jerwei

hi scout i need to clarify some stuff here. I went into his place AND room with his family's permission. I didnt look through his stuff the way u said it. yes it is his stuff, but they are the stuff i gave him. 2 boxes, ya know gift boxes, thereafter he used them to hold everything abt us...? everything i looked at, i'v seen before. maybe this is a serious act of intruding into someone's privacy. but i think i didnt go beyond the line. n yes i don deny tt this guy has well, moved on and would not come back. thanks for the reminder.

erm, ya it was actually directed at Brandell and anyone who has any comments abt tt. i'm sorry the question has caused some annoyance to u brandell. it was just a question i cant seem to understand. maybe i'm not mature enough to realise it. (i'm 22) peace always

Sometimes, i just don understand. u love her.but u dont wanna see her?

yah, one of our issues is that he feels that i don respect and trust him during our relationship. but to me, thats totally an accusation i feel i'm innocent of. i have told him that i'v always respect, love and trust him as my boyfren. He said that my actions do not reflect the above....and he cant keep telling himself that I really do respect n trust him when he feels the other way round. thats why i feel i'v been misintepreted in many ways. he says its his intepretation. he has the right to think anything abt me. cos its HIS thinking. if i wanna change his thinking, i gota show it to him.well. sad. love, trust and respect. they'r all shown in different ways.........

anw, just to add. i brought a cake and a present to his doorstep on his birthdae. he din even say a word of thanks. i mean, its down right freaking rude! when i actually asked him abt it, he told me those were not wat he wants. I'm like, do you only thank a person whos given you a present that you want? NO RIGHT? Anyway, i was thinking, hes in not much of a position to WANT anything right? why should he even be wanting something outa me? why should he be expecting something outa be when i'm someone he doesnt like anymore. You dont expect/want something outa just anyone. TO me, when u have that expectation in your heart, THAT person should be someone close. well, at least not a person like an EX u'v dumped. no?

HI ppl I'm just very curious to find out from you guys, especially those who have broken up with your ex gfs before. What exactly is going through your mind when you tell ur ex " I need time.In the mean time, leave me alone". So, my ex told me all that. he also told me that we'v never be together again. One of my frens told me those words kinda contradict. i duno.... its been 5 mths since we ended a 1+ year relationship.even had 1 year of frenship prior to the r/s. Hes been becoming more n more like a stranger. Used to sometimes tok to me when i call him. but now, he totally ignores me and shuts me out. What the heck is going through his mind? Yes i really do admit that I havent exactly been leaving him alone. cos i miss him jz too much and of course, still hope for a second chance. Not long ago, before he hung up my fone call, he said " if you still wanna patch things, stop calling me". Tts after he told me we'd never be together again. contradict? well now, hes even said he doesnt wan the frenship anymore. i suspect he said it in the spur of anger, just to make me give up. maybe i'm wrong.i do not know. anw, i'v return everything that he gave me during the r/s. Went to his house lately(he wasnt around), and i found that he kept everything that i'v given him. even the most crumpled note that i stuffed on his bike. Even the small little notes i gave him AFTER we broke up, he kept them. If he seems like the heartless man hes showing me, ignoring me and shutting me out and all, why is he keeping those things? and the foto album i gave him, filled with our photographs stands on his table alone. MAybe all these are just insignificant stuff...i dunno..... Sometimes i just dont understand..... Could u pple give me some comments, enlighten me? esp guys....thank u....again.... all the best and good luck to everyone here! smile! =)

you know wat? i'm thinking, its easier for a guy to get a girl back. but its so much harder for a girl to get a guy back... comments?

well hes 2 years older (24) n we'r still undergraduates. its the hols now, we'r both intern-ing.so hes playing online games during all his free time... yeh, hes asked me to give him time, leave him alone. guess its extremely difficult to totally not cotact someone so close to heart. but wats the point/purpose to give him time n leave him alone when he already told me we will NEVER get bac again. he was the one who said before that he wanted me to be his fren and in his life no matter wat. well that was said during the r/s. now, hes telling me theres only a slight chance we can be frens. isnt it soooo annoying and frustrating? its like, hes lying to me....anw, he hasnt fallen for anyone....we'r both still single....reason for break up is tt he doesnt see a future in us, hes got no more feelings for me n tt our personalities clashed...anw, we were frens for 3 years, together for abt 1 year, 3 months...so theres definifely a basis/foundation in this r/s...jz don understand y its become like this...so depressing....

just wondering....n i need the male perspective here. y does a man cry when he asks for a break up? i would think it just shows he still feels for the r/s and the girl. would a man with no more feelings for the girl cry when he asks for a break up? twice it happened.... n even during one of the conversations we had abt 2 months ago, he cried while explaining to me the "mistakes" i made during our r/s. he just keeps saying we'll never be together. i totally hate that word, never.seems like theres no leeway n theres no room for any compromise or recoucilation....how? any advice/comments? anw.i'm not tt young.22...o well...

well i know its best to leave him alone.he himself said that....he also did say during and after the r/s that he wants to be my fren no matter wat.but now, he says theres only a SLIGHT chance we can be frens. thats very agonizing to hear. seems hes lying to me. maybe i have pushed and pressure him to that extent....i dunno... i jz simply hate it that hes saying we will NEVER be tog again. seems like theres no leeway for me...yet he told me this "when u love something, learn to let it go. if it comes back, it is yours forever".now how does never n it coming back coincide together? all he does all day is play computer games.only goes out when his frens ask him out. but he jz refuses to even see me...keeps telling me will see how, next time.......hmmmmmmmmm i'm soo confused by his actions....sometimes its never.sometimes its maybe. !?!

hi, i'm new here. hope to get some advice for my sticky situation. well, me n my ex broke up 4 months ago. he tried to break up with me twice, but both times i managed to persuade him to come bac. but our relationship was never the same. in the end, due to the stress, i asked to separate. n i'v been regretting every single day of my life. for the past few months, i'v been trying to patch up with him.n he keeps telling me to leave him alone. well, i found this website kinda late.didnt apply the NC "rule". i try to talk to him, he gives me the cold shoulder, hangs up the fone on me etc. so far we'v only met once for lunch. n it was quite bad cos i asked him to give me another chance again.... hes more willing to talk to me nowadays.but all his words are so provoking, piercing and insensitive to me. he says things like "i have no more feelings for you, we will NEVER get bac together, theres only a slight chance we can be frens, i'v tried to get those feelings back but failed"..... despite all these, i feel he stil has feelings for me. twice he asked to break up, he cried. to me, its a clear reflection that he has feelings for the r/s. when i asked him y he cried, he told me he didnt know n its prob cos we were tog for a year. yet that was the exact reason he told me was NOT a reason for us to try anymore... i really duno wat i can do. he jz keeps telling me never never never.but i still do see a future in us. it wasnt a bad r/s. any advice? thank you.......

hi,i'm new to this and i would like to join in this discussion too. raider, u mentioned that "The more she looks like she wants you to start a conversation about the relationship the more you shouldn't. She shoudl be the one to start this conversation. Espically because she left you" well,i'm in somewhat a similar situation. my ex broke up with me twice.but both times, i managed to change his mind and we got back together, tho things were never the same again. in the end, not being able to handle the stress (from relationship and uni), i asked to go our separate ways...and so we broke up.that was in feb. so theoretically, i'm the one who left him in the end? would my ex feel that if anything were to happen again, i should initiate it because i left him? things have been quite nasty since.i'v been very emotional while he just gives me the cold shoulder more than half the time and saying the most nasty and hurtful things. things have been abit better lately, hes willing to answer my calls n talk to me.He even told me he has been nicer to me... I have asked him out this weekend to "talk about the relationship".hes agreed to meet up if hes free. so its kinda an open-ended thingie.although i do not know if we would ultimately meet up this weekend, i feel kinda glad that he didnt turn down my offer. I'm feeling a teeny weeny bit hopeful about it, that he'd b willing to listen. Am i giving myself all the wrong signals? And if we do meet up, any suggestion/advice how and wat i can to make the best out of it? its the 1st time we'r meeting up after 3.5 months. thank you for any replies =)