Need advice for newly split up mom with 18month child

I have recently split up with my fiance. We were living together, with an 18month child. We split up 7 months ago, were together for 5 years, and he recently remarried 1 month ago.. which is a crazy situation! He is an excellent father, and would want our child in his life all the time if he could. I am stuck in a dillema. As much as I would love to give him joint custody, Im confused as to if I would be a good mother by doing so. I come from a family where divorce is rare. My mom loves my child, and knocks me everytime I mention the fact of giving our child to him 50% of the time. She constantly tells me what kind of mother would just hand their child over like I want to do. I am a working mother who also is finishing college mon-thu weekdays. Every little bit of time I have free is spent with her, but on the other hand, I have no time for myself. I love my child dearly, but do not find it harmful to give the father 50% custody. I am battling with the fact that I could be considered a "bad" parent by giving him this. I can not go to family for advice or their opinions bc they just knock anything I say. If possible, can someone respond. This is my first post, so Im not sure how it works. My email address is email removed if it requires you to email me. Please help with any advice, opinions, or experience. I just want what is best for my child, as any mother would.

Hello sweet8gel and welcome to eNotalone,

You are not a 'bad parent' for wanting your child to have a strong relationship with her father. Its admirable that this man WANTS the relationship and is willing to spend the time.

Joint custody is perfectly reasonable in these circumstances. As long as both of you work together in the parenting of this child that is the best possible thing for her. Hopefully both of you can continue to be flexible with regards to raising her and making sure you are both involved throughout her life.

If he wants to spend the time with his child and that works out great for you then DO it! Don't worry about your mother. This is YOUR child and not hers. You do whats in the best interest of your child, regardless of what others say. I agree with you that there is certainly no harm, and I even feel it is healthy, for you to have joint custody.

I hope this helps. Please PM me if I can help you any further.

avman

Sweet I think that wanting your child to have a relationship with their father is a good, healthy thing. I also think so is you wanting a little "me" time. The fact that you are concerned about this shows that you are not a bad mother!