hitting myself, tantrums and destroying things in anger.Need help w/ my emotions

I have RAGE outbursts. I do not know how to control this behavior when I'm alone.

When other ppl are around, I am too embarrassed to react this way. But when im alone sometimes I lose control and get soo frustrated and angry that I have a tantrum, literally, an adult tantrum. Im a 34 year old man. I am feeling as though I need some guidance and support on how to get a handle on my emotions.

This behavior generally only comes out when Im under pressure, stress from work or relationships.I have not really shown any of my partners this behavior although most have seen glimpses of my bad temper. NOt attractive at all. Society teaches us that men are supposed to be in control of their emotions all the time, and women can flip their lid...and I feel like such a weak man when I cant handle the pressures of life.

This past week has been very stressful at work. I manage a property and feel like everyone is tugging at me from all angles. I am just one guy.

So this morning I was starting work and the barista where I get my morning coffee, was taking a long time, which frustrated me. Then I went back to my office and set my coffee down on a piece of furniture when it fell and spilled everywhere. I in turn threw my shoulder bag accross the room which broke some belongings inside as well as the bag itself broke. I was soooo angry I ripped the bag apart and shredded it into tiny pieces. ( I know this sounds childish but it actually felt good to destroy it, it always feels good during one of my tantrums to wreck things ) I ended up throwing another piece of equipment accross the room and destroying it. The other day I was sooo stressed out from the pressure at work I ripped off my own t shirt and shredded it into tiny pieces I sometimes hit my head in anger or hurt myself too. This releases some of the anger and rage. but then I feel sad because I have to heal the wounds. I have banged my head against a table before and basically feel like IM coming out of my skin.

I don't know where this Rage comes from ( rage is the word. If I video taped myself being this angry I would be so ashamed ) I used to see my mom fly off the handle when we were younger. Lose control of her emotions and be really belligerent. I was never abused as child. My dad had a bit of a temper but my mom would react so explosively when we were younger. She was a single parent raising two kids on her own and working full time. basically, a TON of pressure. I see myself responding to pressure the same way my mom did sometimes. WEAK.

In general, I don't care about material things, but at the same time my feelings and frustrations are no reason to break them. I need to find another outlet to express aND deal with these emotions.

Help.

Counseling to get to the root of this rage.

At the very, very least...an anger management class.

Also...an hour a day at the gym or strenuous exercise to relieve the stress.

This will not dissipate on its own. You need help.

mhowe has it 100% right. Seek therapy. It will be te best thing for you.

Thread under review.