Teenage son

I am a single 33 year old man. My wife died about 9 years ago. Lately my 14y/o son, Chase, has be going trough a period where he is trying to chage his entire image. I bought him one of those chains that boys have been wearing recently, but recently he has approached me about getting his ear pierced. He said he wanted 2 in his left earlobe, and one in his left cartilage, but he says he'll only where 2 (max) at a time (either both in lobe/ one in lobe, one in cartilage/ just one in cartilage/ just one in lobe). I guess it would be okay, I've considered getting my ear pierced since he brought it up.

In addition to this, Chase has also got a girlfriend lately named Melanie. I walked in on them making out once, and now that I found out, he has been asking me all sorts of questions about girls, and my love life. Itend to date younger women, about 10 year younger. My son has started asking me about my sex life, and I realised, I was totally fine with it. But it occurred to me, maybe I'm being a boit TOO open with him. Im affraid I'm inspiring him to try it, and teenage sex is fine with me, I did it when I was his age, but naturally, I'm affraid of Melanie getting pregnant.

Please give me some advice

This where you decied of your his dad or his buddy. Trying to balnce in the middle means your not his dad or his buddy! Educate him in how to "not get a girl pregnant. Make sure there's a large bowl filled w/condoms available. 2 reasons: 1 he may be embarrased to go by them and 2 if there are alot no one will notice if a few are missing. make sure he knows about STD'd and how your too young to be a grandad... you sound like a caring and nurturing father, you will do the right thing... just the fact that he can talk to you about such private thing is great.. good luck!

Bill

this is coming from a teenage girl about 16 years old. if your scared you need to sit down and talk to him about wearing condomns and all the scary things out there that could happen over a teenager having sex like stds and pregnecy. i can say that i am very prude my self but i like to know what my parents went through as children in there sex life so stay open with him and be glad that he can be open to you also becuase i am scared to reviel all the things that i have done with my boyfriend to my own mother or father becuase of the fact that i know that i could loose my relationship with him over it becuase my parents are so hard on me. i would be both his daddy and his buddy at the same time. what he is doing with his image is going to form him as he gets older and thats what hes going to be into. well hope this helps any

good luck

~foreverurz23~

I really think you are doing good by your son it seems you have a great relationship with him and that is important. I think you should sit him down and explain to him about how to protect himself. One concern is that I am sure Melonies mother would want to make sure you keep an eye on them and not make it so easy for them to do these types of things. You have to remember that you are a parent and your relationship with your son is good and you are not bothered by what he does but other parents may be bothered by some of these things and this girl is in your house so you might want to explain this to him also.

This sounds good. It is good that you are helping out your son. you are his friend and father. Educate him about stds. It is also good that you are using your past experiences in life to make his life better. You want the best for your son and that is good.

i wish you luck in all that you do,

take care

arab teen

thanks to all of you who replied, and your suggestions sound helpfull, but any other suggestions, especially on him getting his ears pierced will be very much accepted.

Being open and honest with your son is a really great thing that you have achieved. Just remember being only his buddy and his dad can cause problems later on when he might want to do things that you are not so crash hot on ie drinking and trying out drugs. So its important that you lay down firm boundries where your son understands that not everything he wants to do is ok by you (if this is the case).

Regarding the the teenage sex, thats fine by you and its great that you talk to him about all of the concequences and all of the good bits too. But consider how the girlfriends parents may feel on this matter. They might not be as understanding. Ive always thought if your are ready to have sex you SHOULD be ready to be a parent...of course this rarely ever happens otherwise half the population wouldnt be doing it, but its something to consider as your son is soo young, hes got a long future and there are just some things that a 14yr old shouldnt have to deal with. I would suggest talking to your sons gfs parents.

Good Luck, it seems like you are doing a good job.

I told Melanie's mother a few weeks ago, about me walking in on them making out, and my concerns about them taking the next step. She herself, as a teenage mother, knows the consequences that can come as a result of teen sex. We both agree that we cannot stop them, so we decided it was best that we give them some support, but make sure we set bounds for the. They both take sex ed as a part of Phys. Ed. in school, so we didn't feel the need to tell them about the risks as they already know them. We did however make both of them take blood test for STDs, just to be on the safe side, and they were both clean. We also set the following list of rules for them:

-Melanie must be on birth control (condoms are not always the most reliable protection, and could be forgotten in the heat of the moment)

-They must remain loyal to each other, or at least break it off if before sleeping with somebody else

We feel that this should help keep them safe, to an extent, and we realize that these thigs are never 100%, but we do the best we can.

But seriously people, about the earring thing???

I know I am 14 but don't stop, TELL HIM EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. DO YOU REALISE HE IS GOING TO FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER FROM SOMEONE. His mom isn't there to tell him. So you have got to do it! Wouldn't it rather be you or someone else? Maybe you could even scare him a little. I can also see his point of view, my dad is a hard corse cop for pheonix peoria born and raised in a 2 room apartment in the Bronx of NYC, he doesn't want anyone to touch his little girl or he'll punch your lights out. I have 4 peircings on each ear and going on 5, I couldn't help it it is great I love them I don't regret it, its all apart of growing up curiosity (I loathe tattoos and will never get one ha!) but I see. No offense but I am a catholic about to convert to hinduism, but sex is wrong at my age I know, I guess at any age I find it more spiritual and meaningful when you are married not to be ofensive you don't want to be the "village bycicle" everyone has had a ride, but make sure you teach him abstenance (spelled wrong I know) and that a condom doesn't work all the time, neither do birthcontrols (my mom is a surgeon at eldordo hospital she's seen it) I hope this helped-Lauren