Incompatibilities with communication

I'm going on a 6th date with a guy this weekend. I really like him and I think he likes me but I'm worried about our lack of compatibility with communication. We had our first date around a month ago, and in between dates he doesn't really communicate. When I text him, he does text back but his msgs are always quite final and do not normally include questions. We generally only see each other at weekends due to his busy job.

I mentioned that I'd like more communication over the week the last time I saw him,but he said he's not a texter and doesn't like calling either. I'm not asking for all day long texting or hours of phone calls, but a call once during the week would be nice. Is this doomed already? I don't know how much to bring it up when we next meet and I wonder if we get to know each other more, he may feel more attached and communicate more? I don't want to be a nag and want him to want to speak to me... Has anyone dealt with this before?

Yeah, there was a girl I dated for a bit who was the same. Even in person having a conversation was like pulling teeth and was always one sided. I was also told this when I was younger, I liked to join a conversation but not initiate one or ask lots of questions.

It is a learnable social skill that I learned so no doubt he can too. Whether he wants to is a different story.

As for the girl I dated, the forced conversation put me off and I went of to date someone else.

Thanks Keyman. I hope my date and I can meet halfway somehow and can compromise.

It's just so strange because if when we meet, we get along really well and have lots to talk about. He says at work he is a people person so I don't understand why it doesn't translate to dating. The way he acts around me makes me think he likes me and he says he's looking to settle down. I don't think he's dating others...

I just don't know how much to bring it up now as an issue or to just wait and see...

How is the communication on the dates? I ask because he sounds a lot like me, I prefer to spend my energy communicating on the date, giving my undivided attention and sharing my weeks details face to face. I do not like texting much, my experiencing with texting is it can be misinterpreted, it can feel impersonal and cold, and when your busy working on something it can be annoyingly distracting. If he seems genuinely interested on the dates, asks questions about you etc, maybe ask him how he feels about texting and tell him how you feel about it when you get a text, of course do this in person and not over text. If you let him know you like texting and he doesn't change, then you decide if it's something you can compromise on or if it's time to move on. Sometimes you just have to be a bit direct.

Thanks Keyman. I hope my date and I can meet halfway somehow and can compromise.

You have had 6 dates. This is not the time to be meeting halfway, compromising or expecting people to change. Its an incompatibility. You move on and find someone that you are compatible with. Communication style and preferences are a sizable thing to not have in common.

Gotta disagree. I think knowing how to enjoy your own life, keeping yourself occupied, and not needing to set parameters for regular communication with someone who, comparatively speaking, is just a blip in your life is itself a learnable skill. I don't text between dates and calling comes later and is by no means regular. I've always gone by the philosophy of if you want more of a fix or to get to know someone more, simply ask them out more, though I'd say six dates in a month is perfectly healthy on its own.

If you don't want to nag, then don't nag. I suppose it's fine if you want a guy who's more eager to text or call, but if it's that important than you, go find that guy.

It's just so strange because if when we meet, we get along really well and have lots to talk about. He says at work he is a people person so I don't understand why it doesn't translate to dating. The way he acts around me makes me think he likes me and he says he's looking to settle down. I don't think he's dating others...

The way it sounds now i'd be inclined to believe it's exactly as he said: he's peopled out from his job, perhaps insanely busy during the week, and isn't really a big fan of instant communication. i would be careful not to assume it means he isn't into you. maybe he just prefers quality time with you than dropping hurried "ily babe"s during the week. Not to mention, you've only been on six dates.

I think once a week is enough quality time at this point. You're probably both free on sundays, sit yourselves down in front of a huge breakfast and talk your hearts out and have fun.

If everything is great when you're together, it sounds like you are getting the best of him. enjoy it.

Don't be needy, be wanty