Should I try again?

First time doing anything like this. Here goes nothing.

So this girl and I had a “thing” at the beginning of the year. It wasn’t official, but it was definitely real. We were together and dating for a little less than a month and things were progressing very quickly. Then I had a friend of mine screw me over. He professed his love for her, and she was going through a lot already, so she panicked. She told me she needed a break, and I begrudgingly but respectfully agreed. We stayed on good terms, we were both just very busy and I haven’t seen her a lot the past several months.

This past month she’s been on my mind quite a bit. It hasn’t been on purpose either. Little things will remind me of her. I’ve been contemplating whether to ask her out again or not. It’s been several months and I’m nervous she lost the feelings for me she had. Last week I asked her to help me with work, and she agreed. I really enjoyed spending time with her again. I genuinely needed her help with work, but I also definitely asked her to help to start reconnecting.

So I guess my question is, is this a good idea? Is 4 months too long and I should not waste my time? How should I approach this? I feel stupid for asking this, but I really don’t know what’s right. Any advice will be helpful.

If another guy professing his love was enough for her to need a break from you, it's because she liked this guy too. I don't see the need for a break otherwise.

Her feelings for you weren't strong enough, unfortunately. A girl who is really into you wouldn't dump you because some other dude was into her. So no, I wouldn't bother trying to reconnect with her. She's had plenty of time to rectify things with you, and she hasn't. Her inaction and speaking loudly and clearly.

Well, the typical advice is to have no contact so you can get over her. But since you've already had contact with her, I don't see any problem with trying to ask her out again. If she shoots you down, then you know where you stand and then hopefully you can move on. She she agrees to the date, be careful. A lot of ex-girlfriends think they can be "friends" with their exes. But you can ask how things are going with her boyfriend. If she's broken up, try dating her again. If she's still dating him, then give up and go no contact.

She had no feelings for this guy and I knew that. He got her drunk and tried to pressure her into dating him which is part of the reason she freaked out. There was just a lot going on at the time because her family was fostering an infant, and her dad is an to her and her sisters. We both work 3 jobs and go to school which is why we haven't seen each other a lot. I'll more than likely see her again this Friday, so I'll probably ask her then.

Nice work on reconnecting with her on practical terms again. I definitely understand busyness and life complications getting in the way of a budding relationship. Though you should guard yourself against the possibility of rejection, it likely wouldn't hurt to mention the possibility of reconnecting, though you may even want to wait until you've had the opportunity to meet up a couple more times before asking her.

If I can ask, do you feel you and this girl are highly compatible? What brought the two of you together in the first place, and do you think that it would sustain you long-term in a relationship? And what are the chances she might get emotionally manipulated by another guy again? Hoping for the best and for wise decisions.

Guess it’s story time:

We met Freshman year, and to be honest, she annoyed the crap out of me back then. But as the years went by we both grew up and grew into good friends. We were in the university choir together, but didn’t spend a ton of time one on one.

Last semester was when we started hanging out together more. She’s gorgeous but kinda out of my league, so I never really thought about it. At the end of the semester our choir went on tour, and that was when we really got close. I started to think of asking her out, but I didn’t really have the balls to do it. However we were spending so much time together that everyone was shipping us (Even our director). When we got back home we had a couple “hang outs” that were definitely unofficial dates. Things progressed quickly, and our feelings for each other came to light. So we started low-key dating. The rest you know.

Compatibility: We are great together (In my biased opinion). We are both pretty sarcastic, love video games and movies, musically oriented, and just love life. I’ll admit she is kinda dramatic, but I’m very chill and I’ve gotten pretty good at bringing her back down to Earth.

The chances of her being manipulated again I think are low. This was a situation where this guy (who is still one of my best friends. Don’t think poorly of me or him, he’s just VERY self-centered) saw us getting close and decided to screw it all up. He caught her in a situation with a lot going on (working 3 jobs to pay off student loans/ fostering an infant/ cruel Dad/ anxiety/ etc.) and tried to guilt her and pressure her into giving in to him. He didn’t want her to tell me that he was the reason she needed a break, but she did because she’s a saint. I still don’t think he knows that I know what he did😅.

We are both in better places now with not as much going on. She’s down to 1 amazing job that she loves. Her roommates that she didn’t get along with are out of the house. I’ve completely moved past my ex (which that is a story all on its own). Things are just going well right now. Oh and this friend of mine moved away, so he’s out of the picture as well.

Didn’t mean for this to be as long as it is😅. I guess I just wanted to know if this was a good idea or if I was making a mistake. I was already planning on asking her if she is down to give it another go, I just was waiting until after we’d spent more time catching up. Even if it’s a no, it’s better than living with a “what if”, right?

Thanks for the comments! I’m also hoping for the best and wise decisions!