What should I do? Because I love him so much

I've been in relationship with this guy for almost 9 months. He was in love with me for a year and proposed me last year and was so much in love with me. Then we started having little silly and serious fights but still wants to be together. I've been in 3 relationships of which one can't be counted as a relationship. And I've been in bed with one guy whom I loved the most. While dating he asked me whether I've kissed anyone and I had to say no. I didn't wanted him to know about my past and judge me as a girl who sleeps with anyone she can. Also I am his first love and he hasn't kissed any girl before. I was still virgin till me and my current boyfriend made a trip to my sister's place and I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend. Now I feel guilty of not telling the truth to him but my current boyfriend being so possessive and old fashion won't be happy knowing that I have made out with my ex boyfriend. Also I don't want to think about my worse pasts. And if he gets to know that he wasn't the first guy I've been in bed with I don't know whether he'll still love me. And I don't wanna lose him and I really love him that if he leaves me no else would be there in my life.

Sorry to be blunt, but this is a bit of a confusing post. Can you be more clear about what it is you seek advice for?

So basically you lied to him about being a virgin.

I would suggest telling him about the lie, and that you have slept with someone before. Tell him you didn't want to tell him because you didn't want to come across as someone who sleeps ith lots of people.

I probably wouldn't tell him, personally. Frankly, I don't think it's anyone's business who I've dated and slept with in the past so long as I am faithful to my current partner. I'm all for honesty, but I also think people have a right to keep some things private if they don't feel safe/comfortable telling their current partner

Should people always disclose that they've lied or cheated in past relationships? Maybe in an ideal world where they will be met with forgiveness, understanding and similar admissions of guilt. But we do not live in such a world.

You have no obligation to tell him. Whoever you've kissed/slept with is your business only, and if he's going to judge you on it then all the more reason not to disclose it to him

But I would try and be honest moving forward, as much as reasonably possible

You have that fear! If he truly loves you, he will accept it and love you more. Be brave to tell him .

I don't know what got you confused. Thing is I have made out with one of my ex and I haven't said it to my current boyfriend rather I've told him he's my first kiss and he's the first person I'm being so intimate with. So now I feel guilty of not saying the truth to him.

No I'm still virgin. I just made out with my ex boyfriend and I didn't tell my current boyfriend about it.

I'm completely honest with him in my relationship except about my past. I haven't cheated or lied to him in a single way but only that I have lied to him or didn't tell him about my past relationship intimacies.

Has he asked you directly if you were making out with your ex's? I really don't think people should ever lie to their partners and if you see him as someone who is going to be a serious partner and in your life for a long time, maybe you should be honest with him.

The reason why this post is confusing, is because when you said you were in bed with someone, that means sex. And also is you say you sleep with someone, that too means sex.

And you wrote that you lost your virginity but then in the next post, you write that you are still a virgin??!!

I too am confused to be honest.