Feeling guilty about reporting something

Hey all, quick advice sought please if anyone is able

Racked with guilty feelings...my friend in local government unwittingly hired someone who is on the Internet, allegations were made of corruption, worked in another local government borough, cannot go into more detail

 

I informed my friend and feel guilty...I thought I was protecting him from an embarrassment as people might think he was associated with this guy

 

But now I feel a mean busybody for ratting him and so guilty

 

I feel like an awful person, am I? Should have stayed out of it X

So you're saying you knew more about about this guy than your friend who hired him? Has anything come of letting your friend know?

Yes weirdly! But my friend has said its good, as he may not have known...:-)

Not really sure what you are feeling so guilty about.....

Your friend hired someone that you were aware has some negative history. That history is public and you alerted your friend to that fact. Done deal and you were being a good friend to alert him to that.

 

As for what happens now and what your friend does or doesn't do with that information, keep strictly out of it. Don't even ask unless he volunteers the info to you. Keep in mind also that there probably are others involved in these decisions too.

...my friend in local government unwittingly hired someone who is on the Internet, allegations were made of corruption,

Since you alerted him after the guy was already hired, what was the outcome? Also, these are "allegations" were there any charges or proof of the corruption? If you felt justified to warn, why are you feeling guilty?

I am feeling guilty at an ulterior sort of motive of feeling overly responsible in " protecting " my friend as I have feelings for him ( and him for me, we declared it ) and I feel I acted obsessive and overly zealous, another reason I checked was to see if his new colleague was male or female, couldn't tell from the name! And was surprised at what I stumbled upon, the allegations were all over net but unproven and I said to my friend he could be innocent

I guess I feel ashamed of my obsessiveness and worried he will know somehow and I do not need to mother him and be so over-solicitous

But again if I had not accidentally found it could be extremely embarrassing for him! X

I am afraid I look like a nutty obsessed cyber stalker to him lol though guess he may think I'd seen him in the news - I'm afraid I've been mean exposing the guy feeling guilty like I did it only to be overly protective of a man I like and for that reason feel guilty and ashamed

Oh, so you're not feeling guilty due to outing the guy, you're feeling guilty because you were creeping due to being paranoid that your crush might be hiring a woman!

 

Yea.. well chalk up your actions which have led you to feeling guilty as a lesson learned. You seem to have self reflected enough to not keep doing it due to how 'it' makes you feel.

 

Are you two actually seeing one another or did you just confess to having feelings for one another?

Did your crush do anything with the information you sussed out for him or is the guy still working for him?

I'm not sure, but think the guy is still working for him, can't tell yet...we don't speak every day but we are colleagues

He pursued me for some time and then asked me for a drink and said to me, you tell me when so I did and we have made a tentative date for Sunday which he said we could confirm this week as we speak nearly every day..yeah lol embarrassed at being a bad creeper! I don't want this guy to pay for my creepiness I guess *blush*

Thanks for your reply

And yeah I think I have learned my lesson due to feeling bad about this! X

I've just remembered actually he said he was only temporary anyway so feel a bit better and yeah he will then be hiring a woman! But I feel ok with it now :-)

Methinks that you are way over thinking things...... Chill out. If snooping sends you into this kind of a spiral, then yeah, lesson learned, don't do that anymore.

Bless you and thank you DancingFool yep overthinking, that's me! Haha I will try and definitely chill out now X