Lost

Three days ago I ended my relationship, together with the guy I've known for four years. We lived together for two years (still do, I'm at my parents house now). We also booked a backpack vacation to Asia together for next month, and I'm not sure what to do with that.

The thing is, like after almost every relationship that ends, I feel so lost. Friends don't understand it, they ignore the fact that I'm single now, they just want to have fun.

My ex and I were perfect together. We had everything in common, people loved us together. I loved him with all my heart. He pulled me out of my messy life, where in I was very unhappy. With him, my life was colorful again. It felt amazing. We shared so many things together.

Lately It wasn't so good anymore, he did whatever he wanted to do. Rather Without me. He made a lot of new friends, while I kept on seeing my old friends. He ignored me, wasn't nice for me, he never wanted to talk about things anymore and he decided a lot. He was very dominant.

It's just so painful. I tried so much, and got to the point where I had to end the relationship (what he wanted) because he threated me without any kind of respect. It hurts so badly.

Now, when we're finished, I still have some kind of hope he will realize what he's giving up. But this is not gonna happen. He's starting this amazing life without me, while I spend so much time on trying to be the best girlfriend for him. But for what.

I just don't know what to do. I miss him so much. He knows all my friends, hangs Out with them. He is also sad about It, somewhere, but he just gave up on me without even trying or realizing that he was the biggest problem. And I love him, so much. Everything we shared, It was really special.

Just after breaking up (we didn't even say it, It was clear for us after he ignored me for a week while he was in another Country, with women, friends and booze) we cried a lot together. He holded my in his arms, cried what he was going to miss about me, kissed me, called me sweet names. He gave me hope again.

Three days later, it's sinking in. I lost the most important person in my life. And because I will Keep seeing him, because he's in my social life, I'm heading into a hard stage of my life.

And still, I keep on hoping he will come Back to me. Which is hoping for a miracle.

Thank you for reading this post. I can't share It with friends and I'm just lost. It makes me feel kinda better.

I am sorry for your pain, Joyce. 3 days is just a start. It take time to heal. After 9 months, I amgetting there. It gets better everyday. The first 3 to 4 months are the hardest. Your challenge is that you see him, as he is within your social circle. Makes it harder for you to do no contact. Break ups suck!

So, I will just tell you what worked for me: exercise and eat healthy, delete cell, get off social media, keep busy and work, hang out with family and friends, get a hobby or two, remove all photos, gifts, and triggers, redecorate your room, and do not dwell and mop and do not do Crazy exgirlfriend. No begging, or pleading, just exit with grace and dignity and self respect!

Thank you! It's good advice you will just have to find a way to pick up your life. Too bad It takes so much time to heal (for me) and to lose a friend like that. Realisation is hard.

And the other is how you decide to see this. If you see this as a tragedy that you never recover from, that's what it will be. If you view it as one door closing and another opening, that's another thought. It is a gradual process. You have to do the hard thing. Let go. It is okay to be sad and miss them and still love them. Being open to all possibilities and controlling when and how you feel and what your perception of it is key to success!

It doesn't sound like you are finished, just like you had a bad argument. How long are you going to stay with your parents until you go back? Why did you tell him you wanted to break up? Have things been bad for a while or is this sudden? Are you contacting each other?

We lived together, still do. We also booked a backpack vacation to Asia together for next month. Just after breaking up we didn't even say it, It was clear for us after he ignored me for a week.

It doesn't sound like you are finished, just like you had a bad argument. How long are you going to stay with your parents until you go back? Why did you tell him you wanted to break up? Have things been bad for a while or is this sudden? Are you contacting each other?

O no, we are done.. He threatened me badly for like four months. He stopped threating me like a girlfriend. We had a lot of fights, about nothing (which I almost never started, but I wouldnt stand for it), every day. We do love each other tho. He just didn't put much effort in it anymore. We broke up before, I did this, every time, because of the daily fights and because I didn't feel like he loved me anymore (still don't know if it's true). But he wanted me back and wanted to change (nope. Didnt happen).

Now he is the one that has given up, for the first Time. And he won't be crawling Back like I did. A thing with men and pride I gues..

Also we don't contact each other.. I'm sure he's done now.. Tho I don't want it to be done, despite of everything

Are you going back to the house to move out your things or cooling off for a while at your folks this time? How long has the relationship been on/off like this? How often have you stayed at your folks a few days and then he eventually called? If you don't want it to be over why did you call it off?

Yes, but he will be gone by then.. The relationship has been on and of for a few times, but never like this. He won't call me. And I had to end the relationship because he started a new life without me, while still being in a relationship with me, but not acting like it at all.

What kind of new life? Did he announce he was leaving/moving out? Is there someone else? Have you made sure bills and so on have been transferred to one name or the other? Have you begun to sever other ties? Have you changed all your passwords?

Why do you need him to call you? Did he say when he will be out so you can move back in? Can you email him details about the logistics of moving out and severing any joint financial ties?

He won't call me.he started a new life without me.