I need relationship advice, opened to male and female's advice, pls help me!!

Hi everyone,

I normally do not seek advice from any forums like this. But today i hope u guys can give me a bit of honest advice to my situation. I would love to hear from you either you are man or woman. And please forgive my writing because English is not my first language.

My gf and I have been dating for more than a year. She is Caucasian (Russian) and i am Asian. I met her in Asia, at one of the event that she is freelancing modeling and i am the guest. Although we are modeling, I achieved my Bachelor Finance in US and she got her master degree in France. The reason she was in Asia because this was the period the university allow her to do exchange internship in Asia for a year. Then we found that we have a lot in common and we date. However, i received a scholarship in MBA program that i am attending now in US which i am away from her more than 6 months now. We skype everyday with each other. Recently, we got into lots of arguments because of her modeling job. Here are some critical points that make the arguments very intensive:

1) At first, i understand modeling is sensitive. I always support her with her photos and concept until she started few shoots with underwear. She explained to me it is to promote her and basically the shoot just to show the form of her body without any filters. And also this is the mutual agreement with the photographer that benefit both of them. Normally i am very calm but when it come to this, it just turn me into a bad person. I felt lost sometimes. Sometimes i feel i should support her but sometimes i cannot deny my feeling i dont like this at all. I feel like she expose too much of her part of body to stranger ( i hope any guy in this situation feel the same like me)..

2) My gf she likes Asia. And we already talk about when i finish my degree , i will be back and we will settle down. So i told her may be it is time develop her career path in the Master Degree she takes. She does not agree with me. She said modeling is what makes her feel good at the moment. Do not try to stop that. I love my gf and did not object to it. But to me, this is very temporary. My gf is 25. Most people understand that modeling u should start when you are very young and it is usually declined when u turn 30. I already explained to her that. But she responded she loves me but i cannot keep her from what she likes to do. And recently she are very active to send her profile to agencies in Asia to do like traveling model. So there will be possibilities that we will be apart again when i come back home.

3) It is about financial part. Most of her model job pays not so high. Moreover, some are seasonal. Some event pay ok but they are rare. Therefore, she can afford to maintain living but it is very hard to put anything aside. And recently, i am responsible for all the cost and tickets when she come visiting me. I do not mind this because before i go to take MBA, i work in a company. Moreover, i am having a small business that is running very well while im studying abroad. And i feel wasted if she put all her effort to have a Master Degree but now modeling. I do not mind to come back and take care of her, even support her a bit in financial. But i just want her to think through this and start a career.

FRIENDS, am i overthinking or what should i do? Sometimes i feel lost or i am too selfish to keep her? Or maybe our ego is too high? She is the whole world to me. And she feel very strongly her feeling with me when we are together (maybe we share the experience of countries from Soviet Union time). I do not know where this will lead me to? She is the ones i want to spend the rest of my time with. PLEASE share some of the adives and thank you for reading my long post. Have a nice day ,

Unfortunately it sounds like you are uncomfortable with her career. However you should not discourage or dissuade her. She will just resent you. Also LDRs are hard to maintain.

I modeled at one point and yes, they want to take a picture in a bathing suit or underwear so people can see how you are built. Also, its rude to tell her at "30 you decline". Nowadays, they use models well into their 30s, 40s, 50s, for clothes modeling - not necessarily for high end runway modeling anymore, but definitely for advertising clothing or other kinds of products.

I would lay off of it right now and focus on your degree program as well as deciding if a long distance relationship works for you or not. Honestly, if you are in the US and she is making Russian wages, you make more than her even if she is making decent money in the country she is in. So don't use it as a measuring stick that you can afford tickets and she can't. Just make a decision if you want to be with her long term or not. If you don't, break up. If you do, then find a way to be in the same place soon.

I know Wiseman2. But i am a very practical guy. My point is if she takes it as a career, it should be able getting her further leap in future. But the industry is harsh, lot of girls out there do model. Even to get to the level of Victoria Secret models , it takes year and sacrifice (not to mention about inappropriate sacrifice). Recently, i admit her job is interesting but the financial part is very bad. And she has a Master degree, u got me right? i feel so lost now

I really like your comment @abitbroken That why i want comments from female site. How do you suggests to deal with stuff like the fact she models with a lot of male model. I understand that when you model , you have to act alot. Sometimes the acting part just really drives me crazy. She said she care about me a lot and everytime she modeled, she sent me picture. But sometime the picture just made me feel really bad especially when i have some issues to deal with my study program and some business stuff back home. Appreciate for your help

I know Wiseman2. But i am a very practical guy. My point is if she takes it as a career, it should be able getting her further leap in future. But the industry is harsh, lot of girls out there do model. Even to get to the level of Victoria Secret models , it takes year and sacrifice (not to mention about inappropriate sacrifice). Recently, i admit her job is interesting but the financial part is very bad. And she has a Master degree, u got me right? i feel so lost now

People have to pay their dues a long time before making it. There are lots of careers like that. But even if she doesn't hit the big time, maybe she feels she is going to do it while she can, and then have a different career later. If you were a very good basketball player and could get paid to do it, wouldn't you do it in your 20s instead of saying "i better pursue a job in accounting, i can always be a basketball player later?" If you say modeling is for the young - and she is young right now and is getting paid to do it - why not?

heck, Martha Stewart even modeled when she was in college.

It's your job to manage your own career and finances, not hers. When you micromanage, you control and that breeds contempt and discord. You have a right to disapprove of whatever you wish. But then you make the realization that you are not compatible and breakup rather go through the extended drama of not liking what she's doing.

Thank you for listening to me. Do you have any advice on the fact she want to travel around modeling? I find it will affect our relationship a lot if we move in together and when we think about kids?

Thank you for listening to me. Do you have any advice on the fact she want to travel around modeling? I find it will affect our relationship a lot if we move in together and when we think about kids?

She might no longer model when you have kids. But --- what about marriage - doesn't that come before kids?

yeah, ofc marriage come before. Sorry i did not make it clear. i even hope if we become a family, she will stop modeling. You know, i respect her and love to see what she love to do. But at the same time, this really overwhelm me sometimes. It torture me inside when we argue on this. I never want to become a bad person and for the last 8 months we have no big fights but just this recently

Do you trust her? If so then you need to be OK with her career choice. If you keep arguing and fighting she will resent you and probably leave you. If this is not something you can handle, you 2 may not be compatible

Tom Brady doesn't seem to have a problem with this.

I find it will affect our relationship a lot if we move in together and when we think about kids?

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