Confused Girl

Just my 2 cents is that don't surpress your feelings- say what you feel. If he cannot respect you then its not meant for you to be with him. I understand that you don't want to be naggy, but at the same time- it takes 2 to dance and it seems like this is very one way. Is there a reason that he hasn't wanted to see you? Do you think that he is wanting You to break up bc he can't possibly face the fact of hurting you again? Could this be? I might be wrong but just my assesment.

No, I never said it. My family and friends do say that this is a blessing in disguise as I would have had a lot of heartache on my hands if he got truly caught up to the point where I was living in an apartment with him or had a ring on my finger and he realized that he didn't want to be with me. For a female, hearing that someone wants to spend the rest of their lives with you is just as wonderful as I love you. SO i was happy that he was saying that. However, I feel that it was odd that he wasn't "in love" when he was saying those things. He has NEVER EVER said I love you to anyone. So looks like he needed to get out.

Thank you, this makes sense and good to hear an outsiders opinion. It all just came as such a shock when he broke it off. I do feel that it does have to do with me - and we were on complete different pages. Had we never spoken about engagement/wedding- then I would have never expected to hear I love you. It just seemed that everthing was so out of order and he did say that his feelings faded and it "wasn't there for him" anymore. It is so hurtful to hear that. Also up until the last minute that we were together - he was still talking about future things ex: Living Together.. So was it all a lie?

My ex b/f and I were together for a year- he is 29 and I am 26. He has never said I love you before to anyone not even me- albeit being very vocal about engagement to me, living together with me, our future plans, what our children would be like- . I look back and find it so bizarre that this person talked so heavily about our future yet never said I love you and I asked him- why he did that and he said he got "caught up". We are broken up as of almost 3 weeks. Does anyone think its weird that he didn't say I love you yet we were talking about getting married?

we dated for about 8 months. we were very serious and we were not friends really before. we just instantly started dating. he made a very clean break.

Is this helpful? My ex has refused contact and I am wondering if he is doing it for the benefit of us both.

thank you all for writing back. i appreciate the advice... Its just a little scary that he hasn't called. i am sure he knows that he acted like a jerk and really doesn't have anything new to say. I guess the time will help him see what his life is like without me.

thank you your advice makes me feel better. i don't plan on calling. its just a scary time bc in hindsight there are a lot of things i wished i said. its concerning as to why he hasn't called me back but then again we broke up 5 days ago and maybe he is sorting out his emotions. i am a confident person and i have faith in him - if he were to call, this is an easy bruise to patch. no shame in taking things slower. its not like we had a specific move in date, or had a ring or anything like that. i guess he just needs to gather his emotions.

Thank you guys for writing back. I do want to give him time if it takes saving this relationship. I have been in situations like this before and I haven't respected the persons space/time... and kept calling, emailing, etc... I am just confused bc so many things were mentioned (space, confusion, break up) that maybe he is officially done. But time will reveal.

I am very confused. I have been dating a wonderful person for about 8 months and we have had a very open, honest, healthy relationships. I am 26 and he is 29. No bumps, barely any arguments. We spoke about our future and how happy we were to enter the next phase (rings, weddings, living together, etc..) The only arugment we encountered was about the fact that he didn't say "I love you". He has never said these words to anyone. I was feeling it and we were talking about such serious topics, I was uncertain as to why he didn't say it. He responded with his actions speak loud and I trusted that- bc they did and this was backed up with him discussing future plans. We were so so happy about our future together. Then OUT OF THE BLUE, he flipped. He was overwhelmed with his professional life and then he said he wanted space, feels pressure (meanwhile he put the pressure on himself). He needed time. I said how much time, what do you mean do you need a week, a month, 5 months and he replied "i hope it doesn't take that long". What does he have an agenda in mind? I said what do you think I am going to be here waiting? He replied "i hope you would wait but I can understand why you wouldn't" He said "let me flip out". So I just tried my best to hold it together and bring him to his senses but he said that "he didnt want to be in this relationship anymore". So we left the conversation - broken up. We were done. My fear is that he wanted space and he knows the person I am and I really don't do well with space, thus his only choice to think about things was to break up no matter how cruel and painful it was. He had ample time to bring this up to me and we could have worked it out but he showed no warning signs of a break up or him being unhappy. If anything he kept it in-zero signs. This happened 5 days ago. I did nothing wrong. I was faithful and devoted in our relationship and I am not blaming myself one bit. I called on Sunday and he never returned my call. Does he need time? Will he comes to his senses? Its not like him to ignore my call- does this mean he is over the relationship or is he trying to sort through his emotions??? When we were breaking up he agreed that he could be making the biggest mistake of his life. Someone please give me some advice. Will calling push him further away?