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boltnrun

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Everything posted by boltnrun

  1. boltnrun
    Thank you. The biggest issue was that I feel so awful. My head and throat feel the way they always do when I'm fighting something off or when I have a cold or something. However, it might have actually helped because I had little energy to freak out about not being able to wash or sterilize constantly. The whole day was a fog. I'm waiting for my hair to dry and then it's off to bed. I have the weekend off and then I'm back in virtual classroom manager training until Thursday. Hope you are doing well.
  2. boltnrun
    Thank you. Sending one your way too.
  3. boltnrun
    My city has started to reopen. People are rushing to restaurants, shopping centers and salons. I had takeout for the first time today. A sandwich paid for at work. Out of necessity I had to relax some of my self protection routines. There was just no way to not touch things and I had to repeatedly take my reading glasses off and put them back on. I just couldn't hand wash or sterilize every time, so I just gave up and didn't do it. I didn't touch my nose or mouth. And I did have a mask on. About 125 people in the building. And I have a wretched sore throat. I felt like hell all day. No fever, no cough. I'm tired...
  4. boltnrun
    I feel guilty for praying that someone close to me who had to get tested, tests negative. This person works with someone who tested positive and is currently waiting for the test results. This is someone I care deeply for and it would be devastating for me personally if this person tests positive as it will impact someone else dear to me. But as I pray, I feel guilty for asking since so many others prayed and their loved one still tested positive and became ill. So, why should my loved one be spared when so many others were not? Yet, I still desperately want my loved one to be spared anyway. I am fearful and anxious, not just for myself but for my loved ones. When I imagine months if not years of living in fear and anxiety I can't even fathom how that will be. How can we all live like this?? However, one thing I know about humans is they adapt. Some resist adapting and others are able to adapt more easily. I just wish people were more considerate of those who are more fearful and who are not adapting as easily.
  5. boltnrun
    Too late for the US!
  6. boltnrun
    Oh, I agree. It's just thoughts going through my mind, that others in my zip code are acting like the pandemic isn't a thing, then others like me are being super cautious. I would love to be able to relax some of the elaborate routines my OCD brain came up with, but I do believe the pandemic is a thing so I don't feel safe doing that.
  7. boltnrun
    I don't know what to think. My zip code has one of the largest number of cases, yet people are not wearing masks, are not practicing social distancing and are gathering at food trucks and other places. And I have no idea if any of those people are getting sick. It makes me wonder if all I'm doing to try to stay safe is not really necessary! Should I just go out like there isn't a pandemic going on like those people, or should I continue on with all my routines I developed out of fear and anxiety? Then I think, maybe there's a middle ground somewhere between callous disregard and anxious fear. I just don't know...
  8. boltnrun
    My friend has been taking her 1 year old child to daycare during the entire shut down, so I wonder how it was determined which daycares could stay open and which ones had to close. This is in the US, of course, where every state and practically every county has different regulations.
  9. boltnrun
    I totally get the economic impact for people who cannot work and who have no alternative means of income and little to no savings. I can't imagine the fear and stress. I also can't imagine having to choose between feeding your family and trying to avoid being exposed and/or becoming ill. I truly fear going to work but I do realize I am fortunate to still have a paycheck coming in.
  10. boltnrun
    My kingdom for a can of Lysol disinfecting spray... PS: Not spray cleaner. The stuff you spray into the air.
  11. boltnrun
    I think I got about 6.5 or 7 hours. I went to bed at 8:30 PM and had to be up at 5:30 AM. Woke up once or twice but not for my usual 3 hours. Amazing how depression feels less when you get a good sleep.
  12. boltnrun
    Well, there are plenty who don't believe it's a thing. They say more people die from the flu or whatever. My cousin still insists hospitals are empty, and reposts articles that claim the doctors and nurses who are interviewed are "actors". All I can do is try my best to protect myself, and stay away from my family despite loving and missing them. I love them enough to stay away from them.
  13. boltnrun
    Good thing you didn't see the food trucks that are apparently allowed to be open now in my city. A few blocks from my home. People lined up about 2' apart, no masks. Zero social distancing. And, apparently, not worried at all. My zip code has a LOT of cases compared with the rest of the county, but these people didn't seem to care. Not much social distancing at the grocery store either, and very few people were wearing masks. It almost seems inevitable to me that I will be exposed. Hopefully I can fight it off or get lucky and not be exposed.
  14. boltnrun
    Thank you Batya and Seraphim. Believe it or not, this forum is helping me a LOT. I feel less alone when I can go on here and see how everyone is doing. It makes a difference. One of the things that was causing anxiety was the back and forth with work. They change my shift from week to week and also keep moving my move date back. I explained that regardless, I must be out of my current rental before the end of this month, so they need to let me keep the training schedule they gave me 3 weeks ago. Fortunately they did agree, so that is a relief. Normally I would be loving this opportunity and the training I am getting. But having to be in a relatively small building with 115 to 140 other people is stressful because I fear getting infected. And it impacts how I am being trained, it's just not effective when someone is standing 6' away trying to show me how to do something. If this anxiety does not get better I will have to contact my PCP for help. I can't stay up any longer, I have had about 12 hours of sleep total starting from last Thursday night. And none at all last night. Anyway, enough about me. How are you all doing? Are you getting nice weather?
  15. boltnrun
    Horrible anxiety :( I have to attend 8 hours of virtual training today and I literally did not get one minute of sleep. This insomnia is out of control. I keep getting jerked around by my employer, they have changed my move date 3 times already and tried to move it yet again. It would have required me to either drive to another state and stay in a hotel or fly and stay in a hotel. Who feels comfortable flying and staying in hotels these days??? I was able (with a LOT of help from a wonderful coworker) to get them to stick to the date they gave me most recently. So that is one relief. Nothing I try works for sleep. I have been moved back and forth from day shift to overnight shift and back again. That isn't helping at all either. I really want the next 3 weeks to go by quickly. Being alone during this pandemic is really messing with my mental health. Even if I can't see them in person, it will be a HUGE comfort to be near my family.
  16. boltnrun
    I saw a small crowd of people lined up about 2 feet apart at a couple of food trucks near my house yesterday. I am glad the food truck owners are able to make some money, but why no enforcing of social distancing? And none of the customers were wearing masks. Only about 25% of the customers at the grocery store were wearing masks and no social distancing being adhered to. And my zip code has one of the highest case counts in the county. I can see why.
  17. boltnrun
    Interestingly, some of the protestors are now testing positive for the virus. And they are complaining that they shouldn't have to quarantine because it violates their civil rights! How about being moral enough to not want to infect other people?? Funny, as you say, that they have become infected with something they claim doesn't exist. How does that work??
  18. boltnrun
    I just bought a small HEPA air filtering machine to use in the moving truck since I HAVE to move in about 3 weeks. I figure I'll put it in there 30 minutes before me and my friend and my cat get in for the drive, just in case someone else got in there earlier. I am on the hunt for some Lysol spray to spray in the truck also before we get in, plus to spray in my new apartment even though it's been sitting completely empty for weeks AND to spray in the hotel room we are going to have to stay in overnight (still rethinking that one, we may just stay in the new apartment overnight which should be WAY safer). I am also buying a larger air filtering machine to keep in my apartment to clean the air for when I get home from work and from grocery shopping in case I bring anything icky home with me. And as you said, Wiseman, it certainly helps with allergies. I am moving from the desert to the beach area where flowers grow prettily but also my sinuses do NOT like. It will be so nice to see my kids in person, even though for their protection I will keep distance and not hug them. I do wear a mask and gloves and then wipe down groceries with a Handi-wipe and Clorox spray cleaner. I realize it might be risky that the bleach cleaner will soak through the food packaging and onto the food itself but I'd rather take that chance than possibly have the virus on my groceries. And I did read that although the virus technically "lives" on surfaces, it isn't nearly as infectious hours later. But I'm still wiping everything down and then changing out of my clothes before going inside my home. Ugh...I fear this is how I'll be for the rest of my life. I'm older (50's) and I can totally see myself acting like the world is a cesspool of infection forever. Right now I run from people and I hate that I might always feel that way. I sure hope not. Pretty day outside. If I can get some motivation I might go for a drive.
  19. boltnrun
    My cousins posted a status on Facebook. They are having dinner at their local sushi restaurant that just reopened. Sigh...They live in another state hundreds of miles away. They have school age children. I really hope it turns out OK for them. I certainly don't want them to become ill.
  20. boltnrun
    SO many people at Lowe's without masks! Holy smokes! Stitches out from my tooth extraction was done this morning. Doctor says I healed very well!
  21. boltnrun
    Say what??
  22. boltnrun
    At least at my workplace they actually take our temperatures, tell us what our temps are (mine was 98.2 last time) and then direct us to grab a mask if we don't already have one. And on the mask cart there are wipes, disinfecting spray and paper towels. Someone got written up the other day because she took her mask off. Her excuse was "well, I'm hot!!!" These are the same people who complain loudly that the business should be shut down and workers be paid anyway because we're not being protected enough. Well, they're trying, but people keep crowding together and taking their masks off!
  23. boltnrun
    Peoples' behavior is not going to change if they don't want it to. There were lots of protests over the so-called "Patriot Act". Heck, I remember the screaming fallout when it started being mandatory to carry auto insurance! Some people will adhere to social distancing guidelines. And some will not. I wonder what the plan is for the people who are found to not be following guidelines. They sure can't arrest them because where will they put them? They can fine them but many people don't have money to pay fines or will just not pay them, so then what? Anyway...I'm at the point where I realize all I can do is protect myself to the best of my ability. Beyond that I have zero control. I am happy that I don't have to report to the workplace in person for a full week!
  24. boltnrun
    I'm glad you tested negative.
  25. boltnrun
    I read they are only giving families 3 days to claim the bodies of loved ones. Many cannot make that 3 day deadline. So sad about the doctor. The impact of what they're doing must be overwhelming. And yet, my cousin claims all hospitals are standing empty... At work last night I returned from eating lunch to find a worker throwing up into a trash can about 3 feet from my open laptop. And they gave him my chair to sit in. Poor kid, but I went on a sterilizing frenzy. And I sure didn't sit on that chair anymore!
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