lilgeorgy

What does it mean when someone says they have feelings for you? For example, if you were to ask an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend if they still had feelings for you and they responded "Yes, I have feelings for you, very strong feelings and I would tell anybody who asked me that I did and if they didn't like it too bad." What do you think?

So I saw my ex last week after seeing him the 2 weeks previous when he told me he wanted to ever do with me again and that he loved me very much but doesn't love me anymore and basically was very cold and very very angry. So I expected much of the same when I went to pick up my clothes but he was the total opposite. He had lost alot of weight and was very happy to see me. It was not what I ws expecting. I had brought a friend with me to help me with my things and she was surprised as well. He told me he had severe mixed feelings about me moving out and that he missed me very much. We talked about what happened in the relationship and he REALLY listened to everything I had to say and he seemed to understand my viewpoint. He said maybe we'll meet again down the road in a year or so and he said he wanted to be friends first (which was odd considering he always told me I was the best friend he had ever had) and then take it slow. He told me how much he always loved me and thought I was so beautiful. And I said he didn't do a very good job conveying that and he said he felt really really bad because he let me down and disappointed me. The entire time I was there he had tears in his eyes and he is a guy that doesn't show his feelings much. Then I said that Brooks & Dunn were coming to area in September and he said "never say never...you never know we might be going." Before I left I told him that I loved him every day I was with him and he said he's beginning to believe that more and more everyday.....part of the problem before was that he didn't believe I had feelings for him. I also took the chance because of the way he was acting to ask him if he wanted to meet me on May 28th (our anniversary) for a drink at the place we had our first date and he said yes...no hesitation. One more thing he said before I walked out the door was he said I had to promise him if we ever get back together I had to promise him the "sexy" nights out because if anyone is going to give them to him it's going to be me. He had told me that he was always looking for the woman who would do that for him. He still has all my pictures hanging in his office. I only removed my clothes and the rest of my things are still in the house. He hasn't contacted me to remove the rest which I am hoping he doesn't. He also told me that he has had various people staying over night at the house which I think is because he doesn't want to be alone in the house and a friend of his told me that he just hasn't been quite the same since we broke up and of course neither have I. I haven't heard from him since that night and I guess I am being impatient. Does this sound like a man who wants to work this out or am I kidding myself. I love him so much and this 2 1/2 month separation has shown me how much I do love him. Do I have a chance?

I sympathize with you, I really do. If you read my posts you can see I have been going through a difficult situation as well. There are things you said about this guy that sent bells off in my head because my boyfriend did the same thing on a few occasions. It seems obvious that this guy has had doubts not once or twice but many times about the relationship. As difficult as it is and I know it is, you need to walk away for now. Be grateful that he didn't do this when your lease was up and perhaps at a loss at a place to live. It appears that he has many doubts and honestly the way the two of you have broken before and each time gets longer tells me that he is not someone I could put my whole faith and trust in. He's not ready, maybe cold feet, maybe he simply doesn't know what direction he wants his life to take so what you need to do is step away. No contact...NO CONTACT. Let him have some time without you to se what he really feels and I think the only way for him to know is to stay silent and invisible. You will cry and you will cry alot and I really feel for you but you can't keep riding the rollercoaster. Time to get off.

I was up all night last night thinking about what everyone said and it is true, he did publicly humiliate me by placing that ad when it was intentionally to hurt me. I suppose when I saw it written in black and white I finally realized it. I kept making excuses for him and kept blaming myself when in reality I shouldn't have to apologize for what I write to myself in my journals when it is a private thought and a way of venting. Also the fact that before he took someone else's word he should have come to me and asked me if it were true, yet he did not. For the past 2 years I have been in cancer treatment and 2 weeks after my treatment was over and I was trying to regain my strength in order to go back to work and to a normal life, he did this. I suppose I made excuses for that too. Of course since all this has happened I have not been eating, sleeping, and have become quite depressed all the while waiting, hoping he would apologize but he has not. I have spent so much time blaming myself that I was refusing to see that he has treated me thoughtlessly and selfishly. In my heart I still love him, I always loved him but perhaps he wasn't the person I thought him to be.

this woman is someone he used to date 7 years ago and then they remained friends and he offered a job with his company which is home based. I believe now that she still has feelings for him although I know he doesn't for her. I did see signs but I just didn't want to believe it. She has been poisoning his mind about me helping to cause the "break" and ultimately the breakup. Does it sound like he could still have feelings for me? Or is a lost cause.

yes, a month and a half ago he told me wanted a break but he only wanted me to take what I would need for the next couple of months. I told him I would get in touch with him when he returned from his business trip and when I did he was very cold and I went on link removed to see if he put an ad on there because before he met me he had been on there. I thought if he put an ad on then he had made up his mind, well low and behold he did but not only an ad, one directly referring to how disappointing our realtionship was. (At the time I didn't realize he put that ad on hoping I would find it to hurt me because he said he thought I would be on link removed looking for another guy.........which I believe is what this woman told him and is utterly ridiculous!) SO I went to his house to face him about what I found and that's when all this happened. I caught him completely offguard and he was so angry. The next day he took the ad off and then I knew he wanted to hurt me because he said I said hurtful things in my journal. But now he hates me with the help of this woman and I am heartbroken because I think he will never speak to me again. ANd no matter what I say he doen't believe I love him and I do

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago yelling at me that he had read my journals and that I am 2 people and he doesn't want anything to do with either one of us and then saying that he fell in love with me the first time he ever saw me and he really loved me but he doesn't love me anymore. I have never seen him that angry and we have lived together for over 2 years. He said he never believed I had feelings for him which is totally untrue. He was yelling I never want anything to do with you again. I was completely shocked and devastated. This woman friend of his who I was also friendly with had gone and told him that I didn't love him and a bunch of other lies but when he read my journals he automatically believed her. There were only 3 entries and 2 of them I was upset with him and it was over a year ago!! These were private thoughts to myself and it was a place to vent but it didn't mean I didn't love him. I haven't been able to sleep and I just find myself crying all the time because now I feel he hates me. I still have all my belongings over at the house which I have not gotten yet because I am just too upset to face him. He still pays for my cellphone which he has not turned off and he pays for my gym membership which he paid for the other day. A man who works for him called me the other day and told me that all five 8 by 10 pictures of me are still hanging in his office where he has to look at them each time he sits at his desk. He said he felt if he really hated me and wanted nothing to ever do with me again those pictures would be gone. And one more thing, we had this little stuffed monkey that we named Simon and I used to act him out and my ex really loved this little stuffed guy but when I left I took him with me and I heard he went and bought another one exactly like Simon. If he hates me so much and doesn't love me anymore nor wants to ever have anything to do with me again, would he get something that every time he looks at it he will think of me? I just don't understand and I feel so terrible right now. Can someone please explain this to me?[/u]

It's been 3 weeks now since my boyfriend broke up with me saying he needed a break. I really feel like he was giving me mixed signals. He said things weren't working out and I agreed so I started to pack my things. A little while later I went to him asked if we could give it one more chance at which time he said he needed a break and he has alot going on in his life right now (which he does) and he needs to sort them out. He said for me to just take what I would need for the next month or 2 at which time hopefuly we can get back together. He said that is what he wanted and if things work out then I could give up my apartment and move in 100%. He said he wanted me to keep my apartment because he just wasn't sure but if we get back together it will be all or nothing. After everything I said he kept saying you are making it sound like we are never going to get back together and I'm never going to see you again (he said that several times). Of course at that point I felt perhaps he was just being a coward and just saying that but he did keep saying he hopes we get back together after some time apart. Usually when he has broken up with someone he says I think we should just be friends, he did not say that to me. I even thought when he went away on a business trip last week he would have sent an email to tell me to clear the rest of my things out of the house so he wouldn't have to face me and leave the keys (which I still have) but he did not. He even told my best friend that he hopes that some time apart will either bring us closer together or further apart and that he still loves me. When I left for the last time he said to me when will I hear from you (which I thought was odd because he was the one who wanted this break) and I didn't want to seem desperate so I said I guess when you come back from your trip we'll talk then and again he said I'm hoping we work this out. I suppose I thought I would've heard from him by now and although I sent him an Easter card where I told him I miss him and love him (no response from him), I have not called or emailed. We were together for 2 years and lived together for almost all that time. He also kept saying to me and he told my friend that he didn't think I have the same feelings for him that he has for me, which is not true!!! But I thought the longer I kept from calling him the more he would come to miss me. I felt that he wanted this break so thereforeeee he should make the first move but wouldn't he have made it by now? I feel like he has forgotten all about me and is happier now that I am gone. I'm so afraid he has found someone else already and he doesn't care about me anymore. What should I do? Is there any hope here? Was he giving me mixed messages? Any advice would be appreciated.

actually we have been together for almost 3 years and were living together since 10 days after we first met.

Here's my question. Is it better for your ex to tell you he needs a break from the relationship for a month or 2 and then to hear nothing from him still after a few weeks? Or if he says it's just not working out and I think we should be friends. Do people really take breaks from the one they love with N/C and then suddenly want to return to the relationship? Also the demeanor of the person who has done the breaking up. If that person has been different since.....in the words of his friends, "nervous and just not the same", is that a positive sign? Or if the "breaker" had really no intention of returning to the relationship, would he be as effected as if there was a possibility?

This is my first time here and I hope you can help me. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I have not heard from since. He told me he wanted to take a break and hopefully we will work things out and get back together after some time apart. Of course I am devastated. We have been together for almost 3 years and our realtionship really was a good one for the most part. We were even living together since 10 days after we first met. We were each other's best friend and did everything together. Now I feel like I never existed in his life and by not hearing a single word from him I feel like he has forgotten about me and moved on. I've had to move back into my old apartment that I had held on to and I'm not even really sure what I did to deserve this. I know he has alot of stress in his life right now and I know he has been feeling overwelmed but that wasn't anything new for him. He has always been a person that takes on too much. That's just who he is. I sent him a card for Easter telling him he was in my thoughts and that I love him and still nothing. I called his Mom yesterday as I was very very close to his parents to wish her a happy holiday and she was although polite, very distant even cold and I asked her to take my number in case she needed anything while he was away on a business trip and she pretended to write it down then saying I'm fine. Basically thanks but no thanks. I spent the rest of my Easter crying and so confused. I never expected to hear his Mom sound like that. We didn't even fight when we broke up in fact we both cried and he kept saying he hopes in a month or two we can get back together after some time apart. He even told me just to take the clothes I would need for that time. I just don't know what to do. Each day that passes I become more concerned about the silence. He never said we wouldn't speak for the entire time. I keep waiting for the mailman to bring a note from him telling me to make a time to come get the rest of my things. He told the same thing to my best frend that he hope we work this out and that he still loves me but just wasn't sure if I felt the same for him. He even told me that before I left which is ridiculous because I love him with all my heart. What do I do? Is this silence helping me or hurting me? Please help....I just don't know what to think.