I'm 17 and I caught my mum cheating on my stepdad, I need advice please.

I'm 17 male, I live with my brother who is 19, my step dad and mum.

My step dad works offshore 30 days at a time and comes home for around 1-2 weeks until he goes back, I'm not very close to my stepdad who is married to my mum and they've been together for 7-8 years.

(I really hope this won't get out to my friend or family I'm just in a lonely place and I'm in an awkward situation, looking for advice and someone to relate and to talk to basically)

For the past 2 weeks or so, as my step dad has been away working... I've hardly seen my mum. She's leaving her car on the drive and I'm not seeing her all day. I Didn't think much of it because she has her own business and she's out a lot, I work part time around 16-24 hours a week and basically she goes to the gym 6am every morning and there's some days I'll go without talking to her or even my brother... I keep to myself and I don't mind it. My brother is a bit clueless he didn't find anything suspicious about my mum being out all day for the past 2 weeks which is fine because it kind of made sense.

5-6 days ago me and my brother where the only ones in the house and we both went to the shop on foot, when we entered the street on the way back a white car pulled up outside my house and my mum got out and went in the house, it was a guy dropping her off and I really can't remember what he looked like... It was around 1pm and she had left her car on the drive, I had been up since 8am and she wasn't in the entire morning (sorry If you're confused).

I asked my mum where she had been and she said to her friends 'name', although her friends is a 2 minute walk away I thought not much of it... She walked there and got a lift back? She said it was her friends husband. This is when the suspicion started.

The past week it's been the same... She's been going out the past few days and I've asked her after not seeing her all day, where have you been? And she either says work or 'none of your business'. But each day she would leave her car on the drive....

So to sum up what I've said so far is that I'm in the house by myself a lot, I never see much of my parents because they're always at work and only lately has my mum been becoming more and more suspicious..

Yesterday morning before I went to work my mum texted me saying she will give me £15 to stay out of the house and go do something with my friends from 18:30pm to 23:30pm.... because she was going out drinking and was going to have 'the girls' back to her house for a curry and drinks. I said can't I just stay in my room and she said no, so I went out.

I don't feel comfortable taking money of my family members or even friends unless it's a birthday or Christmas, I'm not sure why but I'm like that... I pay £80 board each month and i never ever get given money from any of my parents so I was very suspicious when she gave me money to stay out..... I'm not stupid. I went out with my friends in the car and I told them about it, that I have to stay out and I don't believe that her friends were going back to the house, I had a feeling it was a man. At around 21:30.. 3 hours after being out in the car we thought it would be funny to play detective and we drove into my street which is in a dead end, we parked up near the house so we had a perfect view of the house and we turned the engine and lights off so we had a good view for a 'stakeout' my friend driving the car had to go and pick his girlfriend up, so he left me and my other friend in the street because we found it was a good idea.... I wanted to

Go back to his house and play on the Xbox but after ringing the doorbell and running away and seeing shadows in the window he wanted to stay... So we did.

When my friend in the car was driving away he beeped his horn twice and drove off, me and my friend ran out of view behind a car and the porch light came on... Someone went in the porch, it didn't look like my mum and my friend in the car rang me 10 seconds later and said he saw a man just before he drove off which I was in denial about.

It was 22:40pm and I saw one of my cats and the living room window which opened the curtains a little so I had a window of opportunity to look inside, I sneaked around the front of the house and I looked in the porch and saw 1 pair of shoes I didn't recognise and they where White Nike trainers which looked like men's but again I was in denial because I didn't want it to be true. Again, my mum said she has girls around the house so I expected to see women's boots and stuff in the porch but there wasn't, there where no cars outside my house apart from my mums which again made me pretty certain that she didn't have friends round...

I looked through the gap where the cat had opened the curtains and I peaked my head in for around 0.4sec and I saw my mum lying on the couch, I couldn't see anyone else and I was too scared

To look again, I only saw a little bit of her so I couldn't see what she was looking at... The tv was on and she wasn't looking at it.

I ducked under the window and set my phone on record and raised my phone over the cat and I could see what I was recording. I ran back to my friend across the street who was to scared to come near the house and we looked at the footage and it wasn't very good because I didn't get a good view over the cat but I paused the video and I could see 2 faces, my whole body literally started shaking, I was still in denial so I went back over and did the exact same thing and I got a better recording and went back to my friend and we watched it and basically I saw my mum and another guy I didn't know kissing on the couch... I was so shocked, I ddint know how to feel but I said to my friend... We need to get this out of the house and I ran over, my friend stopped outside the drive and I begged him to come with me, I rang the door bell 20-30 times and banged on the window, I had my house keys but there where keys stuck in the other end so I could unlock the door, I was beginning to loSe my temper, the cat was still at the window so I looked through the gap again and they wernt on the couch.

We have Sonos speakers set around the house which basically allows you to play music around the house, after banging on the window the music started blasting, I have the app on my phone so I just turned it off and I could hear crying and shouting in my garden. It was useless knocking, after 10 minutes me and my friend went round to my neighbours and we are pretty close, they're nice people and I told them because I knew they wouldn't tell anyone and they're good people to talk too...

We talked for 15 minutes, I was in total shock and it hasn't really sunk in, I remember them telling me that it might not be what I thing and they where coming up with excuses for my mum and possible answers for what I saw... Everything they said was possible but it all adds ups for the past 2 weeks I've had this feeling and I've caught her red handed because I'm not stupid and I knew something was going on!

After talking for 10-15 minutes with the neighbour I heard a car going into the street towards my house so I ran outside chasing the taxi, the taxi was about 30metres away from my house but I knew that's he taxi driver may have been told to park at the bottom of the street so I wouldn't see a man coming out.... I asked the driver what number are you suppose to be picking up from and he said my house number, I told him to go away because no one would be coming out but as greedy taxi drivers are, he pulled up outside my house.

I went straight to the front door and I was waiting for this guy to come out, I wouldn't say I'm a Voilent person but if the guy came out of my house I swear to god I would've punched the **** out of him, my mum came to the door, drunk. I said who's the taxi for and she said are you coming in? (To me) and we repeated what we both said 2-3 times and she said the taxis for 'name'. I said ok, let him come out then, I'm not coming in the house I'm staying out. I can't really remember exactly what happened but she didn't say anything and I knew the guy was hiding upstairs and my mum closed the door, she acted as if I was stupid and I didn't know what had gone on.

My neighbour was shouting my name from

The bottom of the street so I went over and he took me back into his home where I then spent the next 40-45 minutes talking to him and his wife. The taxi drove past going out of the street after 25 minutes, couldn't see if the guy was in the taxi or not but I didn't care at that point, we talked and I decided to sleep at my friends house who was with me at the time so my neighbour gave us a lift down, on the way down I received a phone call from my mum and I put it on speaker and she acted as if nothing happened, she was drunk so she was slurring her words and basically said 'are you coming home, everyone has went home now you can come' I replied, I'm staying at my friends house I'll see you tommorow because my neighbour who was giving me a lift advised me to say that if she rang...

I'm 17 and have never experienced something like this before, I've never had a girlfriend and like I said, even though I'd like to be close to My parents.. I'm really not, I didn't know how to feel...

I slept at my friends and I told work the next day (which is today) that I could work today just because I didn't get much sleep and I'm still having mixed emotions as I'm typing on my phone right now...

The neighbour I spoke to last night saw the video I took and they spoke to my mum that night, I woke up to a few texts ,

'Delete the video now'

'We will talk tommorow'

'Please don't tell 'name' 'name'

I relied ok I'll be home 10-11am and she said she was working 10:10am so I felt a bit shot that I wouldn't be able to take to her if she was going to work... At this point I feel really bad for my mum because I don't like the thought of her worrying about me telling other people and went she said please don't tell 'name' it made me feel like because I don't like it when my mum has to beg me, I've never been in a situation and I felt upset at that.

I walked home and got in a 10:30am and she was still home which surprised me.. We hugged and we literally had a 1 minute conversation.... She said it was her old school friend and they where both drunk, her friends that were around her house only stayed for an hour and left at 19:30pm which is possible but I didn't beleive it... She kind of brushed it a side and she said please can we just forget about it and I said yes but I stood there just upset and shocked because I had been thinking about the conversation we where going to have all night and it was over?

I didn't speak to her for another 3 hours, she came down stairs and she was all dressed up to go out and I didn't ask where, I helped her put a peice of jewellery on and she left, took her car.

I asked my brother when she left where she was going and he said out with a friend... Seriously, as I'm typing this I literally think it's the guy from last night that she's meeting... She texted me that she was going to work which she didn't but instead went out for

Around 3 hours.

We haven't spoke all night and it's really awkward, I'm still really upset I thought this was going to be the end of this family we had because what she had done but it would be all

My fault if I told people wouldn't it?

I really want to ask her questions which have been stuck in my mind like...

Why didn't you go to work today like yoh said u where, where did you go today? Who with?

The most upsetting thing on my mind has been that the past 2 weeks she has been asking for me and my brother to text our upcoming shifts at work to her so she knows, didn't ask why but did it anyways... Part of me thinks it's because she knows when she can sneak out or have that **** round the house??

I may aswell have just typed a book lol but this is the most serious, awkward, upsetting thing that's happened to me.. I don't know how to feel and I don't want anyone else to find out I just want to know 100% that she isn't going to be sneaking out and doing it again.... Part of me feels like she doesn't know she's in the wrong and that she doesn't know what she's done and the effect it could've or could have on my and my brothers and step dads life....

Really ed right now, not sure what to think. If you read all that then well done... I could've typed a lot more I just don't want to go into a lot of detail, situation and awkward for me right now. I wish I had the courage to ask her the questions I have.

She knows exactly what she's doing. She just doesn't think she'll get caught (by your stepdad). I think your stepdad deserves to know. You could send him an anonymous email to avoid awkwardness, but first you could give your mum a chance to tell him herself. Give her a reasonable deadline and if your stepdad hasn't been told by that deadline, tell him yourself. It's not blackmail; it's giving her a chance to disclose the truth herself.

You really don't know - even I have an old male school friend.

I would advise you dont get involved in that. I know it is tough, but you dont know how this could play out for everyone if you get involved and tell your stepdad, including how it could play out for your mom.

You really don't know - even I have an old male school friend.

What do you mean buddy?