, but once I make a move or open my mouth that whole persona is chattered. My question is... how do you kick the habit!?!?!? The first things that come to mind are walking up to girls and grabbing their asses (in essense to be more of a jerk)... but it's clear to me that isn't the right solution. Is it true that if I don't show interest she will be captivated? IF that's the case, then how do you ask girls out? I mean, isn't that showing interest? Did I just kill the vibe? How do you ask a girl out without being sweet about it? So confused. HELP!!! - Nemo

Do you guys think I should suck up my pride and take all the blame for what happened? Make myself the villan 100%?

Need help with this one, not sure what to do... I'm 22/m and last week I stoped by my friends place (25/f) just to say hi and watch TV. We always stop by each other's places spontaneiously, and we've known each other since college (for about 5 yrs). Well, when I got there she was drunk after having lost her job. One thing sort of led to another we ended up "doing stuff" although we didn't actually have sex. It's been a week now and she won't even talk to me and it's killing me becuase I care for her and her friendship so much. It isn't too far off to assume she is either embarrassed/angry/betrayed or all those things and she doesn't want me in her life anymore, but is there anyway I can fix this? Please help, I really don't want to lose her in my life. I thought I've been strong about this whole thing and that in time she would talk to me about it, but I'm getting impatient.

Hey snoman... cool advice. If it helps any, we talked once about people we've dated and how she considered a date as dinner and maybe a movie (and blah blah blah how lunch or coffee isn't really a date). I said something along the llines of "like dinner and a movie like we've been on?" and she said "yeah, but those really weren't dates. It is ture I never suggested it being a date, and she probably assumed it was friends going out. I'm usually a pretty stong minded person, but given my current lack of friends I'm at a loss of experience. Thanks for the input dude!

So here's the deal... on the surface it's a typical "guy has a crush on girl friend" scenario that isn't reciprocated. But this one is different becuase I just moved to Chicago from Cali a few months ago. My job and living situation is such that I don't meet a lot of people, and everyone at work is older (I'm 24, everyone else is 40+). I've become friends with this girl, who happens to be very attractive, who lives a block from me and we met and started talking at the bookstore. I really don't have a lot of other friends. We have spent a lot of time together... movies out, movies in, dinner, even shopping! I've known her now for about 4 months but I'm sure she just wants to be friends. My dilemma is that I have a huge crush on her that's eating me up, but at the same time I can't afford to lose her as a friend if I say anything about it. A lot of posts talk about having nothing to lose by brinigng it up, but I think there is a lot to lose here, despite the fact that my life revolves around knowing what she's up to. I hate feeling this way, and I'm jealous when she hangs out with other friends of her's... perhaps because i'm lonely i want all the attention to myself? Any help or adive from anyone out there. I'm shy enough as it is!