To suffer

Does the intense pain of break up ever get better? I know that people don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. God! I would like to get to that point. Doing everything in my power. Keeping myself busy. "I love myself" mantras. Working on my hobbies and art work and trying so hard to remain focused at work. I have never felt suffering like this.

Try writing a journal about your thoughts feelings, things you would say or wanted to say...slowly as you heal and move forward you will see your progression. One day you will see that you will get to the point you no longer need the journal and can see just how far you came, to the point where you will laugh and say WOW I was that broken before? You will become stronger and the past will be nothing but a distant memory.

I will do that. Thank you

I found this. This one is a good one.

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-ways-to-manage-a-break-up-and-work-through-the-pain/

Sorry to hear this? How long were you dating? What caused the breakup? Yes, it gets much better.

Keeping myself busy. "I love myself" mantras. Working on my hobbies and art work and trying so hard to remain focused at work. I have never felt suffering like this.

It wasn't long. He did everything right on the surface and I was hooked. (It doesn't help that I am getting out of a bad divorce and then "he" walked into my life)

But while he was romancing me - telling me he was done with dating. That I was the one. Making announcements on social media about how wonderful I am...

He was emotionally cheating on me with other girls on social media.. guarding his phone ect.. what really locked it in was that when I was sick or at a low point he would be cold about it and not check in on me - whereas my true best friends and family would.

I really wanted what he was selling me but it was a lie.

Now I am in agony

Unfortunately it sounds like he was a band-aid while you are in the throes of divorce and now that that's gone, the real pain of it all is emerging. Focus on that since a brief dating situation where he still flirted with women online shouldn't cause this much "agony".

He did everything right on the surface and I was hooked. It doesn't help that I am getting out of a bad divorce and then "he" walked into my life. Now I am in agony

Does the intense pain of break up ever get better? I know that people don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. God! I would like to get to that point. Doing everything in my power. Keeping myself busy. "I love myself" mantras. Working on my hobbies and art work and trying so hard to remain focused at work. I have never felt suffering like this.

Something that helped me immensely was to journal "as if" I were my future non-suffering self. I imagined what I would love to be doing, thinking, feeling, planning, observing, etc. and collaged into a spiral bound journal with quotes and images and art supplies. I did it following an online prompt to create a "fake journal" starting on April 1st and was meant to be done for the entire month. The idea was to journal as if you were someone else, but I picked my future self. I ended up continuing it until the journal was full. Even now it sits on my shelf and I'll browse through it and find inspiration and beauty in it. While I was creating it I was fresh out of a long term relationship, and the imagining myself into the future gave me a break from painful thoughts and feelings and gave me hope and encouragement. It was as if my future healed self was encouraging me, and leading me forward. You mentioned art and mantras, and might find this helpful, too. Hang in there, one breath at a time.

I also recommend a gratitude journal.

Or make 2 lists at the end of each day, noting the pros and cons of the day, what worked to improve your feeling of well-being, and what triggered pain or setbacks. Then you'll know what to choose more of.

Good luck!

Visuals like that have always helped. That's a good one 💙

Sounds a bit like the guy is a red herring. The real source of your pain is that your life isn't how you'd like it to be. So if you see it from that perspective, perhaps it will help you move away from pain and focus on making your life be what you want it to be? Just a thought. Change your perspective, change our life.

Journaling is a very good idea. If that does not help please consider counselling to get yourself over the hump.

Therapy, martial arts, punching bag.. you name it