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Thread: Please help me with my breakup. Not over it. Been 6 months

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by ttlove23
    well, i guess it was real love or true love to him? i never seen this side of him after the breakup. It was cold, rude, and scary. I don't know how someone can do a whole 180 on me due to some rough patches in the relationship. I love hard and differently. Regardless of his behaviors, I loved him and was willing to correct my wrongs. He did mention he lost interest. But, how would someone who says they love me lost interest over some rough patch in the relationship. I guess its not real then. Or he wants something easy.
    Keep talking it out. Seems like you are getting there.

    No reason to "fight" for someone who isn't feeling the same.

  2. #22
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    because sometimes i feel like if we never argued or fight we would have been together. Then, i think about the reasons why we argued. His behaviors on social media, talking about exes, and being out the weekend till morning really upset me. HE DID unfollow so many account but it was sooo many that was still there. What i really hated was i had to keep telling him about it over and over again to unfollow these naked girls. Like it made me feel insecure and felt like he had wandering eyes and i wasn't enough or something. I got tired of asking him to unfollow these naked girls and hearing about his exes. But, i still loved him. distance made it worst too.
    What i was saying is if i go to school there will he come back to me? Because we were perfect when we were together. Towards the last two months is when we had some problems about social media and exes. I was wondering maybe me moving out there, we will be able to work it out?

    I am willing to adjust and to do whatever for us to be happy. but he got a new girl in less than two weeks and sleeping with her.

  3. #23
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    what do you mean by I wanted a completely different level of commitment than he was willing to give.

  4. #24
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    if he really loved me or cared for him, he would have solved the issues between us and wouldn't give up on me regardless of the situation.

    Do you agree with that?

  5.  

  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by ttlove23
    What i was saying is if i go to school there will he come back to me? Because we were perfect when we were together. Towards the last two months is when we had some problems about social media and exes. I was wondering maybe me moving out there, we will be able to work it out?
    No, he will not. It has gone way too far off the rails to ever be repaired.

    He will probably phone the police again if you try to make any further contact with him. What are the terms of your restraining order?

    How did you meet him, and how much time did you actually spend together in person?

    Are you lurking on his or his girlfriend's social media? How are you getting any information about him?

    You need to find a more constructive way to deal with these obsessive thoughts, OP. They are clearly consuming you and preventing you from living a healthy life.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by ttlove23
    if he really loved me or cared for him, he would have solved the issues between us and wouldn't give up on me regardless of the situation.

    Do you agree with that?
    No, I do not.

    You can care about someone, and even love them, but know they are not right for you and that the relationship is not working. You can want the best for someone but not wish to continue dating them.

    You seem to have a very unhealthy view of love. That's worth examining further. I have to wonder if these obsessive and insistent thought patterns contributed to the break-up.

  8. #27
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    He has a restraining order against you.

    Please do NOT move out there. You risk getting arrested if you move out there and try to see or contact him.

    He has made it clear it's over. You can refuse to accept it but refusing won't change it.

    Please seek professional help if you are unable to move forward or accept the breakup.

  9. #28
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    no he dont love me because this is not how you treat a person you claim to love. when you love someone you tried to work it out. He probably liked me just like he liked the 4 girls before me and the new girl. i went above and beyond to make it work, he didn't. i fought for him. This just shows how less he cared.

  10. #29
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    what do you mean if these obsessive and insistent thought patterns contributed to the breakup?

    the things that contributed to the breakup was his own behaviors. He never took responsibility of his actions, but only wanted to discuss my reactions. When you really love someone you do anything to make it work, especially when i did more than half of the work which includes apologizing, compromising, everything.

  11. #30
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    I cursed his exes out to him and he got offended.

    after finding his instagram behaviors out and him talking about his exes, it made me so insecure.

    Everytime i bring up something for discussion, he thinks im arguing and fighting with him and tries to break up with me multiple times. Then, I cry and ask him to stay

    One day, I snapped on him because he was always trying to break up with me every time we have an argument. So I called him out and said I got tired of his behavior and he likes attention and that's it. I said he might be buying his likes and stuff due to him seeking attention It was a heated one because I was upset.


    This was not a happy, loving, respectful or secure relationship.

    What I keep reading is you saying "if he loved me he'd CHANGE!!!"

    The right man wouldn't have to change.

    The only way it would work is if he was completely different. He is not, therefore he is not the right one for you. No matter how many "but" or "ifs" you try to say.

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