fallen

to the last poster -- yeah, that girl definitely likes you! If you like her, ask her out she'll say yes for sure! I don't really know that much about flirting so I can't help, sorry. But one thing I know is that your pupil dilates, although I usually don't even notice something like this. But subconsciously you are supposed to =) Umm..also they might stare at you, get a bit flustered around you (depending on their personality - or they might get more confident around you if they're trying to show they're cool and confident..I usually become more confident.) They might also be more friendly to you than they would to normal acquaintances. I'm not a big flirt, so I usually just tend to be nice to people and compliment them on stuff, look more deeply into their eyes, hold their gaze for a few secs. longer than normal, and hope they get the hint. Oh, and yes, I will also try to laugh at what they say, to boost their ego a bit, if it's remotely funny. So maybe I'm not such a bad flirt after all..seems like normal stuff to do Hope that helped, fallen

Hey QM, Wow, you're right this is a lot like my situation! I wrote my crush a similar e-mail, almost parallel in form actually, hehe. His response was also curt & professional. But perhaps he's just not really an e-mail person? How is like in person..does he give you any hints of liking you? Body language counts for more than words in this game.. but if not, then yeah I would say move on. That's what I'm trying to do, and it's quite a painful process..but you only live life once, you shouldn't get hung up on one guy.. And I agree with what Bob said on dating in general. Don't give up on dating guys in general of course, but give up on this guy..unless you get some sort of hints from him and you're still interested. But otherwise, there's plenty of fish in the sea..they might not be as amazing, but hey..eventually the right one will come along..

Initiate a conversation with her. Ask her how she likes the course, if she knew the homework, etc. School is a great tool of conversation (for me anyways.) Then there's certain signs you can look for -- if she looks flushed, sorta nervous, dilated pupils, if she's enthusiastic to talk with you..I don't know if those are typical signs you'd find in some handbook but something that could give it away I suppose. HTH, fallen

It could really mean either..the only real way to confirm is to see a ring. Although you shouldn't really be pursuing it either way. My guess is actually the opposite - that it probably means long-term girlfriend. This is just from my experience..if he recently got married he'd probably want to call her his 'wife' just because the guys I know who recently got married are so proud of it they want to mention their 'wife' every opportunity theyget. It's sorta cute. =) But..it could just be that they're a common-law marriage. If it's long-distance though, that could also be a clue that they're more committed to one another & have probably been dating for a while, especially if he's in another country for work.. But yeah, it's really hard from this to tell. Just try to tease it out of him next time you talk with him. I would guess it means a long-term relationship though. And it could definitely mean marriage so my advice is either way to back off a little..

That's really tough..I think the way you're planning to go about it is ok though, if you know he's really self-conscious & will take it really hard if you break up with him now (especially since it seems you've been giving him mixed signals.) Maybe after the phone call & e-mail today he'll start to detect a certain distance as well, though, so it won't be so much of a surprise. Good luck with it..I bet it will really hurt him, but he'll get over it soon enough. The fact that he's in a different country might actually make it easier..at least there'll be no contact..

Hey, That's awesome, thanks! As a girl NoComply I have to say that I do the same thing as you -- get to know a guy well first before really seeing him as boyfriend material. But not so good friends that it's hard to see them otherwise -- just as acquaintances. It seems to be the best technique. =)

Thanks edudlooc13, I think that's probably true with most guys (at least for most guys 17+..younger guys may still feel a bit insecure/uncomfortable about making conversation..) But I think that's true for both sexes..that's what I do as well..I'm not incredibly flirty though either.

I saw this thread for girls & thought I'd add one for guys. =) Please also say your age if it's not already shown. Thanks. Hopefully this will give me some new insight.

Thanks Scout, I think I'll send something close to that e-mail..and you're right, I will appear & feel like the bigger person in the end. =) Thanks guys, fallen

Thanks for the quick reply -- that does help a bit. It is embarrassing to have not been in a relationship by my age as well..I just wish I would have seen that he was too good for me from the beginning I guess; the fact that I was deluding myself hurts most. I'm usually quite a rational person, but that part of me seems to have flown out the window.

I just made a mistake..I was obsessed with this guy for the longest time. I met him over the summer at my college (we were in the same class.) One day he sat beside me & we got in a conversation about an upcoming essay which went on for quite some time..we were still talking for about 20 mins after class ended actually. I thought there was a chemistry between us but I was wrong..I didn't know he had a girlfriend. He gave me his e-mail address & phone # if I ever wanted to talk about any more assignments..it was all innocent. We talked a bit more before the final exam over the phone, and I felt such an attraction for him although he seemed pretty neutral on the other end, thinking back. ANYWAYS, I sent him an e-mail a few days ago telling him that I had feelings for him (since we don't have any classes together I thought I might not see him again) and if he wants to meet, as we never had much time to get to know each other in class..I also sent him a friendly message about my classes and asked how his were doing..just to make conversation I guess. In any case, I just received a reply from him saying that he has a girlfriend, was never interested & can't believe I interpreted that as anything more than just being friendly. He also never commented on my other stuff. It was really brief. Now I just feel really really stupid. Mainly because I've never had a boyfriend before and thought that I might have actually found someone. I just feel so depressed..I thought my feelings were somewhat justified but the way he put the e-mail just makes me feel like such an idiot. I also feel stupid because I should have realized he really was too good for me from the beginning..he's an athlete at school, on student government, has an amazing personality, great looks, along with straight As and is applying for grad school this year. I'm sure lots of girls hit on him.. I just feel so dejected. It's hard enough for me to meet people I think I click with, nevermind those I actually do. I don't really know why I wrote this, sorry for the length. I guess any advice for getting over this stupid slump would help..I don't really care if I bump into him by chance again, I can act confident & such as I usually am.. but right now I feel really broken because I liked this guy so much and now see how pointless and stupid it was..that he wouldn't have liked me in any case..ugh I just can't concentrate on anything right now (I should be studying and none of my friends are online.) Thanks in advance.. fallen