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The ironic thing is i read back through some of my old posts about when i was trying to get my GF to look at me twice and now look at me! Reading through those posts makes me realise how much i do love her! Man im stupid! Thanks for all the help

haha, i know what your getting at but im totally not that type of person. I just dont feel like were going anywhere, I pick her up on saturday we spend the weekend together then i drop her off on Sunday night. That is probably the cause of the problem, were in this rut of extreme boredom. We cant see each other on weekdays because of our hectic schedules. So yeah i need to sort that, just writing this reply has made me realise what it is. So i guess these forums do work! Thanks

Hi all, thanks in advance for taking the time to read this! Me and my gf have been going out for a year and a half and its been full of great times. When we met we were both very different people to what we are now. Were both 19 nearly 20. I'm feeling at the moment that I want to get out and experience new stuff. I thought I loved her and maybe i did at some point but I'm just not sure at the moment. I feel sick to the stomach at the thought of not seeing her, but also excitement in thinking to the future. I've got so many prospects ahead of me after uni etc. I know she loves me to death and if I said anything like this to her she would be completely shocked and extremely upset. Which is why I'm here. Is it normal to feel this way after such a long serious relationship with someone, especially since I've known nothing else. It must be normal to be curious? I just don't want to go in search of something which i already have! Any thoughts desperately welcome!

I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder around 5 months ago and have been on betablockers to try and calm the symptoms. I decided that i didnt want to take these and decided to deal with it alone. Ive managed to turn my life around and im getting to where i want to be. However ive hit a major snag, ive exhausted everything i think is wrong with me. What i mean is, getting up to the stage where i am i could see things that were wrong with me that i needed to overcomb. However now i cant see them, its something inside me now which is still causing these feelings i have. Im at my wits end now mainly because i feel so hopeless. I heard about hypnotherapy and people have said it can be used to treat social phobias and anxiety. I emailed a place near me that specialises in the treatment and he sent me a friendly email back just with some information and it all sounded great. However im very skeptical about this stuff and wondered if anyone had any experience with hypnotherapy. Thanks in advance aj

Well first point, Newcastle is the best! The feelings you have towards them are quite strange to me, because you say you hate them. It kinda comes accross as you really want to love them and be with them but the fact you cant makes you resent them. Your there aunty so maybe as they grow up you can start having a more active role in there life but your only 16 so just chill about it. Your brother obviously isnt expecting anything from you, but maybe you could spend a little more time with them if you asked him. Thats if you want to. Also when i was younger i used to look upto people who i really do not like now, looking back they werent really nice people. Maybe it isnt your brother who has changed but you, you were 13 when he had his first and 3 years is alot of growing up. Maybe now your just seeing him as a differnt person through your new more mature eyes. Anyway i wouldnt stress about it too much, some families are very close and some arnt. One side of my family is always talking and together on matters whereas the other only really congregates on xmas and other events. Just depends on how they are. Andrew

The reason why im saying it sucks is ecause of the way she said it. totally sarcatically was i bothered? Is what she said which kinda puts me back on with her having feelings for me makes her somehow weaker, which is why she keeps this front up. making me know that what i feel for her she doesnt really care. why is this so complicated, gah

yeah i wasnt that drunk, ive kinda been wanting to tell her for a while. But if i had been sober im sure i would have done it a bit better. I guess were back to where we were before. Me having feelings for her and me not really knowing what she feels for me. So after all this im non the wiser.

Hey dude, thanks for all your help. Im not sure if it worked though. I just made a joke about having to much to drink and that im sorry for putting you through that. She basically just said she wasnt bothered about the conversation. That was it :S Which kinda makes me feel even stranger about it, like she wasnt really bothered at all about what i was telling her. Which kinda hurts too. Man this totally sucks.

yeah ill just keep her close, and let things pan out. Im just wondering what i should do now though after i have said all this to her. Should i apologise saying i was a bit drunk etc. or what? Just pretend it never happened.

Thanks for all the help, just a few points id like to clarify. You guys think im a nutter for going on about it this way but seriously this is the only way i felt i could get through to her. Ive been flirting with her for months with only mild returns, smiles etc. I just needed her to know exactly how i felt about her, rather than her thinking i was just joking about. I do hear you about forcing a decision upon her, that was pretty dumb. Its just i was hoping she would feel more for me then just a 'suppose so' or 'maybe'. Im just desperate for some closure, a yes a no. That is why i was so desperate for an answer. I havnt been clingy around her, although last night might have frightened her off. She isnt a very socialable person, she doesnt like a whole lot of drinking. Pubs, clubs anything like that. Which im down with because im not that sort of person either. Im kinda wondering what she thinks liking me will intail, does she think we will have to suddenly get really heavy with each other. All i wanted was a green light to continue trying to see her or take her out places, which she hasnt let me do yet. sigh, im just confused as to the best course of action, do i persist the way it was. Or just forget about her and see what happens.

Hmm where to start. Firstly id just like to say ive found this forum very informative and although this is my first post ive used it many times. A little background first me and 'this girl' have been good friends for over a year now going on 2 i think. She goes to the same school as me so we see alot of each other, have lessons etc. For the last year or so i have had these strong feelings for her and have been dropping hints like there is no tomorrow. She is quite shy so i wasnt expecting any drastic reponses. We dont see each other outside of school yet we talk alot on MSN and from my point of view we get on fantastically. Well last night was my 18th birthday and i had a few drinks and got the courage up to actually ask her outright how she feels about me. This is a major thing for me because im pretty shy too. The response was far from great, infact it was terrible. BTW i did this over MSN as its half term and i havnt seen her. I wasnt heavy or anything i started off jokingly as i usually do and she gave me the run around a bit and then i started to get a bit more serious. From the very start it was loads of 'i dont know', 'never really thought about it'. Which is probably where i should have left it, but i wanted a definate decision. So i kept pushing it, it got down to me explaining how much i like her and basically spilling my heart out which got no response either, just 'i dont know what to say'. After about an hour of this going on i asked her a few simple questions like, do you like me more than a friend to which i got 'i suppose so'. It made me so angry at how indecisive she was about it that i just said that 'i suppose so' isnt a proper answer and im gonna take it as a no. To which she said she was sleepy and was going to bed. Then she was gone. Im just kinda wondering where i go from here, i dont know how she feels or anything. She finds it extremely hard to convey any sort of emotion about anything. I kinda think she feels that if she says she likes me it is some kind of weakness, or is this just me trying to justify her actions? I can see alot of emotional baggage which sometimes escapes which could be the cause, again more wishful thinking? Id really like your thoughts on her actions please The ting which i find most strange is the total reluctance to even experiment. To just give it a go, people say im good looking i have a job, car, money. Ive asked her many times togo to cinema with me but there is always an excuse. Im just totally puzzled, ive never met anyone like her. If nothing is going to happen which looks pretty certain, what should i do to get over her. We have to see each other everyday, how should i react etc. Sorry for the long post, i look forward to your replies. Andrew