I don’t know why my ex is acting like this.

My ex and I were only together for a few months. We broke up almost a year ago and not that long ago I actually spoke to him for the first time since our falling out. Our break up was mutual but heartbreaking for both of us because long distance is hard and we went from basically living together to not seeing each other at all. A month or two after our break up, we would text flirty things and exchange things that we probably shouldn’t have because it wasn’t particularly helping anything. If anything, it was just more confusing. After about eight months or more of no contact, I saw him and he wanted to finally talk about the problems we had when together and he took responsibility for it all. I was surprised he initiated it. He told me that I was the only woman after his first ex that he had really respected and been all in for. He basically said that I would always be the one that got away. We both knew that something would always be between us and we tried to leave it at that. That night I went to his house and we hooked up. Our hooking up continued for the rest of the weekend and he wanted to see me a lot (kept texting me) whether it was to take me out to eat, to hang out, or to hook up. He was doing a lot of the same things we did when we were together like little things he knew I loved. He told me that he had missed me so much and not even just because we were hooking up. Since I was only visiting, I had a short amount of time with him and although I had been thinking it, he was the first to say that he hoped there were no lingering feelings. When I was leaving, he kissed me and said to let him know when I’d be back and he’d let me know if he was ever in my area even though it’s unlikely.

He texted me a few times, but he’ll leave some of my replies on read after a little bit of talking or take a few days to text me first because I am not going to chase him. I don’t know if he’s being hot and cold because he’s feeling some type of way or because he doesn’t really care and now he’s over it. Or if it really wasn’t a big deal for him. I just feel like the way he looked at me and spoke to me was just with too much admiration and almost a sort of urgency like he knew my visit was short. But now that I’m back, he’s fallen back. He’s back to liking my social media stuff because for that year or so, he didn’t really interact with my stuff even though when I saw him, he was able to accurately name my Instagram and he was eager to get me back on Snapchat because I had taken him off during no contact. I don’t know if I want him back but part of me wants to open a conversation about it. Is it worth it? We were only together a few months but this was a few weeks ago after so long. Is it over? Is this weird lingering feeling just going to be how it is? Did he just want the hook up?

I'm sorry, but you were a convenience to him while you were there: sounds more like a FWB setup. If he were really into you, he would be with you.

I would stop all contact , as he has no intention of moving forward. I don't understand this nonsense "you were the one to get away." You are right there.

His lack of action is very clear. It has been over since your break last year.

Yeah, I wouldn't believe all the stuff he said to you. He just wanted you in bed. This why the advice on ENA is to go No Contact and cut all ties with an ex. Texting him and having ex sex just raises too many hopes and winds up hurting more in the end. People write in constantly saying, I shouldn't have contacted my ex. I should have remained NC. Now it just hurts worse than it did before. And he's trying to lead you along where you have sex with each other when you're in the other's town. Just cut him off and move you. Find someone new.