I gifted him a painting

Hello everyone!

I've been dating this older guy for about 2 and a half months now. Cutting the story short at some point I realized he was a narcissist and wasn't treating me well or appreciating me. Regardless of my attempts to relay that to him, it was futile. At one point I tried to go A-wall on him and ignore him completely for a few days, that drove him insane.

My point was to end the relationship, but the humane side of me gave him another chance and I also realized that it was completely immature of me to do such a thing. We reconciled and he started treating me a whole lot better. Things were great until I felt he was bouncing back to his old habits and controlling me. He absolutely adores horses, rides horses as a hobby. Me being an artist, i decided to paint an oil painting of a horse for him. Not being cocky or anything but it was a beautiful piece. I gave it to him as a gift and he loved it.

About a week later I realized I couldn't continue with him as he was reverting to his old ways. However, this time I decided to end it the mature and right way. I met him in person and brought up how we were no longer what we used to be and I honestly wanted to break up right there and then but for some reason my eyes started to water in front of him and I couldn't control it. Evidently I wasn't able to break up in person, I tried to over the phone but the same thing happened. Eventually I realized that I had to do it the horrible way which was over whatsapp. I praised him and said nothing but kind things to him but let him know that I wanted to move on and that it was over.

It was an amicable text although I asked him to forget about me and anything to do with me. I immediately closed my whatsapp account (not giving him any chance to respond as him being a narcissist, he probably would have said some hurtful things) and mobile phone as this break up was one of the hardest things I had to do.

A day later I turned my phone on and I re-activated my whatsapp account. I found one measly call from him on my phone but that was it.

His whatsapp profile picture always was that of a horse photograph he got off of google. Ever since i got whatsapp back he has been signing in almosy every half hour which is not his habit at all. Since i've known him , he would sign in every 2 hours or so.

Another thing he's done since i reactivated whatsapp, when we were both mutually online on whatsapp, he changed his profile picture to a photograph of the horse painting that I gave him.

My question is why did he do that? Why is he signing in and out so frequently and why has he placed my painting as his profile picture now. Is there any meaning to all of this? He hasn't tried to contact me whatsoever aside from that one call. Fact of the matter is he has a huge ego and is narcissistic but deep down is very insecure.

Kindly help me understand. I know i dumped him but it was for the best even though I miss him terribly.

He could be hurt, and is trying to tug at your heartstrings... Maybe he is hoping you will reach out, as he knows you had difficulty in breaking up with him. Who knows.

Trying to figure his behavior out isn't worth it and will drive you crazy. You said you got "one measly call from him and that was it". Sounds like you kind of wanted to see more of an attempt from him to win you back?

He could be hurt, and is trying to tug at your heartstrings... Maybe he is hoping you will reach out, as he knows you had difficulty in breaking up with him. Who knows.

 

Trying to figure his behavior out isn't worth it and will drive you crazy. You said you got "one measly call from him and that was it". Sounds like you kind of wanted to see more of an attempt from him to win you back?

Believe it or not, I actually was hoping there would have been more of an attempt to win me back. Then again his ego would always get the best of him. Also, I didn't give him any chance to respond over whatsapp as i shut it down that day. I also switched off my phone in which period he attempted to call. I guess he got the hint. However, using my painting as his profile picture and not blocking me on whatsapp are those signs he wants me to reach out?

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it

Calling someone a narcissist has become very fashionable over the last few years for some reason, with some people being accused of this personality disorder for merely not complying with the assusers demands or wishes. The only person able to make an accurate assessment of your ex is a qualified clinician. Google Sam Vaknin for a good understanding of just what full blown NPD means, and why you should run like the blazes when someone afflicted with this zeros in on you.

Were dating exclusively in those 10 weeks? How often did you see each other? It sounds like you didn't get along at all and were totally incompatible.

Games and tricks don't change or fix people nor does it get them more interested when the interest simply isn't really there to begin with. What were his horrible habits you were trying to change?

You did the right thing ending it and going no contact. Now you need to block and delete him from all social media and messaging apps so you can heal and move on.

At one point I tried to go A-wall on him and ignore him completely for a few days, that drove him insane. About a week later I realized I couldn't continue with him as he was reverting to his old ways. I asked him to forget about me and anything to do with me.

he is hoping to lure you back so he can keep his supply/ego fodder. why do you care. you already know who he is.

He's doing it to annoy you and succeeding nicely. Time to forget about this guy, you know what he's like.

Well, you should make up your mind. Do you want him to chase you or do you want to break up with him?

I still have feelings for him. The breakup was really rough on me so I would like it if he were to try and get me back

Believe it or not, I actually was hoping there would have been more of an attempt to win me back. Then again his ego would always get the best of him. Also, I didn't give him any chance to respond over whatsapp as i shut it down that day. I also switched off my phone in which period he attempted to call. I guess he got the hint. However, using my painting as his profile picture and not blocking me on whatsapp are those signs he wants me to reach out?

Unfortunately if he's not interested and you dumped him there's no in reason for him to "win you back". When you block and so forth why wouldn't he just respect that and leave you alone?

When you put up walls to shut people out don't expect them to climb over them. It's easier and smarter just to move on rather than get trapped into repeated rejections to boost someone's ego.

If he wanted to reconcile you would know, he would reach out to you. He may just like the pic because of the subject matter.

I actually was hoping there would have been more of an attempt to win me back. I also switched off my phone in which period he attempted to call. I guess he got the hint.

Breaking up with someone is an unforgivably lousy way of manipulating someone if you didn't mean it.

Consider breaking up as a permanent act and treat it accordingly.

Believe it or not, I actually was hoping there would have been more of an attempt to win me back. Then again his ego would always get the best of him. Also, I didn't give him any chance to respond over whatsapp as i shut it down that day. I also switched off my phone in which period he attempted to call. I guess he got the hint. However, using my painting as his profile picture and not blocking me on whatsapp are those signs he wants me to reach out?

Well,sorry, but he owes you nothing You dont dump people to get them back,you dump them to get them out of your life.

Question is not whether he wants you to reach out,but whether you really want to get back with him. If it is so,then maybe you should reach out,but without playing any more games.

I have been trying to move on ever since the break up. Honestly I think it affected me a hundred times more than it did him ,even though I was the dumper . I didn't break up with him as a form of manipulation, rather what I thought was right at the moment. I felt that it was what he wanted subtly so I just did it for the both of us. Honestly imI have been trying to forget him but I just can't. I think of him day in and day out. To be honest I think the major factor is that I didn't talk to him , but rather did it over text and didn't give him a chance to speak or voice himself. I didn't explain myself either and all of this is eating away at me. I just want to reach out and have a friendly talk with him but I'm terrified that I will get ignored or lashed out at. Whenever we had a fight in the past he would block me for a day or so. He hasn't blocked me since the breakup, but rather used my painting as his profile and more recently, he took a selfie in front of my painting and placed it as his profile. Does that mean he may want me to reach out or am I reading into this. I just need closure so we could either reconcile or go our separate ways.

I really appreciate your help and advice.

You haven't blocked him so if he wanted to reach out he would. You handled things well by keeping the breakup neat and clean and simple without awkward emotional drama.

Breaking up IS closure. What you want is reconciliation which is what any post breakup talk or "closure" is usually used to feel out.

I felt that it was what he wanted subtly so I just did it for the both of us.I didn't talk to him , but rather did it over text. I just need closure so we could either reconcile or go our separate ways.

I really appreciate your help and advice.