Girlfriend Problems

My friend and I have had a "thing" for about a year now and we're technically dating. We both love each other and we've grown very comfortable around each other. She's seen my flaws and I've seen hers but we still love each other. I can be myself around her and she can be herself around me. We have a lot of fun together and love being around each other. She's even talked about a future together. She's deeply in love with me. But there's a problem. I'm not really attracted to her. I don't like doing PDA in front of other people. I don't like touching in public places, which she likes very much. So my question is do I look past that and love her for who she is even though I am not that physically attracted to her or do devastate her and move on. Please put yourself in my shoes and help me out, please. (Btw sorry for any grammar mistakes.)

I'm kind of surprised you got together in the first place. Have you ever been physically attracted to her?

There isnt much of a future without that, I'm afraid.

You will devastate her further the longer you spend with her, and her expectation builds while you have one foot out the door by "technically dating" until you eventually end it. Attrraction and love develop over time but after a year and still no attraction is a bad sign for this relationship. You are describing the love a very good friendship.

Some people are fine with that. However, you have an emphasis on not being attracted to her. So to answer your question, and put myself in your shoes, I would think of this as not being fair to either person. You both want more than is here. Sometimes people stay in a situation just to avoid the pain and the years slip by until you wonder how that time passed and why you let it pass like that. Don't delay the inevitable, it would be good to move on so you both have the chance to meet someone for a complete relationship.

That's a huge problem. Don't lead her on just because she likes you and it makes that easy. Stop using her. Be kind and honest that it's not working out as far as romance.

It won't 'devastate her', you're not the last guy on earth. Did your parents arrange this?

I'm not really attracted to her. I don't like doing PDA in front of other people.

I'd say you have to know what you want first. None here can tell you that, I'm afraid. Just look inside you and ask yourself if you want her as your girlfriend or not. This process doesn't involve anyone else. But you need to make a choice there.

And once the decision is made, act according to it.

No, my parents didn't arrange it. What happened was I was attracted to her in the beginning. But over time I lost the attraction. I also don't want to ruin everything we've built. But then again it's so hard for me to be attracted to her.

so there was attraction at first , do you know what made you lose that attraction?

How did you lose the attraction?

I know it's essential to be attracted to your partner. If you don't have that, it's time to let her go and move onto somebody you are attracted too.

Lisa

I feel like I lost the attraction because of what other people said and because we got to close.

To close as in I feel that she would be more of a friend.

Did something change or did she just grow annoying/boring over time? To be honest this is what dating is for...to see what happens over time and 'losing attraction' this early on is not very auspicious. Perhaps you should be her friend, not her bf?

I was attracted to her in the beginning. But over time I lost the attraction.

Nothing really changed except people started telling me she wasn't all that pretty, which I never really listened to any of them because their opinion was irrelevant. But then It got to me and that was also around the time that we started became very good friends.

So whatever they tell you is what you must follow? How old are you?

people started telling me she wasn't all that pretty then It got to me and that was also around the time that we started became very good friends.

It's not just that. That had nothing to with me not wanting to touch in public and all that. Despite what they say I'm still not very attracted to her. Im 16 btw.

Tell her you see her as a friend. It's not fair to her or you to hang out as bf/gf is there's no spark.

I'm still not very attracted to her. Im 16 btw.

Okay thank you.