amouthindebt

wow thats a really good idea! especially the letter idea. i think the problem is i didnt get to know her enough know and then theres just all these thoughts lingering. i know i havent pressured her at all i only asked once. maybe i need to take a look at myself first and the way i percieve it? do i actually bring my problem to her and tell whats bothering me and then suggest the letter thing?

I have been going going out with this girl now for about a month. We are the same age and go to different schools. At first i thought it was a problem which would go away but it seems to persist and i dont know whats going on. This may sound kinda pathetic but shes really quiet. I struggle so hard just keeping a conversation alive! I would really like to get to know her better but she wont open up. i asked her once and she got abit angry and told me its because the things she thinks about are so deep and meaningfull she cant put them into words? Our conversations only ever contain small talk, and its killing me! Well that dosent help me out really The biggest problem i face is deciding wether or not to let her go or wether i should give her abit more time to warm up. also i cant say im dumping you because your too quiet, id never hear the end of it... well infact i probably would Do i keep on trying? advice is EXTREMELY welcome

"Never Feign affection. Neither be cynnical of love. For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass." - Deseterata

Being a guy ill see if i can shed some light, (hope its worth something) In my own opinion making mates with people from the opposite sex is a really great and mature idea! I love having girls who are just (and will always only just be) friends. It gives you a chance to ask questions about the opposite sex that youd never get from your usuall mates. its also really relaxing because it can release tension you usually get from not being able to communicate with the opposite sex. the biggest problem i can think of here is that finding your male buddy can be very hard (and im only being honest here) going looking for a male friend can produce very bad results. i only say this because of what i know of guys 14 - 18... this is because generally they are going to think you are hitting on them. Its very hard to find to find a guy whose not thinking with downstairs these days lol. But there are afew, My advice is go for a really nice, quiet guy who you usually wouldnt talk to (not a friends brother) Make sure you let him know like on the second meeting that you are just up for a friendship (its usually the quiet guys who are looking for one to) if you really want to gain a guys trust then take maggie18's advice, just open up with to him with the usuall winge and moan of female dialect (hehe, sorry ladies) and he will realise you are willing speak your mind and theres a good chance he will winge and moan back! Good luck "Dont worry you have the rest of your life to make friends, dont be such a drama queen!" - quote from my uncle (when i was going through friend problems)

For a start, have no doubt for one second that you are a bad person or that you need to try harder to be an even better person, you sound like a wonderful, loyal, caring friend that can actually be really hard to find. I agree with SkyFire when he said not to give 110% of yourself to people who do not deserve it. sometimes people can see an opurtunity in using somebody who is going out of there way to be nice. "Absense is your best form of defence" - quote from my mother but dont avoid the problem if it gets to big. You need to really question your friends and tell them how you feel. and if you are unable to do that then they obvioulsy arent worth your time and effort. Dont loose heart, you are a good person trying to fit into a world of corruption. Stay strong and stay yourself But dont stand for being sold short

You remind me alot of my mother who went through the same type of stuff that you are going through. Personaly i think you should be so proud of yourself that you have stayed. Alot of people take the easy way out by taking there lives and it is a selfish thing to do. Mom once told me that she would of takin her life if it werent for me and my sisters, which is why i respect you. you're kids NEED you, and trust me they'll thank you for it later i know im 17 now and i still thank my mother for being there for me and being strong. It does sound like up until now you have had alot of trouble in life, makes my probs with my girlfriend seem quite small actually. i think that you just need to hang on in there and stay away from people who you think will hurt you. sometimes the past can be scarring but it can also be a chance in later life to say, I MADE IT! i pushed though all of that bad stuff in my life and have settled down with my kids and am enjoying life! you have to be optimistic, pleaz believe me. also stick to you're friends, they are the best! you shuld try stick around people who are willing to help you out in times of need. This Web site was a GREAT choice I know it might be hard to take me seriously because i am only 17 but pleaz try on the passing away of friends and family, A mate of mine drowned about 4 months ago. he was 18, and damn it hurts like hell, i know what you feel. my grandma also died recently. my point is the pain does pass eventually. dont get me wrong there will always be a scar there but think of them smiling at you wanting you to be happy In some of my Grandmas last words (and her most famous quote)... Lifes not fair and i agree, sure you can to its a fact of life one we must all persevere Good luck girl, you'll be fine