Taking a Break?

Well I've been with a guy for about a year now, and he is leaving soon to go to army training in Georgia, and I am in Connecticut (we went to college together and he's now home in Pennsylvania). Lately he has been a lot more distant because he is thinking more and more about leaving and he's been just overall more withdrawn because of that. It's been that way probably for the last two weeks, though some days he's completely normal and talkative and others he isn't. My birthday was August 6th, and the next day we made plans for me to come visit him in Philadelphia in a couple weeks and also to go to a concert in September. He's been doing a bit of traveling and I know he's been talking to a lot of his friends that are already in Georgia training about training. He's been talking about how he's been thinking about leaving more and more and what that entails. Today he messaged me saying that he thinks that it isn't fair to me if we are still in a relationship because his head isn't in it anymore, it's elsewhere. He said he cares about me an enormous amount, but the best thing right now is to go on a hiatus from our relationship. I guess what confused me was yesterday he seemed really down and asked me if I was pursuing a relationship with someone else. When I said no, he cheered up and was talking a lot. And then today this happened. But he was just saying he needs some sort of break to sort things out in his head and he doesn't think it's fair if he's checked out like he has been. He said he's been going back and forth for a while and he doesn't feel like a relationship should be just when he's up for it. So we agreed to not talk for a bit so he can clear his head and make a decision on what to do. I guess I'm just not sure what to think or do. I wasn't expecting this. And I don't know if it's just him trying to break up without saying it or if he's just confused and getting nervous/anxious about leaving.

Yes, he is trying to break up with you in a gentle way. he knows it's going to hurt both you AND him and he is trying to minimalise this.

I agree with Keyman, this is a break-up.

He's right that it's best not to continue when his heart and mind aren't in it. He's starting a new phase of his life and he knows he cannot be a good boyfriend to you.