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Thread: When a girl says maybe, what does it usually mean?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2003

    When a girl says maybe, what does it usually mean?

    I'm a very shy guy but I got the courage to ask a girl that I have liked for a couple months now out on a date a couple days ago. She has showed some what I believe some signs that she liked me or was just friendly..we have had many conversations together and she would also grab and hold my hand and say hi everytime I saw her, and give me hugs..She would also mention that I am smart and like to smile a lot to her friends and would mention to me about an instance where I was funny before and made her laugh when it already happened. Now I asked her out a couple days ago and this is how the conversation went: I asked her first if she was busy this weekend and she responded with that she was drinking on saturday(no in the back of my mind, I was thinking ok she might be available on sunday) When I asked if she wanted to go to the movies on sunday, she responded with a "maybe" response. Without thinking, I didn't ask her if that was a yes or no and just left it at that....When a girl says maybe, what does it usually mean? Should I ask her out again after a couple more days or just take it that she rejected me will again?

    P.S. I know that asking her out hasnt hurt our friendship because just yesterday when I saw her, she gave me a hug.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    hey Ed4252,
    I'd say go ask her again .. if she said it without thinking then she was just probably shocked and didnt want to make it out that thats what she's been thinking ... get into a convo with her then just slip it in at the middle .... mention a movie you want to go and see then ask if she'd like to go along !

    Hope this was some help

    Mrsmalakian x

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    New York
    hhmmm, a maybe is not a NO and not a YES. It means you can ask again, but not that you will get a yes.

    Perhaps, you asked wrong. Did you ask in front of a bunch of people or when you were alone. Women don't want the world to know you are coming on to them, be discreet.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by Beec
    Did you ask in front of a bunch of people or when you were alone. Women don't want the world to know you are coming on to them, be discreet.
    I asked when I was alone with her

  5. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    I would say that a maybe could be a yes. I think you might have caught her offguard and perhaps she didn't want to seem too eager. i know it sounds like game playing, but she might be playing hard to get. I've been known to hesitate saying yes right away to a date in fear of being too eager. But then again, a maybe could mean no and she's just too afraid to let you down. Keep asking her out. If she keeps putting you off (say three or more times) I would say that she was trying to tell you "no."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Ontario, Canada

    confidence is attractive

    Perhaps the message is "not right now"...
    pursue until a direct "no" is obtained, then move on.
    Don't be desperate, do be funny/light hearted, do act confident even if you are not.

    There are lots of other fish in the sea. If this one doesn't have reciprocal interest, then it is her loss and your freedom to go back and make your own life interesting and meet other people.

    If you let her go and she doesn't come back to you, you never had her in the first place.

    "It was good to get to know you, good luck with everything. Maybe we can talk another time. Good bye."

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Nov 2006

    That Post helped me alot

    Thanks alot guys, this post helped me alot because I am in a similar situation. The only difference is that I asked her out to dinner; I asked her alone also. The question I have is how long do you wait before you bring it up again?

  8. #8
    Dating Coach
    Platinum Member Dating Coach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    It was a test. She didn't think to herself, "I am going to test him" but that's not how most tests women throw at us happen anyway. This was a test to see what kind of signals you are going to send her way.

    You asked her a direct question, and she didn't answer back. Accepting this "non-answer" was showing that you are not a challenge. You should never let that slide. Get your answer. You don't have to be pushy or rude, but turn it around on her.

    "Oh, really? ha ha! What do you have going on tomorrow that could possibly be more fun than haning out with me?"

    If she is really interested she will go out with you. Actions speak louder than words, and a girl wouldn't be blowing off a guy she was excitedly interested in.

  9. #9
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Ya I'm in agreeance with a lot of the other posters here. Its because she likes you a lot I'm betting that she said maybe. She isn't trying to mess with you, but she doesn't want to ENCOURAGE you to be more expressive with your want to be with her. If you take a distant approach to your asking her, as in letting HER decide ultimately well then it shows you're looking to her to answer. Its complicated because she may want to go with you, but you need it to sound a lot more like you WANT her there as opposed to ASKING her to be there. Make sense?

    To say, are you free sunday do you want to see a movie? You're being nice by asking her if she WANTS to, but she ALREADY knows whether or not she wants to hang out with you, she doesn't need you asking her. You asking her doesn't show real expression outside of the fact that you're being cautious in your asking. Sounds more of a hassle than it is, but expressing your desire to do something and offering it to her is better. Something along the lines of "I was thinking about seeing this movie on sunday and wanted you to come with me." as opposed to "How would you feel about going to see ___ with me?"

    She may hmmm and ahhhh over it because she's not certain of YOU not your invitation. This means that she may feel you could be getting too attached to the idea of her response instead of it happening that you two have the chance to hang out. She'd rather you invite her into your life than asking to invite yourself into her life. If you understand this dynamic, it'll help your situation when you go to make plans with her.


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