thinking of my ex daily and its nearly a year now!?

Hello

As everyone knows, my ex broke up with me last June and we have been together for three years (we were each others first, age 18 and I was 20). I supported my ex during his depression and his college exam failure till he succeeded to go to uni, until I found out he cheated on me with multiple individuals as he wanted to meet new people and experience life without me, this led to first break up two years ago on August, we got back on October two years ago as he regretted it.

We kind of worked well, but he kept on lying about small things and I had my insecurities, until last June he made me pay for a rent for us to move in together only for him to break up, stealing my belonging to sell them in order for him to pay his rents and ghosted me and blocked me everywhere until last September he unblocked me on FB but I blocked him after that

Since then I have been thinking about him daily and I mean DAILY, every night and day, despite getting so much shape, making great friends, new hobbies but those a temporary distraction. I got in Cambridge university for PhD to which he felt jealous during our relationship but now I feel like wanting to drop out and just do the course he is doing and excel on that

thats how bad the break up caused

Have you guys stayed in contact with each other? Still on each other's social media profiles? Still finding excuses to talk to or see him? There is a reason they suggest no contact on here... if you haven't tried it, I highly recommend it.

we haven't chatted since last June, so no contact for a year because obviously after he stole my stuff, he can not face me

and I blocked him on FB and Twitter and unfriended him on snapchat

Hello

 

As everyone knows, my ex broke up with me last June and we have been together for three years (we were each others first, age 18 and I was 20). I supported my ex during his depression and his college exam failure till he succeeded to go to uni, until I found out he cheated on me with multiple individuals as he wanted to meet new people and experience life without me, this led to first break up two years ago on August, we got back on October two years ago as he regretted it.

 

We kind of worked well, but he kept on lying about small things and I had my insecurities, until last June he made me pay for a rent for us to move in together only for him to break up, stealing my belonging to sell them in order for him to pay his rents and ghosted me and blocked me everywhere until last September he unblocked me on FB but I blocked him after that

 

Since then I have been thinking about him daily and I mean DAILY, every night and day, despite getting so much shape, making great friends, new hobbies but those a temporary distraction. I got in Cambridge university for PhD to which he felt jealous during our relationship but now I feel like wanting to drop out and just do the course he is doing and excel on that

 

thats how bad the break up caused

Really do everything you can to get past this. Make it a priority. Don't waste a moment of your life pining over a person who betrayed you. I watched a good friend of mine do that. She was with a guy for 8 years, and then he got her friend pregnant. He broke up with my friend and married the other girl. My friend never got past it, and now she's in her mid-forties, barely employed, and living with her mom. She's has a master's degree and should be out conquering the world. Instead, she's gained all sorts of weight and really let herself go. It's sad to see, especially when in the amount of time I've known her, I accomplished so much. She's just wasting her time. Don't do that to yourself.

Just the process of writing all you did about him, on this forum, keeps him on your mind and basically in your life. Only you can free yourself. Put a rubber band around your wrist and every time he enters your mind, snap the rubber band, and make it hurt. Don't talk about him to friends, rehashing the past. Delete any photos you have of him, and give away any gifts he might have given to you.

You have control over your brain and where you're letting your thoughts go. The fact it's taking you so long to mourn, maybe he was the sole center of your universe. Keep up with your activities with others, even when you have a bf, to prevent the same scenario next time, if that was the cause.

You've received some great advice already from the few posts here. I like the rubber band idea. To stop thinking about someone is one of the hardest things to do. You literally have to constantly monitor your thoughts, not easy when if you have a constantly wandering mind. There was a time 15 years ago that I couldn't stop thinking about someone, I mean all day all night constant thoughts. I literally had to force myself to stop as in if I started to think of the person I would picture a big red stop sign and say STOP then quickly change my incoming thought to something else I really enjoyed, sitting on a beach, my car, something funny, anything. I did that for 2 weeks, every time that person would start to creep in my mind I immediately changed my thought, and you know what happened 2 weeks later? I GOT OVER THE PERSON, the feelings faded, I didn't care that much anymore, I was able to move on. Believe me though IT WAS HARD to monitor your thoughts like that, but it worked. 6 mos. later I met someone I liked better and was even more attracted to :)

I challenge anyone to just try it for 2 solid weeks. It especially works if you don't have to see or talk to the person at all while doing this. So you may be a good candidate since you're not in contact with him currently.

My friend did the rubber band thing when we were in high school. I distinctly remember driving around with her, and her snapping the rubber band ha ha.

She was trying to get over a guy that she'd been with for more than 2 years. He'd cheated on her numerous times and was just all around bad news.

One way or another, she did get over him. Not long after, she fell in love with a guy that she'd been friends with. They've been together ever since.

Her ex is still a cheater and still bad news!

I’m very sorry to hear of your situation. It’s good you quit all contact with this person. Now you need to take care of yourself. Find activities to do, meditate to learn to control your thoughts, exercise, find friends to hang out with and distract yourself. Give yourself a little time every day to mourn and think about him, and then move on and keep yourself busy. It’s classic advice, and it’ll work a little better every day. After what he did to you there’s no good reason to cling to his memory, so you just have to give it time to fade away and keep your mind busy in the meantime.

I wish I had gotten into Cambridge for a Ph.D. Look at yourself girl! You have a bright future ahead of you. Think about it. Plan for it. You *will* meet a decent person.... someone much better than this one, but for you to meet that person, you have to let this one go.

When I was trying to get over someone - I donated everything he gave me, threw away some, and burned the rest (like greeting cards). Blocked him in every which way possible, changed my email, phone no., blocked him on all social media. I had reached a point where I had realized that we couldn't be together given the situation was. I wrote his name on a piece of paper and said to God that I was laying my feelings for this man, my anxiety around the marriage .... everything at His feet and whatever he did about it, I would be okay with it... eventually. Hugs!