jr71

I didn't expect the turkey day call - but when I didn't get it I had a dull pain in my chest -- well ..all day and today. It's been 4 months and I've come along way but all of a sudden I feel the way I do when it first happened... I guess holiday's will do that to you. I've been cleaning for the past 3 hours - getting my mind off of it - maybe I should just keep vacuming for the next 6 months I got the same line - let's be friends I can't imagine you not in my life - such crap..

These emails are really helping me. I'm 14 days not contact - it's tough - especially when they sit 4 doors down from you at work. It's really hard to believe that someone who you could love so much now has no interest in your life. I think about it all the time - I wonder if he does - I wish it wouldn't matter so much. Getting threw the holidays will only make us stronger. After all what's the worse thing that could happen - we all went threw the pain of the break up already. It can't kill us - and Jan. 2 it's all over. Good luck to everyone.

Decided to take a vacation -thought I would run away from my problem for at least 4 days even read "don't call that man" on the plane. I only cried once when I was away. I didn't even have that feeling when I got back - like I had to call and share it all with him. Got to work today - he tells me how much he missed me - wanted to hear all about my vacation - and that he called me last night to see if I got home okay but I wasn't home - he did't leave a message. I started telling him about the trip - I was all excited - and as I spoke I could see the look on his face - I think he was getting nervous he started backing out of the office - he said I really can't chat I just wanted to know if you had a nice time. I told him he was giving me mixed messages - he said what mixed message?? it's not like I want to get back together I just wanted to see if you had a nice time. This is also after I said to him last week - I need to try no contact for a while - for a month - it's something I need to do for myself. He thought that was foolish - doesn't understand why we can't talk. I told him I can't be friends with you and then have you tell me you met someone - He said I'm not thinking about that - I wish I could just kick him out of my office and out of my life - I feel so weak - I still love him - even though as the days pass I'm realizing he is truly nuts. I found out today we are going to be working very closely on an upcomig project - I just can't catch a break. I'm not going to quit my job for this person - I'm a pretty tough chick - but this whole thing has turned me to mush... can anyone help?

We were together for 3 years - he was the love of my life. We broke up once because he couldn't move forward - got back together.. and a year later it is over for good. Not only did I love him madly but I truly liked him - he was my family. It has been 3 months and I am actually starting to have my good days - when I don't wake up with anxiety - the feeling like a fist is in my chest. Mostly though, I am constantly thinking about him - missing him. We work down the hall from each other. I can go about 7 or 8 days and then I loose it. I know he is down the hall - I don't want to lose the connection - I start to sweat and i call him. He tells me he can't be in a relationship right now and he loves me - I hang up and cry - but in a sick way it makes me happy because at least we are still connected and i know he still loves me. The rational me really knows nothing will ever come of this - but it's so hard. I try to avoid him and can do so for a few days - and then there he is in the elevator - and it's like the wound is ripped open.. I don't know how I am ever going to heal. Any advice from anyone?

I just joined tonight and read you post - and feel so much better that I am not the only on who has to put a "don't call him" post-it on my phone. I sit and stare at the phone - and think rationally - this won't make anything better - and then the next thing I hear is hello - and I have made the phone call. It's been 3 months but I still miss the routine of talking - picking up the phone when something happy or sad has happened to share with him. What do you do to keep from calling?? I guess i should also say that we work down the hall from each other. It's hard knowing he's right there and doesn't want to speak with me. I try so hard not to call but it only lasts to date - about 8 days at a shot. Anyway - good luck to you - it seems like you are making progress ..