don't know what to do after breaking up this way, still in love with her

the day before yesterday we broke up after being 3-4 months together, ive met her after she had a 10 year relationship and was single for a year again. she told me she thinks she just wasn't ready to start a new relationship yet but that she really liked our time together and that there was nothing else wrong, also that if she would have been ready to be in a relationship she believes it would have lasted between us.

she said having no contact now would be the fastest way to make it clear, and that she might regret it in a week or month or so but she doesn't know and is doubting right now.

what is the best thing to do now? just keep myself to the no contact she said and wait for 30 days orso before texting anything? and what are the chances she will eventually reach out again if what she said is true and there really was nothing wrong between us, but just her ex who's still in her head sometimes?

thanks for the responses in advance

Relax. There is nothing you can do. The ball is in her court and you just have to see if she reaches out or not. If she doesnt, thats okay. At least you would know the truth. Dont worry about a 30 day before I text game. If she hasnt texted you in 30 days thats a pretty big indication that she doesnt want to be with you. She knows how to get a hold of you if she wants to be with you.

And quit trying to figure out what is going thru her mind. You will go crazy doing that. Just say the timing wasnt right. Thats how I see it. She wasnt ready for what you had to offer

Relax. There is nothing you can do. The ball is in her court and you just have to see if she reaches out or not. If she doesnt, thats okay. At least you would know the truth. Dont worry about a 30 day before I text game. If she hasnt texted you in 30 days thats a pretty big indication that she doesnt want to be with you. She knows how to get a hold of you if she wants to be with you.

And quit trying to figure out what is going thru her mind. You will go crazy doing that. Just say the timing wasnt right. Thats how I see it. She wasnt ready for what you had to offer

Totally agree....

She dumped you...

She has to reach out...If it matters to her...

10 years with someone is a long time... Those feelings just do not disappear over night...

I give her KUDOS for taking a year off to recover...

That is a lot better than jumping from a long term relationship right into another like many people do without healing...

She may need more healing time.

I am empathize with you a great deal and I know it hurts and is very confusing. The thing that makes all that worse is trying to answer the questions you have in your own head about what happened or may happen in the future. It keeps you stuck. It sounds cliche but when someone tells you how they feel you have to honor that. There will never be a better alternative. She may have left you confused because she, herself, is confused. I think she is being kind by letting you go so she can figure herself out. Others less compassionate would have continued on with you letting you have this one sided relationship. I know he agony here is that she asked for no contact for 30 days and that leaves the door open for hope. Will she come back? Should you reach out? Hope.

You have to show yourself love and respect by moving forward as hard as it may be. Keep living life. See what there is out there to offer you. Try to focus on what makes you happy and do that as often as you can. Reconnect with platonic friends and take up hobbies that you always wanted to try. Busy yourself with becoming the best version of yourself...not for her but for you. YOU matter and YOU are worthy of reciprocated love. I am sorry if that sounds cheesy but I often have to say that to myself as well.

I agree with the others; there's really nothing you can do. You didn't do anything to cause this break-up, and thus, there's not much you could do to fix it. Texting her in 30 days won't really change that. Any contact would need to come from her; otherwise, you'll find yourself hanging on to false hope if all she does is reply but not initiate meaningful communication.

It's impossible to say if the reason she gave it the complete truth, as we don't know her or your relationship, but it is certainly plausible. A decade is a very long time to be with someone and if she's broken up with you over it, he's not in her head sometimes. He's in her head much of the time. She might reach out again once she's had more time and space to herself, but it's best not to hedge any bets on that.

thanks for all the responses already, she didn't say to wait 30 days but just that no contact would be the fastest way to clear things up and that she might regret this decision soon.

6 november is her birthday so i was thinking about texting her that day anyway just to wish her a happy b-day

i believe she was honest with the reason since our relation was going really well in her eyes also.

Do not text her on her birthday or any other holidays.

You want her to come back to you by her own choice. Whatever her reason for not being with you, as everyone has said here, its out of your hands.

Until then, you go be you. Start doing some things that made you happy before you met her. Go start doing things that you wanted to do for yourself (gym, rock climbing, take a trip, whatever). It will be "bittersweet" because you'll probably have the whole, "I wish she were here to share this experience..." thing banging around in your head. I certainly did when I bought a house and did some things that my ex and I had talked about doing. I think this is normal.

But you know what? Your life is what you make it. If you want to make it about waiting for someone who didn't appreciate you enough to put a decent amount of effort into keeping a good man like you in her life, then you go right ahead. By doing so, you give someone who CHOOSES not to be with you power over who you are, even if they don't know or care about you.

My ex had been involved with a guy for 14 years and then not dated anyone for a year or so before we got involved. I heard a similar "I think the timing just isn't right" BS excuse after our 10 month relationship fell apart. A month and half later, she started seeing someone new. Yeah, I know.....and all I did was hope that it would crash and burn and she'd come back. Apparently, that relationship lasted 10 months as well to the best of my knowledge. It took a while to accept but I now acknowledge that I was somewhat of a rebound for her.

The bottom line is that I did a lot of things that were mainly positive for my life and I've finally stopped inflicting pain upon myself with worrying about if and when I might reconnect. If I'd truly disconnected from her by going full No Contact, instead of remaining FB friends, I would have spent a lot less sleepless nights wondering why we broke up/how she could move on so quickly/did she ever care about me, etc.

Do the right thing (no contact, take time to heal, work on yourself) and do a better job of it than I did so you can move on much faster and possibly be ready to let someone wonderful into your life who sees how much you have to offer, wants to grow with you in a healthy relationship and possibly build a future with you because you're everything that no other man has been in her life.

She's out there but you gotta put in the time and effort during your healing to make yourself into something that this next woman will treasure going forward. You can do this and we're all rooting for you.

yes ofcourse i want her to come back by her own choice i'm just wondering all day if she will or not definetly because she said she might regret breaking up.

just by saying that it feels like she was still doubting and she also said she still is.

texting for her birthday wouldn't be to reconnect but just being polite towards her but you might be right that it's better to not do it.

i know i should just pick up my life again but right now the pain and missing is still to reall i guess

Don't do it.