One night with the EX

Hey!! It’s been a while since I posted. I just wanted to share what happened to me on Saturday night. I haven’t spoken to my ex in about a year, even longer since I’ve seen him. Saturday night I was out and got a call from him, seeing how I was etc. Before I knew it, I was asking him if he wanted to meet up, he said yes. I was quite drunk and I asked him when I got there - why ring me? I didn’t think in a million years after how bad it ended he’d ever speak to me again. He was sober, said that he called me by accident but was happy to see me. Weird..anyway we ended up talking for hours, he was talking about the break up etc and the stuff that happened whereas I didn’t really wanna go over it again. He told me his relationship had ran it’s course and they were over but that he still loves his girlfriend, we didnt really go in depth about it. After a few hours, I kind of initiated sex and it happened, both enjoyed, I have no idea what made me think that was a good idea I think maybe cause it’s been so long since I saw him. The next morning, I felt really bad about it, part of me thinking I was a rebound but the other part of me thinking surely not cause if he was really cut up about his relationship there’s just no way he would ring me or meet me. It had me confused I won’t lie. I haven’t spoken to him since. Has anyone had a night with their ex a couple of years after the relationship ended?

part of me thinking I was a rebound but the other part of me thinking surely not cause if he was really cut up about his relationship there’s just no way he would ring me or meet me

Of course he can have sex with you when he's otherwise cut up about his recent relationship.

Sex can be just a physical act for a lot of people. . especially under the right circumstances.

Surely you do know that, don't you?

What do you want to happen?

Is this the same guy you wrote about before?

I've done that. No other reason than that it was familiar. No feelings, just happened.

I don't think he called you by accident. And he probably agreed to the sex because he's lonely. It happens.

Don't expect much now, but don't feel bad.

I just don’t understand how

Someone can go from hating you to having you over. He said he still thinks about me from time to time (as I do him) but that his new relationship was deep for him because he’s matured. It must be a recent breakup because her stuff was still in his room. I duno I just don’t know how I’m SUPPOSED to feel - if that makes sense? I still think of him but I’m pretty confident I don’t want anything from him. I just never ever expected that would happen...

As long as you both had a good time and didn't expect anything. It's very common to start calling exes, when someone is lonely, heartbroken, horny etc.

Saturday night I was out and got a call from him, seeing how I was etc.

I was quite drunk and I asked him when I got there - why ring me?

He told me his relationship had ran it’s course and they were over but that he still loves his girlfriend

Sweetgirl did you speak after it happened?

Sweetgirl did you speak after it happened?

Yes. It didn't stop at one night, it continued . Pretty much we were different people than when we were together, and even though I didn't regret the sex happening, we weren't good for one another anymore than what we were when we were together. It never would have worked. The sex worked because I really didn't feel anything other than familiarity to him.

He wanted more, I just couldn't go there again.

Seems your ex is rebounding, so if you think you feel anything for him, it's best to not reach out because you don't want to hurt yourself. If he contacts you kind of make light of it, don't apologize or anything. Just let it be. Chances are though he might try again. The only way you can is if you can be unattached.

I have to ask why you say he hated you for over a year? Most bad feelings fade after a breakup. Some hold onto anger but for the most part it dissipates. That's why people usually reach out again when the bad feelings pass. My last ex was absolutely livid with me and I hated him just as much believe me, and we are okay now. Even though I get pissed at him often secretly but that's cuz I care a little but not enough to stop my life lol. I'm looking for someone else .

I just don’t understand how

Someone can go from hating you to having you over. He said he still thinks about me from time to time (as I do him) but that his new relationship was deep for him because he’s matured. It must be a recent breakup because her stuff was still in his room. I duno I just don’t know how I’m SUPPOSED to feel - if that makes sense? I still think of him but I’m pretty confident I don’t want anything from him. I just never ever expected that would happen...

Then. . you need to feel or think anything about it.

It was one night with no regrets. Carry on.

Interesting...it seems your ex definitely still held you in high regard to want more from you as well as sex. We had a really messy break up and I caused him hell which a lot of people knew about including his family, I sensed the morning after either regret or guilt or maybe both. It made me question just HOW recent his break up was. I think you’re right tho, maybe the bad feelings have faded but I think the stigma of our relationship is probably still there. I don’t do ‘one night stands’ and I guess I thought he may have talked to me after even to just be like okay probably shouldn’t have done that ..

Interesting...it seems your ex definitely still held you in high regard to want more from you as well as sex. We had a really messy break up and I caused him hell which a lot of people knew about including his family, I sensed the morning after either regret or guilt or maybe both. It made me question just HOW recent his break up was. I think you’re right tho, maybe the bad feelings have faded but I think the stigma of our relationship is probably still there. I don’t do ‘one night stands’ and I guess I thought he may have talked to me after even to just be like okay probably shouldn’t have done that ..

It's ok, don't beat yourself up over this. It happened. You have control from this point forward if he makes contact. Don't really think of it as a one night stand. He's an ex. Not a stranger.

Mine, he always loved me and was more invested in me than I was him, and we had a messy breakup with families butting in also. I didn't make trouble for him but there were definitely ill feelings from both sides. His family was actually fine with me during that time we were hanging out again, but mine wasn't receptive to him at all. That didn't influence my decision to cut it off again though. It just wasn't right for me. I wasn't mad he wasn't either. We were just two incompatible people who were better off apart.

You’re right...thank you for sharing your experience you’ve made me feel better!

You’re right...thank you for sharing your experience you’ve made me feel better!

Okay sweetie! Good luck! Love yourself. You didn't do anything wrong :)